MEMORY -
Halloween wasn't Peter's favorite holiday, but he loved handing out the candy! He enjoyed seeing all the kids dressed up and playing their parts. He was a kid at heart ..... I'm sure it delighted the little costume covered boy inside.
APPLICATION -
Tonight, I decided to hand out candy to the kids. First time ever! Im usually on the road for business during the spooky holiday, but this year I had it off! Never had such a good time at my door step. Unfortunately, I ran out of candy within no time. Note to self : More candy = More fun!
REFLECTION -
Adults who hand out candy are simply big kids giving back to their inner child
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Man Of Many Faces - Day 33 of 365
MEMORY -
Uncle Pete. A man of few words but a man of many faces.
I don't think he ever realized how animated he really was. If you weren't captured by his words, his facial reactions would surely draw you in. It was always fun to watch his response to something that caught him off guard. He would close his eyes, give his head a quick shake from side to side, let out a sound of shock beneath his breath and yell "WHAT?" in a short toned voice. The look of puzzlement seem to capture my attention. Didn't see that face too often. Nothing puzzled Pete, he seemed to know all ....... all the time.
APPLICATION -
I was going through some files on my computer, when I came across a family vacation aboard a Royal Caribbean Cruise Ship. I flipped through the photos in amazement. Every picture of Pete was different. The rest of the family had similar facial expressions throughout the whole trip, but Peter stood out!
REFLECTION -
Pete did more than just smile for the camera. He gave the person behind the lens something more to look at. A few of my favorites moments caught on film:
A magical smile after an unforgettable sleigh ride
The longest sad face imaginable, covered with silly string
The "Proud Uncle" grin as he helps me unwrap my first Mac laptop
Face of curiosity as he observes a drunk man putting a beer bottle into the hand of a Caesar statue
Eyes of delight as he kicks through a street of foam snow while listening to Christmas carols
Standing in "awe" while taking a photograph of a historical statue
The face that could say a thousand words, as he points to the spot on Chicago ground where we'd make snow angels in the past years.
Then of course ...... the face of absolute surprise, when he realizes he is falling out of his lounge chair as a result of drinking too many Coco Locos!
Out of all the different faces Pete demonstrated, I noticed that one in particular remained consistent. Every picture that him and I were together, his face glows with complete wholeness that tells the world "I'm with my Jenny and that's all that matters"
Uncle Pete. A man of few words but a man of many faces.
I don't think he ever realized how animated he really was. If you weren't captured by his words, his facial reactions would surely draw you in. It was always fun to watch his response to something that caught him off guard. He would close his eyes, give his head a quick shake from side to side, let out a sound of shock beneath his breath and yell "WHAT?" in a short toned voice. The look of puzzlement seem to capture my attention. Didn't see that face too often. Nothing puzzled Pete, he seemed to know all ....... all the time.
APPLICATION -
I was going through some files on my computer, when I came across a family vacation aboard a Royal Caribbean Cruise Ship. I flipped through the photos in amazement. Every picture of Pete was different. The rest of the family had similar facial expressions throughout the whole trip, but Peter stood out!
REFLECTION -
Pete did more than just smile for the camera. He gave the person behind the lens something more to look at. A few of my favorites moments caught on film:
A magical smile after an unforgettable sleigh ride
The longest sad face imaginable, covered with silly string
The "Proud Uncle" grin as he helps me unwrap my first Mac laptop
Face of curiosity as he observes a drunk man putting a beer bottle into the hand of a Caesar statue
Eyes of delight as he kicks through a street of foam snow while listening to Christmas carols
Standing in "awe" while taking a photograph of a historical statue
The face that could say a thousand words, as he points to the spot on Chicago ground where we'd make snow angels in the past years.
Then of course ...... the face of absolute surprise, when he realizes he is falling out of his lounge chair as a result of drinking too many Coco Locos!
Out of all the different faces Pete demonstrated, I noticed that one in particular remained consistent. Every picture that him and I were together, his face glows with complete wholeness that tells the world "I'm with my Jenny and that's all that matters"
Friday, October 29, 2010
Stillness - Day 32 of 365
Today was a day of great Enlightenment. I was able reach a point of stillness within the present moment throughout my day and it was amazing!!!!!
I was in my car, leaving the neighborhood, when I noticed I was coming up to a stop sign. Upon approaching the sign, I heard the most beautiful song being sung by a bird in the tree off to my right. For the first time in my life, I stopped at a stop sign because I wanted to, NOT because I had to. After I made a complete stop, I looked to my right, looked to my left and caught the view behind me. There was no one around, so I remained stopped. I took a deep breath of natures air, released my grip of the steering wheel and enjoyed a few rare moments of parked stillness.
MEMORY -
Pete lived life to it's fullest through stillness. It wasn't uncommon to find him quiet to himself with a smile on his face.
APPLICATION -
Throughout my day, I was aware of the present moment, allowed stillness to take place and effortlessly just "was"
REFLECTION -
It was at that stop sign, I seem to be living the life I was intended to live. There were no thoughts about the past, nor about the future. I was present in the NOW .... and NOW I understand. I understand Pete's way of living , just a little bit more today than I did yesterday.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Life Unwrapped - Day 31 of 365
MEMORY -
Gifts of mystery wrapped ever so perfectly waiting to be opened. Every occasion where gifts were given, you could always recognize the ones from Pete. He paid so much attention to detail, from the way the paper was folded to the hidden pieces of tape that held all the sides together. The tag in which our names were written upon were just as beautiful as the gift wrapping underneath. His gifts were so magically presented, I never wanted to unwrap them.
This memory reminded me of Leo Buscaglia, a man that spoke to my Uncle through his lectures. A college professor who gave many people the insight on what we were born to do. Born to love.
One philosophy of Leo's that Peter seemed to really connected with was "Life is a gift .... it bothers me that most people don't take the opportunity to take off the ribbon, rip it open and enjoy what's inside"
Pete did more than just open HIS gift of life, he taught others how to open theirs. When he handed me a gift, I would tell him " It's so beautiful, I don't want to ruin it by unwrapping it" I would take my time, attempting to keep the packaging intact as if I were to use it again for another celebration. Peter would yell at me " O- don't worry about the paper, just unwrap the darn thing!"
APPLICATION -
Tonight, I watched Leo's lecture "Born To Love" the same lecture that spoke to my uncle so long ago
REFLECTION -
Life IS a gift and our giver is waiting for us to unwrap it. Live in love and enjoy what's inside!
Gifts of mystery wrapped ever so perfectly waiting to be opened. Every occasion where gifts were given, you could always recognize the ones from Pete. He paid so much attention to detail, from the way the paper was folded to the hidden pieces of tape that held all the sides together. The tag in which our names were written upon were just as beautiful as the gift wrapping underneath. His gifts were so magically presented, I never wanted to unwrap them.
This memory reminded me of Leo Buscaglia, a man that spoke to my Uncle through his lectures. A college professor who gave many people the insight on what we were born to do. Born to love.
One philosophy of Leo's that Peter seemed to really connected with was "Life is a gift .... it bothers me that most people don't take the opportunity to take off the ribbon, rip it open and enjoy what's inside"
Pete did more than just open HIS gift of life, he taught others how to open theirs. When he handed me a gift, I would tell him " It's so beautiful, I don't want to ruin it by unwrapping it" I would take my time, attempting to keep the packaging intact as if I were to use it again for another celebration. Peter would yell at me " O- don't worry about the paper, just unwrap the darn thing!"
APPLICATION -
Tonight, I watched Leo's lecture "Born To Love" the same lecture that spoke to my uncle so long ago
REFLECTION -
Life IS a gift and our giver is waiting for us to unwrap it. Live in love and enjoy what's inside!
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Intrigued By Incense - Day 30 of 365
MEMORY -
It was a cylinder of shiny silver metal. The cut out designs that were set throughout, intricately released the scent of soft vanilla into the air. Pete's incense burner caught my eye upon every visit. It gave off a relaxing aroma that seemed to fill his room with meditative energy. I would always comment on the beauty it held. It was so unusually different, something about it spoke to me.
APPLICATION -
Today I took some time to meditate on the past month since I started this blog. It has really changed my perspective on life. I simply have allowed life to happen.
During this time of meditation, I decided to use Uncle Pete's burner. I watched as the incense danced it's way into the air. I studied the gray colored shapes that had left the burner. Found myself getting lost in the movement of the scented smoke feeling my mind getting quieter and quieter.
REFLECTION -
Meditation is unattainable when our minds are racing with thoughts. Today the incense was my tool to silence my thoughts and open my heart. It worked beautifully as I am sure Pete would agree.
It was a cylinder of shiny silver metal. The cut out designs that were set throughout, intricately released the scent of soft vanilla into the air. Pete's incense burner caught my eye upon every visit. It gave off a relaxing aroma that seemed to fill his room with meditative energy. I would always comment on the beauty it held. It was so unusually different, something about it spoke to me.
APPLICATION -
Today I took some time to meditate on the past month since I started this blog. It has really changed my perspective on life. I simply have allowed life to happen.
During this time of meditation, I decided to use Uncle Pete's burner. I watched as the incense danced it's way into the air. I studied the gray colored shapes that had left the burner. Found myself getting lost in the movement of the scented smoke feeling my mind getting quieter and quieter.
REFLECTION -
Meditation is unattainable when our minds are racing with thoughts. Today the incense was my tool to silence my thoughts and open my heart. It worked beautifully as I am sure Pete would agree.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Snow Globe of Love - Day 29 of 365
MEMORY -
A snow trip! In 2008, our family decided to take a magical vacation, one we will never forget. We had the time of our lives in the life size snow globe I call Breckenridge. Among the activities, food and shopping, we all found moments of pure bliss. During that week we seemed to have everything we ever needed all at one point in time. The feeling of joyousness that the holiday season brought to our door step. The sense of security and comfort, sleeping in a sturdy log cabin that was surrounded by God's most beautiful creations. The fun of tapping into each others inner child while playing in the snow. Allowing as much time as needed to prepare home made meals to enjoy at our convenience. The stillness that calmed our spirits as we would sit by the fire to keep warm. The unforgettable rush of adrenaline that raced through our bodies while snow tubing. The feeling of surprise we experienced when Santa Clause greeted us next to a limo awaiting our arrival for a tour of the city. The magic that filled our hearts the night we went on a real sleigh ride!
We had it all and Pete realized that more than anyone! Peter seemed to be relishing in EVERY moment taking notice to how lucky we were all were to have this opportunity and experience it together. I had NEVER seen Peter as happy as I did during that week.
I decided to take all the photos that were taken on that trip and display them in a rotating photo box, wrap it all up and give it to Pete for Christmas. When received, he flipped through the individual albums that were set inside and sat in awe. I could tell he was re-living those special moments one by one. He kept the photo box next to his couch and looked through the pictures quite often. He always told me that box of memories was the best gift received all year long.
APPLICATION -
The photo box now sits upstairs in my loft next to his couch. The two kinda go together I guess. I spent some time with the photos this evening. I have never seen our family so content. Something about our spirits seemed different that week. Tonight as I look at our pictures .... I realize what it was ...... Love....... 100% Love.
REFLECTION -
My definition of Breckenridge 2008 ............ A snow globe of love.
In just a few words, capture your most memorable trip.
A snow trip! In 2008, our family decided to take a magical vacation, one we will never forget. We had the time of our lives in the life size snow globe I call Breckenridge. Among the activities, food and shopping, we all found moments of pure bliss. During that week we seemed to have everything we ever needed all at one point in time. The feeling of joyousness that the holiday season brought to our door step. The sense of security and comfort, sleeping in a sturdy log cabin that was surrounded by God's most beautiful creations. The fun of tapping into each others inner child while playing in the snow. Allowing as much time as needed to prepare home made meals to enjoy at our convenience. The stillness that calmed our spirits as we would sit by the fire to keep warm. The unforgettable rush of adrenaline that raced through our bodies while snow tubing. The feeling of surprise we experienced when Santa Clause greeted us next to a limo awaiting our arrival for a tour of the city. The magic that filled our hearts the night we went on a real sleigh ride!
We had it all and Pete realized that more than anyone! Peter seemed to be relishing in EVERY moment taking notice to how lucky we were all were to have this opportunity and experience it together. I had NEVER seen Peter as happy as I did during that week.
I decided to take all the photos that were taken on that trip and display them in a rotating photo box, wrap it all up and give it to Pete for Christmas. When received, he flipped through the individual albums that were set inside and sat in awe. I could tell he was re-living those special moments one by one. He kept the photo box next to his couch and looked through the pictures quite often. He always told me that box of memories was the best gift received all year long.
APPLICATION -
The photo box now sits upstairs in my loft next to his couch. The two kinda go together I guess. I spent some time with the photos this evening. I have never seen our family so content. Something about our spirits seemed different that week. Tonight as I look at our pictures .... I realize what it was ...... Love....... 100% Love.
REFLECTION -
My definition of Breckenridge 2008 ............ A snow globe of love.
In just a few words, capture your most memorable trip.
Monday, October 25, 2010
No News is Good News - Day 28 of 365
MEMORY -
Being a young child, I remember Pete preparing for his work day. He would watch the morning news until his coffee was done brewing, turn the t.v off and head to the car. He would come home, turn the t.v back on and leave it on throughout the night before heading to bed. He always knew what was happening in the world, thanks to the news channel. He loved politics as well. He could sit and listen to political debates for hours. Being a child at the time, I had no interest in the news. I never understood why Pete was drawn to this display of constant negativity and sadness.
A month after he discovered his terminal illness, he began to detach himself from family and friends (a normal behavior for those whom are nearing death) I found it interesting that he was still very much attached to the world outside of our family. During this time many changes had occurred but one thing that remained the same was his want to watch the news. This time around he wasn't watching it in preparation for work, it was in preparation to die. While tuned in, he would tell us " Things just aren't the way they use to be, I'm okay with leaving this crazy world" The news was his way of easing the detaching process. Although he enjoyed the pleasures that life provided for him, he knew there had to be a better place. A place that is free from politics, hatred and gossip. A place of eternal love, warmth and peace.
APPLICATION -
Today, I caught some of the news. I thought about what Pete said ...... it was true. We live in a crazy world. There had to be a better place than this. The news channel is where the negative seemed to always out weigh the positive. I turned off the t.v, said a prayer for the world and continued about my day.
REFLECTION -
As we use the news channel to connect to whats happening in the world, Pete was using it to disconnect. Today, I understand why. When one is caught up in the secular world, the news seems informative and entertaining. When one is about to enter a new, the news is nothing but a reminder of the anguish we leave behind and the peace that lies ahead.
Being a young child, I remember Pete preparing for his work day. He would watch the morning news until his coffee was done brewing, turn the t.v off and head to the car. He would come home, turn the t.v back on and leave it on throughout the night before heading to bed. He always knew what was happening in the world, thanks to the news channel. He loved politics as well. He could sit and listen to political debates for hours. Being a child at the time, I had no interest in the news. I never understood why Pete was drawn to this display of constant negativity and sadness.
A month after he discovered his terminal illness, he began to detach himself from family and friends (a normal behavior for those whom are nearing death) I found it interesting that he was still very much attached to the world outside of our family. During this time many changes had occurred but one thing that remained the same was his want to watch the news. This time around he wasn't watching it in preparation for work, it was in preparation to die. While tuned in, he would tell us " Things just aren't the way they use to be, I'm okay with leaving this crazy world" The news was his way of easing the detaching process. Although he enjoyed the pleasures that life provided for him, he knew there had to be a better place. A place that is free from politics, hatred and gossip. A place of eternal love, warmth and peace.
APPLICATION -
Today, I caught some of the news. I thought about what Pete said ...... it was true. We live in a crazy world. There had to be a better place than this. The news channel is where the negative seemed to always out weigh the positive. I turned off the t.v, said a prayer for the world and continued about my day.
REFLECTION -
As we use the news channel to connect to whats happening in the world, Pete was using it to disconnect. Today, I understand why. When one is caught up in the secular world, the news seems informative and entertaining. When one is about to enter a new, the news is nothing but a reminder of the anguish we leave behind and the peace that lies ahead.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Pete's Magic Apron - Day 27 of 365
MEMORY -
It was on many Sundays, like the one today. Uncle Pete would proudly wear his red and white striped apron, and transform the kitchen into a workspace fit for a Chef. It was like magic. He would make something out of nothing. I was always shocked when he told me the limited amount of ingredients he was using.
I remember walking into a home heavily scented of garlic and basil. I'd pop my head around the corner to check in on the master chef himself. He would call me over to the stove where I would get a taste of his work in progress. Never short of amazing, even in the early stages of cook time.
When he wore that apron, he was more than just a man not wanting to get his shirt dirty. He became a provider for the family. EVERY Sunday he prepared our family with a meal that would have our taste buds dancing in flavor. Just before he served the meal, he would briskly wipe his hands on the apron, undo the ties in the back and hang it in the pantry until the following week. It seemed him and this apron had a " same time, same place" meeting arrangement week after week. It was something he could count on and something we could look forward too. Within his collection of cooking tools, the apron was the first he used and the last to put away, being the most used item in the kitchen.
APPLICATION -
Today I decided to have the family over for dinner. As I was hunting down the needed ingredients from the pantry, I noticed his apron. I decided to hang it on the wall in our kitchen to remind me of his cooking days, but never thought about wearing it. In the midst of chopping garlic and boiling water, I decided to give the apron a shot. If anything, maybe Pete's talent would rub off on me. Lord knows I need it when I'm in a kitchen surrounded by heat and knives! As I walked into the living room, a glimpse of myself reflected clearly through the sliding glass door. I couldn't help but remember all the good moments this well loved piece of fabric was apart of.
The once lonely Williams-Sonoma apron that hung from a kitchen wall, is now brought back to life in a new kitchen with a new Chef. It was indeed a staple in Pete's Sunday wardrobe, and it seems to be making it's way into mine.
REFLECTION -
I know wearing this apron won't improve my cooking skills, but as it did with Pete, it will remind me that providing for the family can be as simple as preparing a meal. A meal made with time, effort and most importantly, love. Good meals will come and go, but the magic of that apron will always remain.
It was on many Sundays, like the one today. Uncle Pete would proudly wear his red and white striped apron, and transform the kitchen into a workspace fit for a Chef. It was like magic. He would make something out of nothing. I was always shocked when he told me the limited amount of ingredients he was using.
I remember walking into a home heavily scented of garlic and basil. I'd pop my head around the corner to check in on the master chef himself. He would call me over to the stove where I would get a taste of his work in progress. Never short of amazing, even in the early stages of cook time.
When he wore that apron, he was more than just a man not wanting to get his shirt dirty. He became a provider for the family. EVERY Sunday he prepared our family with a meal that would have our taste buds dancing in flavor. Just before he served the meal, he would briskly wipe his hands on the apron, undo the ties in the back and hang it in the pantry until the following week. It seemed him and this apron had a " same time, same place" meeting arrangement week after week. It was something he could count on and something we could look forward too. Within his collection of cooking tools, the apron was the first he used and the last to put away, being the most used item in the kitchen.
APPLICATION -
Today I decided to have the family over for dinner. As I was hunting down the needed ingredients from the pantry, I noticed his apron. I decided to hang it on the wall in our kitchen to remind me of his cooking days, but never thought about wearing it. In the midst of chopping garlic and boiling water, I decided to give the apron a shot. If anything, maybe Pete's talent would rub off on me. Lord knows I need it when I'm in a kitchen surrounded by heat and knives! As I walked into the living room, a glimpse of myself reflected clearly through the sliding glass door. I couldn't help but remember all the good moments this well loved piece of fabric was apart of.
The once lonely Williams-Sonoma apron that hung from a kitchen wall, is now brought back to life in a new kitchen with a new Chef. It was indeed a staple in Pete's Sunday wardrobe, and it seems to be making it's way into mine.
REFLECTION -
I know wearing this apron won't improve my cooking skills, but as it did with Pete, it will remind me that providing for the family can be as simple as preparing a meal. A meal made with time, effort and most importantly, love. Good meals will come and go, but the magic of that apron will always remain.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Cow, Chicken, Goose, Duck -Day 26 of 365
MEMORY -
Like most dedicated employees, Peter had his days of "burn out". The mornings he had to be up at 4:30 am to prepare for his day seemed to be the hardest on him. On some days, his physical demands were higher than others. Those were the evenings he would come home, exhausted from head to toe. His words were short and patience wore thin. He'd grab a quick dinner, go to his room and watch the evening news till he fell asleep.
Why do we allow ourselves to remain "on the clock" when we are clearly off?
APPLICATION -
This is the first time in 26 days, I am unable to bring myself to a focused enough place in my head and heart to write freely about my day. I feel so ....... empty. I realize that for the first time in almost a month, I lived like I did 27 days ago. Driven by tasks and blinded by completion, still allowing myself to think about my job, even after it was completed. Having a night very similar to the ones that Pete had every now and again.
Today, I was obsessed with choreographing a routine for my student. I started the session with enthusiasm and spunk. Everything was rolling smoothly until the third hour. I began losing creative momentum and it was thinning my patience. I knew my brain was fried when my counts were changing from 1,2,3,4 ...... 5,6,7,8 into .............
"Cow, Chicken, Goose, Duck .... I don't really give a $@&!" As I recited each farm animal, I stomped my feet and flailed my hands. The words came out so quick, I didn't even realized what I had said!!!
My mother looked up in surprise and began to laugh. While my student and mom were busy laughing up a storm, I was forming a storm of my own. A complete brainstorm, thundered in thought, wondering "Why couldn't my choreography come out as smoothly as that did?" I knew then, my time was up. I kicked myself off the clock, put my things away and drove home. Bummed I didn't reach my goal of completion, I left knowing I gave everyone a good laugh. Why did I allowed my brain to remain ON THE CLOCK after I got home?
The rest of my day was spent thinking about that choreography. It wasn't till about an hour ago I sat down to my computer, took a deep breath and realized my Saturday went by in a flash. I am empty and have nothing to write about. That feeling is what got me thinking. Everyone has these types of days. I have them, you have them and Pete had them. After I am done with this blog, I will do as Pete did. Enjoy what I have left of my day, then head to bed in peace.
REFLECTION -
If you ever notice yourself reciting a cranky rhyme involving farm animals and bad language .... it's time to take a breather. Take a break and recharge as soon as you can. This way, you are able to salvage the calm parts of your day then go to bed. When Pete went to bed after dinner, it wasn't because he was still "on the clock" he just wanted to salvage what he had left of his day ...... to find the peace and enjoy the quiet, all completely done OFF THE CLOCK.
Like most dedicated employees, Peter had his days of "burn out". The mornings he had to be up at 4:30 am to prepare for his day seemed to be the hardest on him. On some days, his physical demands were higher than others. Those were the evenings he would come home, exhausted from head to toe. His words were short and patience wore thin. He'd grab a quick dinner, go to his room and watch the evening news till he fell asleep.
Why do we allow ourselves to remain "on the clock" when we are clearly off?
APPLICATION -
This is the first time in 26 days, I am unable to bring myself to a focused enough place in my head and heart to write freely about my day. I feel so ....... empty. I realize that for the first time in almost a month, I lived like I did 27 days ago. Driven by tasks and blinded by completion, still allowing myself to think about my job, even after it was completed. Having a night very similar to the ones that Pete had every now and again.
Today, I was obsessed with choreographing a routine for my student. I started the session with enthusiasm and spunk. Everything was rolling smoothly until the third hour. I began losing creative momentum and it was thinning my patience. I knew my brain was fried when my counts were changing from 1,2,3,4 ...... 5,6,7,8 into .............
"Cow, Chicken, Goose, Duck .... I don't really give a $@&!" As I recited each farm animal, I stomped my feet and flailed my hands. The words came out so quick, I didn't even realized what I had said!!!
My mother looked up in surprise and began to laugh. While my student and mom were busy laughing up a storm, I was forming a storm of my own. A complete brainstorm, thundered in thought, wondering "Why couldn't my choreography come out as smoothly as that did?" I knew then, my time was up. I kicked myself off the clock, put my things away and drove home. Bummed I didn't reach my goal of completion, I left knowing I gave everyone a good laugh. Why did I allowed my brain to remain ON THE CLOCK after I got home?
The rest of my day was spent thinking about that choreography. It wasn't till about an hour ago I sat down to my computer, took a deep breath and realized my Saturday went by in a flash. I am empty and have nothing to write about. That feeling is what got me thinking. Everyone has these types of days. I have them, you have them and Pete had them. After I am done with this blog, I will do as Pete did. Enjoy what I have left of my day, then head to bed in peace.
REFLECTION -
If you ever notice yourself reciting a cranky rhyme involving farm animals and bad language .... it's time to take a breather. Take a break and recharge as soon as you can. This way, you are able to salvage the calm parts of your day then go to bed. When Pete went to bed after dinner, it wasn't because he was still "on the clock" he just wanted to salvage what he had left of his day ...... to find the peace and enjoy the quiet, all completely done OFF THE CLOCK.
Friday, October 22, 2010
A Voice Not Forgotten -Day 25 of 365
MEMORY -
Pete's voice was ever so soothing and filled with kindness. He had humor in his tone and wisdom in his words. It didn't matter what he spoke about, when he spoke, everyone listened.
APPLICATION -
Today during a "Father/Daughter lunch", Dad let me listen to a few voice memos Peter had recorded. It felt amazing to hear his voice again. Almost an unreal encounter..... real in sound, yet unreal in time. I wanted to jump through the phone and give him a hug, something completely unreal and utterly ridiculous. I have never felt an equal amount of sadness and happiness all at one time like I did today.
REFLECTION -
I copied the sound clip to my computer in efforts to preserve a part of him that defined every ounce of his being. You don't realize how much you miss someones voice until the only means of hearing them is through a digital memo pad, luckily I have that much.
Pete's voice was ever so soothing and filled with kindness. He had humor in his tone and wisdom in his words. It didn't matter what he spoke about, when he spoke, everyone listened.
APPLICATION -
Today during a "Father/Daughter lunch", Dad let me listen to a few voice memos Peter had recorded. It felt amazing to hear his voice again. Almost an unreal encounter..... real in sound, yet unreal in time. I wanted to jump through the phone and give him a hug, something completely unreal and utterly ridiculous. I have never felt an equal amount of sadness and happiness all at one time like I did today.
REFLECTION -
I copied the sound clip to my computer in efforts to preserve a part of him that defined every ounce of his being. You don't realize how much you miss someones voice until the only means of hearing them is through a digital memo pad, luckily I have that much.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
The Gucci Lesson - Day 24 of 365
MEMORY -
It was Christmas 1985, and Pete had his eye on a beautiful Gucci purse for his mother. Mom tells me that this was his first BIG dollar purchase for his mom and was bought from a Marshall Fields at the Oakbrook Mall in Chicago. Once the purse was purchased, he couldn't wait to give it too her. Who doesn't love an expensive designer bag for the holidays?
Weeks went by, excitement grew but the giver of the purse just had to wait till Christmas. Pete had never seen his mom get to enjoy many luxuries. All the hard work she did throughout her life went to support the family. He thought it was finally time for her to have a gift of luxury ..... not only a beautiful purse, but a Gucci!
Christmas was here and the wait was over. Pete handed handed her the beautifully wrapped gift. She slowly unwrapped it, rip by rip. Her reaction wasn't one that would be expected. Pete, Mom and Dad waited in anticipation for the yell of surprise, but nothing came out. She seemed happy to have a new purse, but said nothing about the designer label. She looked up and said with a sweet little voice" O - well thank you Peter" Grandma was a very content woman, perfectly happy with the simple things in life, the practical things ..... a purse is all she wanted ..... she didn't even notice it was a Gucci. Poor Pete. Mom and Dad still laugh at that story. That day, Pete learned an expensive lesson. Only buy designer labels for people who know what they are!
Despite the understated reaction from Grandma, she took a liking to that bag over the next 10 years. Everyday, every occasion, that purse was with her all the time. Labeled or not, Grandma would carry that purse with pride. It came from her Son, and that was all that mattered.
APPLICATION -
In a rush to clean the house before having company over, I tossed a few "out of place" items in a storage cabinet near the dining room. Grandma's Gucci seemed to grasp my sight and distract me from my chores. I took it out and placed it on the floor. Like a little girl, I began exploring every nook and cranny. I discovered that her Gucci purse was also accompanied by a Gucci wallet AND a Gucci keyring. Inside, she had a brag book that was overloaded with pictures of me as a child. There were also two beautiful pens, a rosary and some pictures I had drawn for her throughout my school years. Her wallet held dozens of discount cards along with a few folded singles. Her keyring had a key chain that stated "No. 1 Grandma"and another that held a picture of me in between herself and Uncle Pete while on a Disney vacation.
REFLECTION -
Tonight I noticed something of great importance. Pete loved his mother dearly and believed that "The Best" deserve "The Best". His mother was the "Gucci" in his life. She was his carrier, his designer and the staple in his life that would always be fashionable, no matter what the season. A Gucci was perfect for her in his eyes.
Over those years, the purse was filled with faith, love and memories. Sadly, now sits in my home collecting dust. Within the next week, I plan on giving the purse a professional make over. After it's received "The Best" treatment I can give it, I plan on using it as my new everyday purse. A priceless reminder that a designer bag is nothing if it isn't filled with love.
Grandma would be thrilled to know her purse of practicality was being put to good use again while Uncle Pete would be tickled that someone finally appreciated his effort in buying a designer bag!
Done and Done!!!!
It was Christmas 1985, and Pete had his eye on a beautiful Gucci purse for his mother. Mom tells me that this was his first BIG dollar purchase for his mom and was bought from a Marshall Fields at the Oakbrook Mall in Chicago. Once the purse was purchased, he couldn't wait to give it too her. Who doesn't love an expensive designer bag for the holidays?
Weeks went by, excitement grew but the giver of the purse just had to wait till Christmas. Pete had never seen his mom get to enjoy many luxuries. All the hard work she did throughout her life went to support the family. He thought it was finally time for her to have a gift of luxury ..... not only a beautiful purse, but a Gucci!
Christmas was here and the wait was over. Pete handed handed her the beautifully wrapped gift. She slowly unwrapped it, rip by rip. Her reaction wasn't one that would be expected. Pete, Mom and Dad waited in anticipation for the yell of surprise, but nothing came out. She seemed happy to have a new purse, but said nothing about the designer label. She looked up and said with a sweet little voice" O - well thank you Peter" Grandma was a very content woman, perfectly happy with the simple things in life, the practical things ..... a purse is all she wanted ..... she didn't even notice it was a Gucci. Poor Pete. Mom and Dad still laugh at that story. That day, Pete learned an expensive lesson. Only buy designer labels for people who know what they are!
Despite the understated reaction from Grandma, she took a liking to that bag over the next 10 years. Everyday, every occasion, that purse was with her all the time. Labeled or not, Grandma would carry that purse with pride. It came from her Son, and that was all that mattered.
APPLICATION -
In a rush to clean the house before having company over, I tossed a few "out of place" items in a storage cabinet near the dining room. Grandma's Gucci seemed to grasp my sight and distract me from my chores. I took it out and placed it on the floor. Like a little girl, I began exploring every nook and cranny. I discovered that her Gucci purse was also accompanied by a Gucci wallet AND a Gucci keyring. Inside, she had a brag book that was overloaded with pictures of me as a child. There were also two beautiful pens, a rosary and some pictures I had drawn for her throughout my school years. Her wallet held dozens of discount cards along with a few folded singles. Her keyring had a key chain that stated "No. 1 Grandma"and another that held a picture of me in between herself and Uncle Pete while on a Disney vacation.
REFLECTION -
Tonight I noticed something of great importance. Pete loved his mother dearly and believed that "The Best" deserve "The Best". His mother was the "Gucci" in his life. She was his carrier, his designer and the staple in his life that would always be fashionable, no matter what the season. A Gucci was perfect for her in his eyes.
Over those years, the purse was filled with faith, love and memories. Sadly, now sits in my home collecting dust. Within the next week, I plan on giving the purse a professional make over. After it's received "The Best" treatment I can give it, I plan on using it as my new everyday purse. A priceless reminder that a designer bag is nothing if it isn't filled with love.
Grandma would be thrilled to know her purse of practicality was being put to good use again while Uncle Pete would be tickled that someone finally appreciated his effort in buying a designer bag!
Done and Done!!!!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Teaching From A Distance - Day 23 of 365
MEMORY -
Marcus Aurelius, Uncle Pete's favorite Philosopher. I never spoke to Pete about his books, but I know he was a BIG fan of his meditations. He had collections of his books all throughout his personal library. After Peter passed, I took a few of those books and added them to mine.
APPLICATION -
Today, I felt the need to crack open one of his books and randomly read the first paragraph I set eyes on. The book seemed to open itself as a page with a bent in corner turned and set flat. Having a day full of challenges, I needed some inspiration and reassurance, it seemed I had come to just the right page at just the right time.
It Stated:
" I learned self-government, and not to be led aside by anything; and cheerfulness in all circumstances, as well as in illness; and a just admixture in the moral character of sweetness and dignity, and do what was set before me without complaining."
REFLECTION -
They were the EXACT words I needed to hear, especially on this day! Pete's spirit doesn't fail to surprise me. In one way or another, he finds a way to be here for me and continues to teach me from a distance, comforting me at times when comfort is most needed. Today was definitely one of those days, and he came through, yet again.
Marcus Aurelius, Uncle Pete's favorite Philosopher. I never spoke to Pete about his books, but I know he was a BIG fan of his meditations. He had collections of his books all throughout his personal library. After Peter passed, I took a few of those books and added them to mine.
APPLICATION -
Today, I felt the need to crack open one of his books and randomly read the first paragraph I set eyes on. The book seemed to open itself as a page with a bent in corner turned and set flat. Having a day full of challenges, I needed some inspiration and reassurance, it seemed I had come to just the right page at just the right time.
It Stated:
" I learned self-government, and not to be led aside by anything; and cheerfulness in all circumstances, as well as in illness; and a just admixture in the moral character of sweetness and dignity, and do what was set before me without complaining."
REFLECTION -
They were the EXACT words I needed to hear, especially on this day! Pete's spirit doesn't fail to surprise me. In one way or another, he finds a way to be here for me and continues to teach me from a distance, comforting me at times when comfort is most needed. Today was definitely one of those days, and he came through, yet again.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
"I Hope You Dance" - Day 22 of 365
MEMORY -
Year 2002, Pete gave me a journal titled "I Hope You Dance" for my Golden Birthday ( turned 19 on the 19th of October) The inside of the cover stated the lyrics to the song. At the bottom of the page beneath the lyrics, Pete signed it "Love Uncle Pete 10-19-2002 xxxxoooo"
Every year for my Birthday, the gifts would change, but every year his birthday remark remained the same... "You Ol Lady!!!!" poking fun at the fact I had so much youth still ahead. Another one of his famous one liners was "Enjoy these years because once you hit 30 .. blink your 40, blink your 50, blink your 60 " blinking his eyes after every spoken "blink". I would laugh it off, but as much as I didn't want to believe it, it was true.
Time goes by ever so quickly as you begin to mature and grow older. We become wiser and more aware of where we have been where we are and where we are going. When your world gets filled with more responsibilities, relationships and milestones, it's hard to find time for the good things in life that allow you to slow down, relax and do what YOU want to do. I see now what he was trying to tell me when he gave me that journal titled "I Hope You Dance"
APPLICATION -
I took the journal out and re-read the lyrics. I ran my finger across his writing remembering the day I turned 19. Today, in between the cake, presents and celebrations, I took the time to "dance" ...... living exactly how Pete hoped for me to live and it felt great.
REFLECTION -
Life goes by in a blink, take the time to do what makes you happy and remember to dance!
Year 2002, Pete gave me a journal titled "I Hope You Dance" for my Golden Birthday ( turned 19 on the 19th of October) The inside of the cover stated the lyrics to the song. At the bottom of the page beneath the lyrics, Pete signed it "Love Uncle Pete 10-19-2002 xxxxoooo"
Every year for my Birthday, the gifts would change, but every year his birthday remark remained the same... "You Ol Lady!!!!" poking fun at the fact I had so much youth still ahead. Another one of his famous one liners was "Enjoy these years because once you hit 30 .. blink your 40, blink your 50, blink your 60 " blinking his eyes after every spoken "blink". I would laugh it off, but as much as I didn't want to believe it, it was true.
Time goes by ever so quickly as you begin to mature and grow older. We become wiser and more aware of where we have been where we are and where we are going. When your world gets filled with more responsibilities, relationships and milestones, it's hard to find time for the good things in life that allow you to slow down, relax and do what YOU want to do. I see now what he was trying to tell me when he gave me that journal titled "I Hope You Dance"
APPLICATION -
I took the journal out and re-read the lyrics. I ran my finger across his writing remembering the day I turned 19. Today, in between the cake, presents and celebrations, I took the time to "dance" ...... living exactly how Pete hoped for me to live and it felt great.
REFLECTION -
Life goes by in a blink, take the time to do what makes you happy and remember to dance!
Monday, October 18, 2010
Good Things Come In 3's - Day 21 of 365
MEMORY -
Feels like yesterday when Uncle Pete introduced me to the hilarious British sitcom "Fawlty Towers". It became our little tradition for a few months until we managed to finish all 12 episodes. We would watch episode after episode laughing out loud and quoting John Cleese, other wise known as "Basil" in the show. It became our little "thing" together. No one else in the family quite enjoyed the show like we did. For years we would take out the same 12 episodes and watch them like it was the first time, laughing at the same scenes we had seen countless times before. Pete and I were such fans of the show, we would organize a night called "Fawlty Fest". We would watch a disc or two .... on some nights even watch the whole collection. They were nights in front of the television I will never forget.
APPLICATION -
I had an evening off and decided to reunite myself with the characters from the show and start on disc 1, giving myself my own little "Fawlty Fest". A feeling of uninvited loneliness seemed to find it's way into my living room. I had never watched Fawlty Towers without Pete until tonight. I pressed play and began episode one. It didn't take long for me to relax and enjoy the show. I was laughing within the first 5 minutes. The writing is great, but it was remembering Peter's laughter that made tonight special. During the show, Pete would let out a high noted "hoooo" just before his laugh, turn bright red with laughter, then move his glasses away to wipe the tears of delight that filled his eyes. He would do all of this while reciting the line that just tickled him silly..... a very enjoyable sight to see and one I hope to never forget.
REFLECTION -
I look back on those good times and how simple they really were. The comfort of a couch, the company of a loved one, and the humor of a hilarious sitcom. 3 things, that made 2 people, have 1 unforgettable night!
Next time you have a night off, reward yourself. Surround yourself with 3 things that make you happy and enjoy!
Feels like yesterday when Uncle Pete introduced me to the hilarious British sitcom "Fawlty Towers". It became our little tradition for a few months until we managed to finish all 12 episodes. We would watch episode after episode laughing out loud and quoting John Cleese, other wise known as "Basil" in the show. It became our little "thing" together. No one else in the family quite enjoyed the show like we did. For years we would take out the same 12 episodes and watch them like it was the first time, laughing at the same scenes we had seen countless times before. Pete and I were such fans of the show, we would organize a night called "Fawlty Fest". We would watch a disc or two .... on some nights even watch the whole collection. They were nights in front of the television I will never forget.
APPLICATION -
I had an evening off and decided to reunite myself with the characters from the show and start on disc 1, giving myself my own little "Fawlty Fest". A feeling of uninvited loneliness seemed to find it's way into my living room. I had never watched Fawlty Towers without Pete until tonight. I pressed play and began episode one. It didn't take long for me to relax and enjoy the show. I was laughing within the first 5 minutes. The writing is great, but it was remembering Peter's laughter that made tonight special. During the show, Pete would let out a high noted "hoooo" just before his laugh, turn bright red with laughter, then move his glasses away to wipe the tears of delight that filled his eyes. He would do all of this while reciting the line that just tickled him silly..... a very enjoyable sight to see and one I hope to never forget.
REFLECTION -
I look back on those good times and how simple they really were. The comfort of a couch, the company of a loved one, and the humor of a hilarious sitcom. 3 things, that made 2 people, have 1 unforgettable night!
Next time you have a night off, reward yourself. Surround yourself with 3 things that make you happy and enjoy!
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Chicago Pete - Day 20 of 365
MEMORY -
Being the member in the family who lived the longest in Chicago, Pete was the one to give us all the stories of the "Windy City". From his first management position at a local bookstore to the good Italian restaurants in the area. He brought back old Chicago memories during the holidays, after dinner or over coffee. I loved to hear all of his stories, especially the ones he told specifically about my baby years. Leaving Chicago when I was 3 didn't leave much too memory, but having someone you love share the memories THEY remember of you is just as awesome!
APPLICATION -
Today, Mom brought me out for an early birthday surprise. A day with her alone is always a delight, our work schedules always collide. She took me to "Hot Dog Heaven" which specializes in REAL Chicago Hot Dogs! I had never been there before, so I didn't know what to expect. Before we arrived to the over sized, roof top hot dog, she told me "Pete loved this place". As soon as I walked in, I felt Pete everywhere. This place was a true Chicago hot dog joint, one that Peter couldn't get enough of. It's rare in Orlando to have any sort of up north food finds so this was a real treat! The food was sinfully amazing! Mom shared stories of Pete while we fed our faces silly with the best hot dogs and the tamales around.
REFLECTION -
I realized Pete was in Heaven, just didn't know it had Hot Dogs!
Being the member in the family who lived the longest in Chicago, Pete was the one to give us all the stories of the "Windy City". From his first management position at a local bookstore to the good Italian restaurants in the area. He brought back old Chicago memories during the holidays, after dinner or over coffee. I loved to hear all of his stories, especially the ones he told specifically about my baby years. Leaving Chicago when I was 3 didn't leave much too memory, but having someone you love share the memories THEY remember of you is just as awesome!
APPLICATION -
Today, Mom brought me out for an early birthday surprise. A day with her alone is always a delight, our work schedules always collide. She took me to "Hot Dog Heaven" which specializes in REAL Chicago Hot Dogs! I had never been there before, so I didn't know what to expect. Before we arrived to the over sized, roof top hot dog, she told me "Pete loved this place". As soon as I walked in, I felt Pete everywhere. This place was a true Chicago hot dog joint, one that Peter couldn't get enough of. It's rare in Orlando to have any sort of up north food finds so this was a real treat! The food was sinfully amazing! Mom shared stories of Pete while we fed our faces silly with the best hot dogs and the tamales around.
REFLECTION -
I realized Pete was in Heaven, just didn't know it had Hot Dogs!
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Clean Attempt - Day 19 of 365
MEMORY -
We were driving our way from Las Vegas to the Grand Canyon. I was sitting in the back seat with Uncle Pete and my brother, Christian. Pete sneaked a Twinkie from out of his bag, which sat neatly beside him. It was so terribly hot in the car the insides of the Twinkie began to melt. Within seconds, the once neatly contained cream filled Twinkie seemed to explode and find itself all over Pete. After shoving the Twinkie in his mouth to put a stop to the leakage, he realized there was a BIG mess to clean up. The look of panic he gave when he couldn't find napkins was priceless! Christian and I were in tears, each bent over laughing our stomachs into a cramp fest! Pete ever so casually grabbed his little bottle of Purell and like a pro, gave his hands a squirt. Chrish and I looked at each other and asked "What is he doing?"
Pete went onto mix the Twinkie cream with the Purell as if he had done it before with great success. Pete slapped his hands together and smiled like he just made the Great Wall of China magically disappear. He put the Purell away and gave us kids a thumbs up ( a common gesture he would use when he was content ) I never asked him, but I'm almost sure his hands were sticky for the rest of the drive!!!!
APPLICATION -
Today, the family and I decided to take the dogs out for a festive fall walk in the ever so perfect Celebration Community. We sat down to have lunch and take in the seasonal decor. Misty (my parent's new 8 month old Weimaraner ) enjoyed a long drink of water then tossed her head up in my direction. Before I knew it, I was covered in puppy drool! My drool covered napkin wasn't going to cut it, so Christian handed me a little bottle of Purell. Even though I desperately needed a napkin, I thought of Pete and gave my hands a squirt. I laughed to myself as I vigorously rubbed my hands together. If anything, Pete taught me how to kill bacteria .... not so much clean up a mess ;-)
REFLECTION -
I learned that Purell was my Uncle's Windex. It cleaned up his messes in life and on certain occasions like the one above, it offered a show of humorous entertainment.
Next time you are at the store, grab a travel size bottle of Purell. When life gets messy, give your hands a squirt, think of Pete and enjoy the feeling of a fresh start wether the mess is gone or not! I promise it'll make you laugh, making the mess not nearly as difficult to handle.
We were driving our way from Las Vegas to the Grand Canyon. I was sitting in the back seat with Uncle Pete and my brother, Christian. Pete sneaked a Twinkie from out of his bag, which sat neatly beside him. It was so terribly hot in the car the insides of the Twinkie began to melt. Within seconds, the once neatly contained cream filled Twinkie seemed to explode and find itself all over Pete. After shoving the Twinkie in his mouth to put a stop to the leakage, he realized there was a BIG mess to clean up. The look of panic he gave when he couldn't find napkins was priceless! Christian and I were in tears, each bent over laughing our stomachs into a cramp fest! Pete ever so casually grabbed his little bottle of Purell and like a pro, gave his hands a squirt. Chrish and I looked at each other and asked "What is he doing?"
Pete went onto mix the Twinkie cream with the Purell as if he had done it before with great success. Pete slapped his hands together and smiled like he just made the Great Wall of China magically disappear. He put the Purell away and gave us kids a thumbs up ( a common gesture he would use when he was content ) I never asked him, but I'm almost sure his hands were sticky for the rest of the drive!!!!
APPLICATION -
Today, the family and I decided to take the dogs out for a festive fall walk in the ever so perfect Celebration Community. We sat down to have lunch and take in the seasonal decor. Misty (my parent's new 8 month old Weimaraner ) enjoyed a long drink of water then tossed her head up in my direction. Before I knew it, I was covered in puppy drool! My drool covered napkin wasn't going to cut it, so Christian handed me a little bottle of Purell. Even though I desperately needed a napkin, I thought of Pete and gave my hands a squirt. I laughed to myself as I vigorously rubbed my hands together. If anything, Pete taught me how to kill bacteria .... not so much clean up a mess ;-)
REFLECTION -
I learned that Purell was my Uncle's Windex. It cleaned up his messes in life and on certain occasions like the one above, it offered a show of humorous entertainment.
Next time you are at the store, grab a travel size bottle of Purell. When life gets messy, give your hands a squirt, think of Pete and enjoy the feeling of a fresh start wether the mess is gone or not! I promise it'll make you laugh, making the mess not nearly as difficult to handle.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Fall is Here - Day 18 of 365
MEMORY -
The moment Peter left this world and entered a new, it was pure beauty. A beauty of surrender, a beauty of peace and a beauty of freedom. The Fall season brings about memories of Pete's final moments.
Weeks after Peter's passing, the tree in the front yard began changing colors. Dozens upon dozens of dead leaves changed their colors and began detaching themselves from life as we know it. How could something so sad be so beautiful? The dying experience is VERY similar to that of fallen leaves. They change their form, they let go and they fall gracefully to the ground, leaving a blanket of beauty for all to enjoy. Peter demonstrated a great deal of beauty last Fall. He detached from his humanly self, let go and gracefully fell into the arms of love.
APPLICATION -
I walked outside today and caught a glance of the tree in the front yard. Flashbacks of last years Fall Season flooded my mind. It was a season of great sadness, remorse and emptiness, until I remembered that swirl of leaves that changed my outlook on death. The most perfect little Fall leaf landed right in front of me. I took it inside, placed it on my desk and decided it was time to send out my Volunteer papers for Hospice. I am ready to experience "Fall" all year long.
REFLECTION -
FALLING leaves is a beautiful thing, but FALLING into the arms of Jesus is beyond any beauty we could ever imagine.
The moment Peter left this world and entered a new, it was pure beauty. A beauty of surrender, a beauty of peace and a beauty of freedom. The Fall season brings about memories of Pete's final moments.
Weeks after Peter's passing, the tree in the front yard began changing colors. Dozens upon dozens of dead leaves changed their colors and began detaching themselves from life as we know it. How could something so sad be so beautiful? The dying experience is VERY similar to that of fallen leaves. They change their form, they let go and they fall gracefully to the ground, leaving a blanket of beauty for all to enjoy. Peter demonstrated a great deal of beauty last Fall. He detached from his humanly self, let go and gracefully fell into the arms of love.
APPLICATION -
I walked outside today and caught a glance of the tree in the front yard. Flashbacks of last years Fall Season flooded my mind. It was a season of great sadness, remorse and emptiness, until I remembered that swirl of leaves that changed my outlook on death. The most perfect little Fall leaf landed right in front of me. I took it inside, placed it on my desk and decided it was time to send out my Volunteer papers for Hospice. I am ready to experience "Fall" all year long.
REFLECTION -
FALLING leaves is a beautiful thing, but FALLING into the arms of Jesus is beyond any beauty we could ever imagine.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Piece of Peace - Day 17 of 365
MEMORY -
Peter had an amazing understanding of life and the necessary energies that keep it running peacefully.
APPLICATION -
I'm at a point where I've run out of energy and need to have my life running peacefully again. Pete and I spoke tonight, and it seems I've got that energy back!
REFLECTION -
Got Peace?
Peter had an amazing understanding of life and the necessary energies that keep it running peacefully.
APPLICATION -
I'm at a point where I've run out of energy and need to have my life running peacefully again. Pete and I spoke tonight, and it seems I've got that energy back!
REFLECTION -
Got Peace?
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Sleep App-nea - Day 16 of 365
THE MEMORY -
A memory of Pete sitting ever so comfortably on the living room recliner popped into focus. Snuggled into the cushions with a blanket across his lap and his IPhone at hand. I remember walking over many of times to ask what he was up too. His response was usually "O Hi Honey, just shopping for some apps, got any good ones lately?" I would grab the seat next to him and proceed with "Well .... let's compare" It was always a good time trying to impress each other with our latest finds. One of his favorites that he introduced me too was "Peggle" He just loved it! We would sit there for hours on end during a lazy weekend day shopping and comparing apps. Two adults, young at heart sitting in each other's company wasting away the day by playing on handheld devices.
THE APPLICATION -
Pete's on my mind every night before I fall asleep, but oddly throughout the night he remained in my head. I had a rough night of sleep, my mind stimulated with missing Pete. My birthday is around the corner, I think that may be why. I had woke up to the sound of my alarm. Why I had it set at 6:30 am, I don't know, but I did. I was exhausted. Sitting up in aggravation, I grabbed the phone, turned off the alarm then tossed it across my bed. I was fidgeting trying to fall back asleep ..... but it just wasn't going to happen. I reached to the edge of the bed too pick up my phone and put it back on the charger. Before connecting it to the wall, I noticed that I had 40 apps that needed to be updated! That reminded me of Pete and the enjoyment he got when he would shop for apps.
So here I am at 6:30 in the morning going on a little $10 shopping spree in the app store in memory of Pete. As I purchased some of the new and noteworthy games, a feeling of sadness overwhelmed me. I said in my heart " I feel you all the time, but I miss seeing you enjoy humanly pleasures" It then dawned on me, that he had his moments of pleasure and Peggle was one of them! After my new purchases were fully downloaded, I immediately clicked on the Peggle game which was hardly a new one. Playing it definitely brought back some good memories of him happily tapping his way to a high score. My feeling of sadness melted away, and so did my restlessness. Was able to fall back asleep with ease knowing that I got my app fix for the both of us!
THE REFLECTION -
It's never to early in the morning to do something that makes you happy! Next time you wake up but can't go back to sleep, make it an excuse to get up and do something good for yourself. Your body might just thank you by letting you fall back asleep!
A memory of Pete sitting ever so comfortably on the living room recliner popped into focus. Snuggled into the cushions with a blanket across his lap and his IPhone at hand. I remember walking over many of times to ask what he was up too. His response was usually "O Hi Honey, just shopping for some apps, got any good ones lately?" I would grab the seat next to him and proceed with "Well .... let's compare" It was always a good time trying to impress each other with our latest finds. One of his favorites that he introduced me too was "Peggle" He just loved it! We would sit there for hours on end during a lazy weekend day shopping and comparing apps. Two adults, young at heart sitting in each other's company wasting away the day by playing on handheld devices.
THE APPLICATION -
Pete's on my mind every night before I fall asleep, but oddly throughout the night he remained in my head. I had a rough night of sleep, my mind stimulated with missing Pete. My birthday is around the corner, I think that may be why. I had woke up to the sound of my alarm. Why I had it set at 6:30 am, I don't know, but I did. I was exhausted. Sitting up in aggravation, I grabbed the phone, turned off the alarm then tossed it across my bed. I was fidgeting trying to fall back asleep ..... but it just wasn't going to happen. I reached to the edge of the bed too pick up my phone and put it back on the charger. Before connecting it to the wall, I noticed that I had 40 apps that needed to be updated! That reminded me of Pete and the enjoyment he got when he would shop for apps.
So here I am at 6:30 in the morning going on a little $10 shopping spree in the app store in memory of Pete. As I purchased some of the new and noteworthy games, a feeling of sadness overwhelmed me. I said in my heart " I feel you all the time, but I miss seeing you enjoy humanly pleasures" It then dawned on me, that he had his moments of pleasure and Peggle was one of them! After my new purchases were fully downloaded, I immediately clicked on the Peggle game which was hardly a new one. Playing it definitely brought back some good memories of him happily tapping his way to a high score. My feeling of sadness melted away, and so did my restlessness. Was able to fall back asleep with ease knowing that I got my app fix for the both of us!
THE REFLECTION -
It's never to early in the morning to do something that makes you happy! Next time you wake up but can't go back to sleep, make it an excuse to get up and do something good for yourself. Your body might just thank you by letting you fall back asleep!
Anger Management - Day 8 of 365 - Oct 5th, 2010
THE MEMORY -
I had a hard day today. Things just seemed complicated and difficult. I thought to myself "what would Pete do?" The only two things that made him mad were the aggravations at work and his computer not working correctly. I remember the days he would come home frustrated. He ripped his I.D off, plopped himself on the couch and in a funny voice yell " I hate my life sucking job" It always made us laugh. Our laughter is what made him forget all the stresses from work and enjoy the family that surrounded him. He would laugh, then we would join in once we saw it wasn't anything serious. The funny thing is that he really had a passion for his job. He loved every moment. Sometimes, we allow our passion to suck the life out of us .... it easy to let happen when we have so much love for what we do. It's definitely a blessing, but making your passion a career can have run it's tolls on any person and Uncle Pete didn't hesitate to let us know!
APPLICATION -
Having just "one of those days" I threw my purse on the table, plopped on the bed and yelled "I hate my life sucking job!!!!" I wasn't even upset about my job, but it felt good for some reason! I got up, grabbed a good read and re focused my mind on something more positive. As each moment passed, I was feeling better and better!
REFLECTION -
Whether its a career, relationship or a high stressed moment in your day ..... Anger Management is key! Take it, say what you need to about it, then move onto something more positive. Sometimes passions get smothered with the every day garbage that builds over time. De-cluttering your passion is a good idea and if yelling "I hate my life sucking job" does the trick ....... then have at it!!! Just refrain from yelling it to your boss!
I had a hard day today. Things just seemed complicated and difficult. I thought to myself "what would Pete do?" The only two things that made him mad were the aggravations at work and his computer not working correctly. I remember the days he would come home frustrated. He ripped his I.D off, plopped himself on the couch and in a funny voice yell " I hate my life sucking job" It always made us laugh. Our laughter is what made him forget all the stresses from work and enjoy the family that surrounded him. He would laugh, then we would join in once we saw it wasn't anything serious. The funny thing is that he really had a passion for his job. He loved every moment. Sometimes, we allow our passion to suck the life out of us .... it easy to let happen when we have so much love for what we do. It's definitely a blessing, but making your passion a career can have run it's tolls on any person and Uncle Pete didn't hesitate to let us know!
APPLICATION -
Having just "one of those days" I threw my purse on the table, plopped on the bed and yelled "I hate my life sucking job!!!!" I wasn't even upset about my job, but it felt good for some reason! I got up, grabbed a good read and re focused my mind on something more positive. As each moment passed, I was feeling better and better!
REFLECTION -
Whether its a career, relationship or a high stressed moment in your day ..... Anger Management is key! Take it, say what you need to about it, then move onto something more positive. Sometimes passions get smothered with the every day garbage that builds over time. De-cluttering your passion is a good idea and if yelling "I hate my life sucking job" does the trick ....... then have at it!!! Just refrain from yelling it to your boss!
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
From Cover to Cover - Day 15 of 365
MEMORY -
Uncle Pete's devotion to books was evident. He worked with them, read them, even had them on his Iphone for portable enjoyment. I was always amazed at how many books he read in his lifetime. He would casually quote masterminds following the title of the book, and was usually caught up with the newly published and stocked. When I was a kid, I remember looking up at his bookshelf and feeling very tiny, similar to the way Alice felt in Wonderland.
APPLICATION -
I haven't finished a book in years. In memory of Uncle Pete, I decided Thursday I would start to read a book that held my interest. Today, during my flight home, I felt a feeling of accomplishment as I turned over my last page and read my final paragraph. I will be volunteering for Hospice soon, so I decided to pick up a book to prepare me for what I am about to witness. It's called "Final Gifts" a book that was both compelling and enlightening. I found myself reliving those last hours with Pete throughout the read. Finishing a book all the way thru not only had me remembering Pete and the story's he read, but also his final moments when he was wrapping up his own.
REFLECTION -
Reading a book, cover to cover feels great ..... but living your life book to book feels even better!
Uncle Pete's devotion to books was evident. He worked with them, read them, even had them on his Iphone for portable enjoyment. I was always amazed at how many books he read in his lifetime. He would casually quote masterminds following the title of the book, and was usually caught up with the newly published and stocked. When I was a kid, I remember looking up at his bookshelf and feeling very tiny, similar to the way Alice felt in Wonderland.
APPLICATION -
I haven't finished a book in years. In memory of Uncle Pete, I decided Thursday I would start to read a book that held my interest. Today, during my flight home, I felt a feeling of accomplishment as I turned over my last page and read my final paragraph. I will be volunteering for Hospice soon, so I decided to pick up a book to prepare me for what I am about to witness. It's called "Final Gifts" a book that was both compelling and enlightening. I found myself reliving those last hours with Pete throughout the read. Finishing a book all the way thru not only had me remembering Pete and the story's he read, but also his final moments when he was wrapping up his own.
REFLECTION -
Reading a book, cover to cover feels great ..... but living your life book to book feels even better!
Monday, October 11, 2010
Honk Happy - Day 14 of 365
MEMORY -
Peter use to do the weirdest of things. He was randomly funny all the time! I remember him being in the car and honking the horn. He wasn't honking to get the attention of poor drivers on the road, just honked because it felt good. I would always crunch over in embarrassment, hiding my head between my legs. He would laugh and yell "What??????, it's just a little honk, it makes me happy", then would repeat the honk again until I began to take pleasure in his moment of honking delight.
APPLICATION -
Today was spent having good times with good friends. I was shocked when my friend, Alan began honking the horn in random sound patterns. Short honks, long ones and then of course, the one that kept going thru about 2 traffic lights! Alan said he was doing it because he was happy! I instantly felt Pete's presence. In honor of Pete, I cheered Alan on as he continued to show the world his moment of happiness.
REFLECTION -
If you can honk at a car that states "Just Married" while giving a friendly wave of congrats, theres no reason why you can't celebrate your own marriage to happiness. Next time you are in the car feeling a moment of pure joy, don't hesitate to get a little honk happy!
Peter use to do the weirdest of things. He was randomly funny all the time! I remember him being in the car and honking the horn. He wasn't honking to get the attention of poor drivers on the road, just honked because it felt good. I would always crunch over in embarrassment, hiding my head between my legs. He would laugh and yell "What??????, it's just a little honk, it makes me happy", then would repeat the honk again until I began to take pleasure in his moment of honking delight.
APPLICATION -
Today was spent having good times with good friends. I was shocked when my friend, Alan began honking the horn in random sound patterns. Short honks, long ones and then of course, the one that kept going thru about 2 traffic lights! Alan said he was doing it because he was happy! I instantly felt Pete's presence. In honor of Pete, I cheered Alan on as he continued to show the world his moment of happiness.
REFLECTION -
If you can honk at a car that states "Just Married" while giving a friendly wave of congrats, theres no reason why you can't celebrate your own marriage to happiness. Next time you are in the car feeling a moment of pure joy, don't hesitate to get a little honk happy!
Support A Passion - Day 13 of 365
Yesterday was my first day that I was unable to write a post. My day was loaded with work and just couldn't find a quiet moment to write before falling asleep. I felt a large void in my day for the first time since I've begun this blog. I allowed myself too get tangled up in the demands of my job, something that happens way to often to way to many people. While writing this blog, I have noticed that my days are more meaningful. Without having the moment to remember and reflect, I seemed to have lost that sense of inner peace. Today I catch up by reflecting on yesterday. Sorry it's late, better late than never.
MEMORY -
My dancing career wouldn't be what it is today without the gift of dance. Yes, I believe I was born with some natural talent, BUT without Uncle Pete's help, my dream to be the best dancer I can be would have never come true! As I taught dance throughout the day, an act of support kept popping into my head.
As a little girl, I spent hours among hours twirling around the house. I would blast the best of Michael Jackson and perform in front of an audience of stuffed animals. Mom and Dad quickly took notice to my passion for dance and immediately enrolled me into dance classes. They couldn't have done it without Uncle Pete. Classes at this particular studio were pricey and my parents at the time couldn't afford the tuition. Uncle Pete wouldn't let me go without classes and picked up the tab. A gift that kept on giving well into my adult years. Not only did he lend some financial assistance, but also supported me fully by attending every dance recital and ballet exam.
A few days before he passed, I was on the road for work. My last conversation with him was over the phone and consisted of only a few words. Due to his condition, it was hard for him to talk but strived to communicate to his best ability. I remember wanting to tell him so much, but I knew just moments with him on the phone was more activity than he could handle. He was growing weaker by the hour and I had to keep it short. There was one thing I had never told him and it seemed to be my last chance. Breaking into tears I stated " Uncle Pete, I just wanted to thank you for all the years of dance lessons you gave me. I am coming home soon, I love you" I heard soft emotion from the other end in a broken voice " Awwww, you don't have to thank me, I love you too"
Later the next day, mom told me that after Pete and I spoke, he handed the phone to her, looked up and said "She thanked me for her dance lessons" as he let out a small grin. She said that he lit up and seemed touched that I would remember something from so long ago.
APPLICATION -
Uncle Pete took interest in what I did by helping with finances and being in the audience, front and center at every performance. Throughout the weekend, I had referred some of my students to book some lessons with other fellow dance instructors at the event. I took it upon myself to sit in on their lessons and show an interest beyond what I normally demonstrate. It felt great to see them expand their dance knowledge by receiving new perspectives on the dance.
REFLECTION -
Supporting someone's passion is a powerful act of love that is never forgotten. You never know who's life you might be changing while doing so!
MEMORY -
My dancing career wouldn't be what it is today without the gift of dance. Yes, I believe I was born with some natural talent, BUT without Uncle Pete's help, my dream to be the best dancer I can be would have never come true! As I taught dance throughout the day, an act of support kept popping into my head.
As a little girl, I spent hours among hours twirling around the house. I would blast the best of Michael Jackson and perform in front of an audience of stuffed animals. Mom and Dad quickly took notice to my passion for dance and immediately enrolled me into dance classes. They couldn't have done it without Uncle Pete. Classes at this particular studio were pricey and my parents at the time couldn't afford the tuition. Uncle Pete wouldn't let me go without classes and picked up the tab. A gift that kept on giving well into my adult years. Not only did he lend some financial assistance, but also supported me fully by attending every dance recital and ballet exam.
A few days before he passed, I was on the road for work. My last conversation with him was over the phone and consisted of only a few words. Due to his condition, it was hard for him to talk but strived to communicate to his best ability. I remember wanting to tell him so much, but I knew just moments with him on the phone was more activity than he could handle. He was growing weaker by the hour and I had to keep it short. There was one thing I had never told him and it seemed to be my last chance. Breaking into tears I stated " Uncle Pete, I just wanted to thank you for all the years of dance lessons you gave me. I am coming home soon, I love you" I heard soft emotion from the other end in a broken voice " Awwww, you don't have to thank me, I love you too"
Later the next day, mom told me that after Pete and I spoke, he handed the phone to her, looked up and said "She thanked me for her dance lessons" as he let out a small grin. She said that he lit up and seemed touched that I would remember something from so long ago.
APPLICATION -
Uncle Pete took interest in what I did by helping with finances and being in the audience, front and center at every performance. Throughout the weekend, I had referred some of my students to book some lessons with other fellow dance instructors at the event. I took it upon myself to sit in on their lessons and show an interest beyond what I normally demonstrate. It felt great to see them expand their dance knowledge by receiving new perspectives on the dance.
REFLECTION -
Supporting someone's passion is a powerful act of love that is never forgotten. You never know who's life you might be changing while doing so!
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Short and Sweet - Day 12 out of 365
MEMORY -
Uncle Pete's Spirit. Just hours before his passing, I remember sitting beside him, caressing his forehead and whispering in his ear "I am looking forward to talking with you when you are on the other side"
APPLICATION -
His spirit touched my heart today while sitting peacefully by a lake .... it was familiarly comforting and full of love.
REFLECTION -
Love a spirit and learn how to feel it.
Uncle Pete's Spirit. Just hours before his passing, I remember sitting beside him, caressing his forehead and whispering in his ear "I am looking forward to talking with you when you are on the other side"
APPLICATION -
His spirit touched my heart today while sitting peacefully by a lake .... it was familiarly comforting and full of love.
REFLECTION -
Love a spirit and learn how to feel it.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Slot Machine Blues - Day 11 of 365
MEMORY -
This afternoon, while I was checking into my hotel, something about the lobby reminded me about the Venetian in Las Vegas. I think it was the colors. The Venetian was Uncle Pete's favorite hotel on the strip. Must have been his Italian background.
A few years ago, the family took a vacation to Las Vegas. We stayed at Cesar's Palace and had a complete blast. I remember giving myself a cash limit to play with on the slots. Within no time, my little gambling fund was gone! I couldn't believe how quickly I lost that money. I don't even remember much detail other than the exciting "ding ding ding" noises and select swear words that were said under my breath. Since I gave myself a limit, there would be no dipping back into the wallet for more. I remember clearly how bummed I was about losing that cash so quickly. I told Uncle Pete "Do you know what I could have done with that money on a Jenny and Uncle Pete shopping trip?" He laughed my comment off and said "But did you have fun?" I responded with "Not really .... I swore the whole time ..... don't think that was having much fun" He laughed again and slid me $20. He leaned in and said "This time, have fun"
I went on my merry way determined to not loose it this time. Within 20 mins, it was all gone! At dinner he asked me if I had a good time, I said "I lost it all AGAIN!" Just now I realize I never answered his question about having a good time. After dinner he slid me another $20 bill. He then said "take it and this time don't worry about losing it, just have fun in the process, it's all a gamble" I really didn't understand why he was wasting his money on me. I shook my head and denied the bill. He pushed it toward me and gave me a wink. I took it and lost it quickly ..... big surprise! Being the sore looser that I was, I ran up to him and said "I am never playing slots again!" He laughed again, ordered us a drink and led me to a slot machine. He said "Let's play together" I remember having so much fun!
He would pull the lever with great power and wait for lines of pictures to click in the winning position. Every time I lost, he would tell me in a funny voice "Who da looser? You da looser!" The more he drank, the funnier he began to sound! I laughed with great loudness and realized ..... I was having fun. I was loosing money, but having a blast! Pete showed me that loosing doesn't always have to be a bad thing. He was poking fun at the fact and it totally lightened things up. After our glasses were empty and wallet's cleaned out, we got up and agreed to not gamble anymore the rest of the trip yet go shopping instead. We both spent money but did NOT lose it. We spent it on something completely priceless. A fun time, with a good friend ..... mission accomplished! Who knew losing money could end up being a good time!
APPLICATION -
Today I paid some entry fees for various dance competitions. Don't know what the outcome will be, but I look forward to being out on the floor and getting my moneys worth!
REFLECTION -
Every day, life presents it's opportunities too gamble. In relationships, in the work place, in a casino, almost everywhere! Enjoy the anticipation of the unknown and do so with a good friend by your side. No matter how much you lose, you will always be a winner to the person sitting next to you!
This afternoon, while I was checking into my hotel, something about the lobby reminded me about the Venetian in Las Vegas. I think it was the colors. The Venetian was Uncle Pete's favorite hotel on the strip. Must have been his Italian background.
A few years ago, the family took a vacation to Las Vegas. We stayed at Cesar's Palace and had a complete blast. I remember giving myself a cash limit to play with on the slots. Within no time, my little gambling fund was gone! I couldn't believe how quickly I lost that money. I don't even remember much detail other than the exciting "ding ding ding" noises and select swear words that were said under my breath. Since I gave myself a limit, there would be no dipping back into the wallet for more. I remember clearly how bummed I was about losing that cash so quickly. I told Uncle Pete "Do you know what I could have done with that money on a Jenny and Uncle Pete shopping trip?" He laughed my comment off and said "But did you have fun?" I responded with "Not really .... I swore the whole time ..... don't think that was having much fun" He laughed again and slid me $20. He leaned in and said "This time, have fun"
I went on my merry way determined to not loose it this time. Within 20 mins, it was all gone! At dinner he asked me if I had a good time, I said "I lost it all AGAIN!" Just now I realize I never answered his question about having a good time. After dinner he slid me another $20 bill. He then said "take it and this time don't worry about losing it, just have fun in the process, it's all a gamble" I really didn't understand why he was wasting his money on me. I shook my head and denied the bill. He pushed it toward me and gave me a wink. I took it and lost it quickly ..... big surprise! Being the sore looser that I was, I ran up to him and said "I am never playing slots again!" He laughed again, ordered us a drink and led me to a slot machine. He said "Let's play together" I remember having so much fun!
He would pull the lever with great power and wait for lines of pictures to click in the winning position. Every time I lost, he would tell me in a funny voice "Who da looser? You da looser!" The more he drank, the funnier he began to sound! I laughed with great loudness and realized ..... I was having fun. I was loosing money, but having a blast! Pete showed me that loosing doesn't always have to be a bad thing. He was poking fun at the fact and it totally lightened things up. After our glasses were empty and wallet's cleaned out, we got up and agreed to not gamble anymore the rest of the trip yet go shopping instead. We both spent money but did NOT lose it. We spent it on something completely priceless. A fun time, with a good friend ..... mission accomplished! Who knew losing money could end up being a good time!
APPLICATION -
Today I paid some entry fees for various dance competitions. Don't know what the outcome will be, but I look forward to being out on the floor and getting my moneys worth!
REFLECTION -
Every day, life presents it's opportunities too gamble. In relationships, in the work place, in a casino, almost everywhere! Enjoy the anticipation of the unknown and do so with a good friend by your side. No matter how much you lose, you will always be a winner to the person sitting next to you!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Selfless Conversation - Day 10 of 365
MEMORY -
Again, I was on a plane, headed out for work. I found myself sleep walking my way through the airport and onto my 5:30 flight. I threw my carry on up above and turned to look for my isle. I was surprised to find it already occupied with a middle aged man who seemed quite cozy in my spot. The lady next to him pointed to his seat across the isle that was noted on his ticket. He apologized, as I kindly thanked the lady for taking care of the matter. I was seated by the window, her in the isle. At this point, all I wanted to do was put my blindfold on and knock out. As I attempted this simple task, I noticed she was talking randomly about her husband and their travels. It was all very interesting, but I simply couldn't focus in on her story. I took a sip of water and readjusted myself in my chair trying to shake off the sleep funk that had invaded my body. I didn't want to be rude, she was quite nice and very passionate about her story. With this challenge at hand, I began to think of Pete and what a good listener he was.
I remembered about 6 months before he passed (when we weren't yet aware of his terminal illness) we went out for a breakfast date. I took him to a nice Mom and Pop place he had never been to before. I was going through some challenges with work and needed to vent. I had begun to notice how his plate gradually became cleaner and cleaner, while mine remained full and was getting colder and colder. He didn't say much during MY talk and was able to finish his breakfast. When I was done with my vent session, I picked up my fork and began to eat my breakfast. While I was eating, he found his moment to talk. He began with " I am so proud of you" " You do what you love for a living and that's just great!" He continued on with stating "Grandma would be so proud" By the time I was done with my breakfast, I think they began serving lunch! Uncle Pete didn't just listen well , but spoke when he clearly noticed I was done. There is something to be said about "selfless conversation" He allowed me speak, then spoke words of pure affirmation when the time was right. He never interrupted, hardly lost eye contact and didn't get distracted. I needed a good listener and it looked like I had came to the right place.
APPLICATION -
For the next 45 mins of this kind lady's story, I practiced at the sleepiest state, a "selfless conversation" such as Pete did so many times with me. I let her do the talking, sat back and told myself "Maybe there is something to learn from this" When she was done with the story, I didn't take anything from it, only the fact that she needed to talk more than I needed to sleep. She was going through many changes in her life and was very excited about the 3 year retirement plan she had with her husband. She had a passion for singing and taught a small group of children weekly at her home. She spoke about politics for a bit then changed the subject to travel. By the end of the conversation, I noticed I hardly said 2 words. She ended her story by saying " You poor thing, go to sleep, I'm going to watch a movie" With that said, I grabbed my blindfold and headed off into a deep sleep.
I woke up feeling temporarily refreshed. It felt good to have practiced "Selfless Conversation" with a total stranger. I feel it strengthened a communication skill I needed so badly to practice. If I become just half the listener that Pete was, I'll feel confident I can give my loved ones what they need in a time of hardship. Active listening .... who would have thought?
REFLECTION -
Sometimes people just need to talk. Next time a friend or family member listens to you in a time of need, thank them and remind them that you are there for them to return the favor. Sometimes, it's the best gift you can give someone, loved one or not
Again, I was on a plane, headed out for work. I found myself sleep walking my way through the airport and onto my 5:30 flight. I threw my carry on up above and turned to look for my isle. I was surprised to find it already occupied with a middle aged man who seemed quite cozy in my spot. The lady next to him pointed to his seat across the isle that was noted on his ticket. He apologized, as I kindly thanked the lady for taking care of the matter. I was seated by the window, her in the isle. At this point, all I wanted to do was put my blindfold on and knock out. As I attempted this simple task, I noticed she was talking randomly about her husband and their travels. It was all very interesting, but I simply couldn't focus in on her story. I took a sip of water and readjusted myself in my chair trying to shake off the sleep funk that had invaded my body. I didn't want to be rude, she was quite nice and very passionate about her story. With this challenge at hand, I began to think of Pete and what a good listener he was.
I remembered about 6 months before he passed (when we weren't yet aware of his terminal illness) we went out for a breakfast date. I took him to a nice Mom and Pop place he had never been to before. I was going through some challenges with work and needed to vent. I had begun to notice how his plate gradually became cleaner and cleaner, while mine remained full and was getting colder and colder. He didn't say much during MY talk and was able to finish his breakfast. When I was done with my vent session, I picked up my fork and began to eat my breakfast. While I was eating, he found his moment to talk. He began with " I am so proud of you" " You do what you love for a living and that's just great!" He continued on with stating "Grandma would be so proud" By the time I was done with my breakfast, I think they began serving lunch! Uncle Pete didn't just listen well , but spoke when he clearly noticed I was done. There is something to be said about "selfless conversation" He allowed me speak, then spoke words of pure affirmation when the time was right. He never interrupted, hardly lost eye contact and didn't get distracted. I needed a good listener and it looked like I had came to the right place.
APPLICATION -
For the next 45 mins of this kind lady's story, I practiced at the sleepiest state, a "selfless conversation" such as Pete did so many times with me. I let her do the talking, sat back and told myself "Maybe there is something to learn from this" When she was done with the story, I didn't take anything from it, only the fact that she needed to talk more than I needed to sleep. She was going through many changes in her life and was very excited about the 3 year retirement plan she had with her husband. She had a passion for singing and taught a small group of children weekly at her home. She spoke about politics for a bit then changed the subject to travel. By the end of the conversation, I noticed I hardly said 2 words. She ended her story by saying " You poor thing, go to sleep, I'm going to watch a movie" With that said, I grabbed my blindfold and headed off into a deep sleep.
I woke up feeling temporarily refreshed. It felt good to have practiced "Selfless Conversation" with a total stranger. I feel it strengthened a communication skill I needed so badly to practice. If I become just half the listener that Pete was, I'll feel confident I can give my loved ones what they need in a time of hardship. Active listening .... who would have thought?
REFLECTION -
Sometimes people just need to talk. Next time a friend or family member listens to you in a time of need, thank them and remind them that you are there for them to return the favor. Sometimes, it's the best gift you can give someone, loved one or not
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Facebook Finding - Day 9 of 365
MEMORY -
I remember how up-to-date Uncle Peter was with the progress of technology. He was always the one to inform our family about the latest creations from Apple.
This morning, I was unable to sleep so I started to roam around Facebook. While on an aimless search for sleep, I spotted his picture icon in the "friends" box. It was weird knowing that he wasn't going to be using his account anymore and no one seemed to cancel it. If I were to message him, no response would be sent back. I clicked on his picture .... did everything I could to keep from crying. As his page opened, I found some wall conversations from 2008. I remember being the one who introduce him to the Facebook app. As I went through his pictures and messages, I began to cry. Tears rolled down my face and onto my pillow. Facebook .... it was an organized way of communication that allowed for quick messages, on the spot chat and live news feed. Everything he loved all rolled into one! He simply loved it!
As I wiped away my tears of loneliness, I found myself feeling more and more distant from him. A type of communication that I will never get to experience with him again. Just as these feelings of sadness came rushing abroad, I found an old message posted to my wall shortly after he bought the Facebook app. It was labeled Dec 30, 2008 @ 8:02pm from Peter DeLuca. It stated ..... "Now you can never get away from me" I smiled as I felt my body flushed with goosebumps. I sat there trying to recall this message, but I couldn't remember reading this before. I am sure it was written for the intent to be read Dec 30th, but I found it over a year later and made more impact tonight, than I am sure it was ever intended too. The statement he wrote not only works in the earthly sense, but spiritual as well. I felt like Uncle Pete sent me a little message of reassurance. His spirit is more with me now than it ever was before. It also comforts me to know that I now own the phone most of those messages were sent from.
APPLICATION -
I went onto his Facebook wall and posted "Loving you more and more each day" which was followed with my blog dedication link created in his honor. I know he will never click the "view message" button, but I'm confident his spirit felt my gesture of love. I closed my eyes and said in my heart " Now YOU can never get away from ME" and smiled big. I felt that my aimless search for sleep was coming to an end.
REFLECTION -
Just because our loved ones are not here in body, doesn't mean they are not with us in spirit. While on earth, make it a point to look beyond the physical and into ones soul. When the body has done it's job being a carrier of our spirit, the spirit will shed it's temporary home and begin a new life as it's new self. It's how we will recognize each other without the familiarity of a humanly body once we are reunited in Heaven (well that's at least my beliefs). The better you know ones spirit now, the better you will be able to feel their presence when they pass. Pete's spirit is very strong and is felt many times throughout my day. I am fortunate to have been able to get to know his spirit while he was on earth, I don't know what I would do if I didn't feel him day to day. Just remember, Prayer is the telephone line to Heaven. There are NO hidden costs and absolutely NO dropped calls!
I remember how up-to-date Uncle Peter was with the progress of technology. He was always the one to inform our family about the latest creations from Apple.
This morning, I was unable to sleep so I started to roam around Facebook. While on an aimless search for sleep, I spotted his picture icon in the "friends" box. It was weird knowing that he wasn't going to be using his account anymore and no one seemed to cancel it. If I were to message him, no response would be sent back. I clicked on his picture .... did everything I could to keep from crying. As his page opened, I found some wall conversations from 2008. I remember being the one who introduce him to the Facebook app. As I went through his pictures and messages, I began to cry. Tears rolled down my face and onto my pillow. Facebook .... it was an organized way of communication that allowed for quick messages, on the spot chat and live news feed. Everything he loved all rolled into one! He simply loved it!
As I wiped away my tears of loneliness, I found myself feeling more and more distant from him. A type of communication that I will never get to experience with him again. Just as these feelings of sadness came rushing abroad, I found an old message posted to my wall shortly after he bought the Facebook app. It was labeled Dec 30, 2008 @ 8:02pm from Peter DeLuca. It stated ..... "Now you can never get away from me" I smiled as I felt my body flushed with goosebumps. I sat there trying to recall this message, but I couldn't remember reading this before. I am sure it was written for the intent to be read Dec 30th, but I found it over a year later and made more impact tonight, than I am sure it was ever intended too. The statement he wrote not only works in the earthly sense, but spiritual as well. I felt like Uncle Pete sent me a little message of reassurance. His spirit is more with me now than it ever was before. It also comforts me to know that I now own the phone most of those messages were sent from.
APPLICATION -
I went onto his Facebook wall and posted "Loving you more and more each day" which was followed with my blog dedication link created in his honor. I know he will never click the "view message" button, but I'm confident his spirit felt my gesture of love. I closed my eyes and said in my heart " Now YOU can never get away from ME" and smiled big. I felt that my aimless search for sleep was coming to an end.
REFLECTION -
Just because our loved ones are not here in body, doesn't mean they are not with us in spirit. While on earth, make it a point to look beyond the physical and into ones soul. When the body has done it's job being a carrier of our spirit, the spirit will shed it's temporary home and begin a new life as it's new self. It's how we will recognize each other without the familiarity of a humanly body once we are reunited in Heaven (well that's at least my beliefs). The better you know ones spirit now, the better you will be able to feel their presence when they pass. Pete's spirit is very strong and is felt many times throughout my day. I am fortunate to have been able to get to know his spirit while he was on earth, I don't know what I would do if I didn't feel him day to day. Just remember, Prayer is the telephone line to Heaven. There are NO hidden costs and absolutely NO dropped calls!
Monday, October 4, 2010
"Jenny and Uncle Pete ......" Day 7 of 365
MEMORY -
Being the niece of Uncle Pete didn't come without some spoiling! I remember as a kid, Uncle Pete taking me to the mall for mini shopping sprees. Yah ..... if you didn't figure it out, I'm the one who got spoiled! We would walk into a store ( I ran, he did the walking ) I would fall in love with a toy in the front of the store, go to the far back, and find something else that tickled my fancy. I would stand there with big puppy eyes, pout my bottom lip and say with a sweet little voice " But Uncle Pete .... I like them both"He would laugh, pick me up and say "Anything for my Jenny"while whisking me and my new treasures up to the register.
I can only remember maybe one or two items Peter had bought for me over the years. There was one gift I will never forget. His SONGS! Pete liked to create his own songs while going about his days. One of his famous ones (within our family) was titled "Jenny and Uncle Pete" It was our shopping song. Went a little something like this ...... "Jenny and Uncle Pete ..... standing on our feet, and we're walking walking tall ..... in the Florida, the Florida ...... Maaaalllllll" It still makes me laugh to think of all the crazy variations we created together.
Mom and Dad didn't like all the spoiling Pete did, but he never stopped. As I grew older toys turned into clothes, clothes turned into makeup and makeup into money. As I began to make my own income, he would spoil me in other ways. The shopping sprees started to fade out but the spoiling NEVER ended. As an adult, I was spoiled with his stories, his meals and his laughter. It was nice to reverse the favor and take him out once in a while. Loved Christmas time, I would always go a little over the top when it came to shopping for Pete. We both knew "things" weren't a sign of affection, it was the reaction of the receiver that we both loved to see.
APPLICATION -
I headed out to the mall to pick up a pair of pants I so desperately needed. When I go to the mall for things I NEED ..... it's just not the same as when you go for things you WANT. On the way there, I drove past the Sears entrance that Pete and I use to enter through. In the past 5 years, they have renovated the mall and built on an entire new side. It became my new parking spot every trip to the mall so I hadn't really payed much attention to the Sears parking lot ..... until today. I parked, turned the ignition off, and sat there for a moment in the quiet. Memories of the mall days with my Uncle came to mind.
While on my hunt for the perfect pair of pants, I found myself humming OUR song "Jenny and Uncle Pete" as I passed all of his favorite stores. It brought me comfort in knowing that some things will never change. Our stores were all still open and doing well. There I was .... Pete's shopping buddy, walking from the front to the back of stores, purchasing makeup and clothing while happily singing our song! I think I even thought to myself in one store " But I like them both!" at which point I took out my wallet, handed them the money and walked out with a bit more than just a pair of pants! I'm sure Pete's spirit was glowing with laughter!
REFLECTION -
Kids grow up with enough rules and regulations. If you're an Aunt or Uncle, Grandma or Grandpa, Take the kids out once in a while, spoil them rotten, then hand em back to their parents! Make the trip special by including them into making it a unique experience. As they are shaped into adults, they will remember those details which made your time together so amazing. There are some things an Uncle and Niece are able to get away with ...... shopping sprees and custom created songs!
Being the niece of Uncle Pete didn't come without some spoiling! I remember as a kid, Uncle Pete taking me to the mall for mini shopping sprees. Yah ..... if you didn't figure it out, I'm the one who got spoiled! We would walk into a store ( I ran, he did the walking ) I would fall in love with a toy in the front of the store, go to the far back, and find something else that tickled my fancy. I would stand there with big puppy eyes, pout my bottom lip and say with a sweet little voice " But Uncle Pete .... I like them both"He would laugh, pick me up and say "Anything for my Jenny"while whisking me and my new treasures up to the register.
I can only remember maybe one or two items Peter had bought for me over the years. There was one gift I will never forget. His SONGS! Pete liked to create his own songs while going about his days. One of his famous ones (within our family) was titled "Jenny and Uncle Pete" It was our shopping song. Went a little something like this ...... "Jenny and Uncle Pete ..... standing on our feet, and we're walking walking tall ..... in the Florida, the Florida ...... Maaaalllllll" It still makes me laugh to think of all the crazy variations we created together.
Mom and Dad didn't like all the spoiling Pete did, but he never stopped. As I grew older toys turned into clothes, clothes turned into makeup and makeup into money. As I began to make my own income, he would spoil me in other ways. The shopping sprees started to fade out but the spoiling NEVER ended. As an adult, I was spoiled with his stories, his meals and his laughter. It was nice to reverse the favor and take him out once in a while. Loved Christmas time, I would always go a little over the top when it came to shopping for Pete. We both knew "things" weren't a sign of affection, it was the reaction of the receiver that we both loved to see.
APPLICATION -
I headed out to the mall to pick up a pair of pants I so desperately needed. When I go to the mall for things I NEED ..... it's just not the same as when you go for things you WANT. On the way there, I drove past the Sears entrance that Pete and I use to enter through. In the past 5 years, they have renovated the mall and built on an entire new side. It became my new parking spot every trip to the mall so I hadn't really payed much attention to the Sears parking lot ..... until today. I parked, turned the ignition off, and sat there for a moment in the quiet. Memories of the mall days with my Uncle came to mind.
While on my hunt for the perfect pair of pants, I found myself humming OUR song "Jenny and Uncle Pete" as I passed all of his favorite stores. It brought me comfort in knowing that some things will never change. Our stores were all still open and doing well. There I was .... Pete's shopping buddy, walking from the front to the back of stores, purchasing makeup and clothing while happily singing our song! I think I even thought to myself in one store " But I like them both!" at which point I took out my wallet, handed them the money and walked out with a bit more than just a pair of pants! I'm sure Pete's spirit was glowing with laughter!
REFLECTION -
Kids grow up with enough rules and regulations. If you're an Aunt or Uncle, Grandma or Grandpa, Take the kids out once in a while, spoil them rotten, then hand em back to their parents! Make the trip special by including them into making it a unique experience. As they are shaped into adults, they will remember those details which made your time together so amazing. There are some things an Uncle and Niece are able to get away with ...... shopping sprees and custom created songs!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Piece of Cake - Day 6 of 365
MEMORY -
Sunday. The one day of the week the family would come together for a nice Italian meal. Every Sunday, we could count on Uncle Pete to transform the kitchen into an Italian eatery. He would always call to verify Erik and I were joining them. Today, I thought of Pete as my mom invited Erik and I over for a Sunday serving of Spaghetti and Meatballs. We haven't had that dish in that house since he made his last serving. She did her best to try to match Pete's ...... and it came pretty darn close. The main meal was great, but the dessert was better. Better, not because of taste, but because of volume!
Mom always made sure us kids ate healthy. Uncle Pete would ALWAYS bring a BIG dessert to the table and I think it drove her nuts. It was usually a rich chocolate cake .... one of which, was way too large for us to finish. He always went over the top when it came to dessert time. I was shocked after dinner tonight when Mom brought out a chocolate molten cake! I thought to myself "Where's the watermelon?" I guess it couldn't be Pete's Sunday dinner without going BIG and doing it right! We all laughed as we shared stories of Pete over a cake that was clearly way to much for our DeLuca party of 5.
APPLICATION -
I took my time and enjoyed the cake, one sinful calorie at a time. I was proud of Mom for staying true to the details of Pete's dinner. As much as I knew she'd prefer to serve fruit, she served what Peter would have wanted for us on a Sunday after a delicious Italian meal. I guess you can say "We got to have our cake and eat it too!" I know Pete was smiling down on us this evening. He may not be able to enjoy earthly pleasures anymore like we did tonight ...... but I can guarantee, his soul is bursting with sweetness we can't even begin to compare to that of a chocolate cake.
REFLECTION -
When cooking a loved ones meal, do it the way that THEY would do it. Try your best to not miss any of the details. It will make it that much more yummy for both the stomach and the soul!
Sunday. The one day of the week the family would come together for a nice Italian meal. Every Sunday, we could count on Uncle Pete to transform the kitchen into an Italian eatery. He would always call to verify Erik and I were joining them. Today, I thought of Pete as my mom invited Erik and I over for a Sunday serving of Spaghetti and Meatballs. We haven't had that dish in that house since he made his last serving. She did her best to try to match Pete's ...... and it came pretty darn close. The main meal was great, but the dessert was better. Better, not because of taste, but because of volume!
Mom always made sure us kids ate healthy. Uncle Pete would ALWAYS bring a BIG dessert to the table and I think it drove her nuts. It was usually a rich chocolate cake .... one of which, was way too large for us to finish. He always went over the top when it came to dessert time. I was shocked after dinner tonight when Mom brought out a chocolate molten cake! I thought to myself "Where's the watermelon?" I guess it couldn't be Pete's Sunday dinner without going BIG and doing it right! We all laughed as we shared stories of Pete over a cake that was clearly way to much for our DeLuca party of 5.
APPLICATION -
I took my time and enjoyed the cake, one sinful calorie at a time. I was proud of Mom for staying true to the details of Pete's dinner. As much as I knew she'd prefer to serve fruit, she served what Peter would have wanted for us on a Sunday after a delicious Italian meal. I guess you can say "We got to have our cake and eat it too!" I know Pete was smiling down on us this evening. He may not be able to enjoy earthly pleasures anymore like we did tonight ...... but I can guarantee, his soul is bursting with sweetness we can't even begin to compare to that of a chocolate cake.
REFLECTION -
When cooking a loved ones meal, do it the way that THEY would do it. Try your best to not miss any of the details. It will make it that much more yummy for both the stomach and the soul!
Saturday, October 2, 2010
A Heart Of Gold - Day 5 of 365
MEMORY:
After Pete's passing I remember my mom asking me " Do you want a charm that holds Pete's ashes?" A little disturbed, I replied with "Yes..... of course". The charm which held a small amount of his ashes was made of Gold and beautifully put together. My maid of honor (Sister in Christ) had given me a gold chain to string this precious charm upon. About a week after his passing, I took the necklace off, placed it in a safe place and left it to sit. In the meantime, I would drape my neck with costume jewelry of pearls and rhinestones. If it completed an outfit ..... I wore it! How sad that I let materialistic things get in the way of something so sacred. Here's the difference .... end of day ... threw my costume jewelry off, washed my face, brushed my teeth and called it a night. The end of the day with Pete's jewelry, I would wash my face, brush my teeth, go to my bed ... remove my necklace and say a prayer. That in itself filled my day with intent.
When I began this blog, I made a commitment to myself to wear Pete's charm for the next 365 days. It would be a daily reminder to think of what's really important in life. I found myself throughout the day holding the heart. Times were I felt down or simply missing Pete. My Uncle had a heart of gold, which is why a charm of gold was so perfect. Wearing this particular piece of jewelry wasn't out of vanity, it was simply out of honor. It's a daily reminder that living life thru a heart of gold is the only way to live.
APPLICATION -
Commitment to wear his charm throughout the next 365 days ..... Pete had a heart of gold. Comforts me to know that a humanly part of him is with me at all times .... makes me feel that I'm taking care of what he left behind.
REFLECTION -
No matter what the style, if something means the world to you, wear it with pride and wear it proud!!!!!
After Pete's passing I remember my mom asking me " Do you want a charm that holds Pete's ashes?" A little disturbed, I replied with "Yes..... of course". The charm which held a small amount of his ashes was made of Gold and beautifully put together. My maid of honor (Sister in Christ) had given me a gold chain to string this precious charm upon. About a week after his passing, I took the necklace off, placed it in a safe place and left it to sit. In the meantime, I would drape my neck with costume jewelry of pearls and rhinestones. If it completed an outfit ..... I wore it! How sad that I let materialistic things get in the way of something so sacred. Here's the difference .... end of day ... threw my costume jewelry off, washed my face, brushed my teeth and called it a night. The end of the day with Pete's jewelry, I would wash my face, brush my teeth, go to my bed ... remove my necklace and say a prayer. That in itself filled my day with intent.
When I began this blog, I made a commitment to myself to wear Pete's charm for the next 365 days. It would be a daily reminder to think of what's really important in life. I found myself throughout the day holding the heart. Times were I felt down or simply missing Pete. My Uncle had a heart of gold, which is why a charm of gold was so perfect. Wearing this particular piece of jewelry wasn't out of vanity, it was simply out of honor. It's a daily reminder that living life thru a heart of gold is the only way to live.
APPLICATION -
Commitment to wear his charm throughout the next 365 days ..... Pete had a heart of gold. Comforts me to know that a humanly part of him is with me at all times .... makes me feel that I'm taking care of what he left behind.
REFLECTION -
No matter what the style, if something means the world to you, wear it with pride and wear it proud!!!!!
Friday, October 1, 2010
Brave The Unknown - Day 4 of 365
THE MEMORY:
One of my intentions with this blog was to choose a fond memory of Pete everyday, meditate on it, apply it to my daily life and then journal my discoveries. Well ..... my plan seems to be working in reverse. Things happen in my day that bring up memories of Pete, vs me just picking out memories from my head and applying them to my day. Not what I had planned, but totally what's happening.
Like today ...... Mom called and told me that her job sent her on a business meeting with a Hospice company. The same company that watched over Uncle Pete during his last days here on earth. That triggered memories of Pete. Thru Hospice, he was able to pass on with dignity and comfort. They were truly angels. It was a complete eye opening experience for the entire family.
I understand for most, this is a very sad subject to speak about. Pete's "moment" of passing, was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. Before this VERY intimate experience, I was totally freaked out by death. The days leading up to it were the worse. The fear of the unknown kept our family in a Twilight Zone of uncertainty. There were nights we could feel "death" over our roof. It was the scariest feeling ...... but why? Was it because "death" would soon take someone I loved and there was nothing I could do about it? EXACTLY! I had NO CONTROL and that scared the hell outta me! I had to let go and let God. I remember when Pete found out it was going to be a matter of weeks, not months. He was calm and accepted death and all that it came with. Never did I know how brave he was until then. He turned to my Mom and said "It's okay, I have no regrets. I would like to have Hospice at home" After that response, I realized the ones that were suffering the most were the people around him.
I guess when you know there is no hope for treatment and your body is in the process of shutting down, there's no choice but to let go and let God. That's just what Pete did. Throughout the next year, I will talk more about those last weeks with Pete, but tonight I just want to speak about his bravery.
During our last heart to heart conversation about a week before his passing, I had asked him a question. It was the only question I asked - "Are you scared?" As he wiped a tear away from his eye he replied with a slight chuckle "No, I'm not scared" All fear from my heart was instantly wiped away. I knew then, the dying process for him was going to be one of peace. I found it interesting that towards the end of the conversation, he apologized. I was floored when he said "I didn't mean to make you cry, wipe those tears before you go back out to the family room" I instantly honored his request. I wiped my eyes, told him I loved him and walked out to the family room as if nothing happened. I sensed he wanted me to be as brave as he was. I'm sure there was some fear he wasn't sharing with me, and didn't have too. He had no regrets, lived life with love and was ready for whatever God had in store for him.
THE APPLICATION:
During Mom's meeting with Hospice, she asked about volunteering. All that is needed is someone with compassion for the dying and 25 hrs of training. Today I live like Pete by practicing bravery as I highly consider the idea of assisting the dying and their families. It's the least I can do to give back to all that Hospice did for Pete and our family.
THE REFLECTION:
Don't be afraid of the unknown. Be brave. Have Faith.
One of my intentions with this blog was to choose a fond memory of Pete everyday, meditate on it, apply it to my daily life and then journal my discoveries. Well ..... my plan seems to be working in reverse. Things happen in my day that bring up memories of Pete, vs me just picking out memories from my head and applying them to my day. Not what I had planned, but totally what's happening.
Like today ...... Mom called and told me that her job sent her on a business meeting with a Hospice company. The same company that watched over Uncle Pete during his last days here on earth. That triggered memories of Pete. Thru Hospice, he was able to pass on with dignity and comfort. They were truly angels. It was a complete eye opening experience for the entire family.
I understand for most, this is a very sad subject to speak about. Pete's "moment" of passing, was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. Before this VERY intimate experience, I was totally freaked out by death. The days leading up to it were the worse. The fear of the unknown kept our family in a Twilight Zone of uncertainty. There were nights we could feel "death" over our roof. It was the scariest feeling ...... but why? Was it because "death" would soon take someone I loved and there was nothing I could do about it? EXACTLY! I had NO CONTROL and that scared the hell outta me! I had to let go and let God. I remember when Pete found out it was going to be a matter of weeks, not months. He was calm and accepted death and all that it came with. Never did I know how brave he was until then. He turned to my Mom and said "It's okay, I have no regrets. I would like to have Hospice at home" After that response, I realized the ones that were suffering the most were the people around him.
I guess when you know there is no hope for treatment and your body is in the process of shutting down, there's no choice but to let go and let God. That's just what Pete did. Throughout the next year, I will talk more about those last weeks with Pete, but tonight I just want to speak about his bravery.
During our last heart to heart conversation about a week before his passing, I had asked him a question. It was the only question I asked - "Are you scared?" As he wiped a tear away from his eye he replied with a slight chuckle "No, I'm not scared" All fear from my heart was instantly wiped away. I knew then, the dying process for him was going to be one of peace. I found it interesting that towards the end of the conversation, he apologized. I was floored when he said "I didn't mean to make you cry, wipe those tears before you go back out to the family room" I instantly honored his request. I wiped my eyes, told him I loved him and walked out to the family room as if nothing happened. I sensed he wanted me to be as brave as he was. I'm sure there was some fear he wasn't sharing with me, and didn't have too. He had no regrets, lived life with love and was ready for whatever God had in store for him.
THE APPLICATION:
During Mom's meeting with Hospice, she asked about volunteering. All that is needed is someone with compassion for the dying and 25 hrs of training. Today I live like Pete by practicing bravery as I highly consider the idea of assisting the dying and their families. It's the least I can do to give back to all that Hospice did for Pete and our family.
THE REFLECTION:
Don't be afraid of the unknown. Be brave. Have Faith.
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