MEMORY -
I remember the anxiety I experienced when Pete's death was nearing. I was out of town at a dance event and felt completely "out of the loop". I remember a conversation I had with mom about Pete's new Hospice arrangements at the house. I wanted to know everything that had to do with his last days. Since my anxiety was coming from fear of the unknown, I thought "being in the know" would help. After all .... knowledge is power, the more that I knew, the less I would fear. I was loaded with questions. Mom answered every one as best as she could, but I still felt a hole of emptiness fill my heart. I knew that my anxiety was coming NOT from the unknown, but the known. I knew he didn't have much longer and I knew I wasn't with him.
Mom called me the next day to tell me that Peter was showing signs of both weakness and restlessness. She then explained to me that he was waiting. Waiting for me to arrive home so he could let go.
I immediately called for an early flight back home. He passed not much longer after I landed and said goodbye. Anxiety of the mind seemed to be flushed away by the soul.
APPLICATION -
Today I experienced some "stage fright" anxiety. I usually perform on a leveled dance floor NOT a stage. I couldn't quite wrap my mind about being "on stage" which is funny considering it's where I grew up. It had been at least 10 years since I had performed on stage. Again, fear of the unknown was taking over. I took a deep breath and thought about my last moments with Pete. I realized my anxiety of stage fright was quite minor to what I had experienced in the past. I then felt a wave of peacefulness come over me, thankful for the opportunity to do what I love on stage.
REFLECTION -
Anxiety is a natural act of the mind, ease it with the natural light of the soul.
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