This post is for February 11th, 2011
MEMORY -
Transportation. Peter's favorite was the transportation at Disney's Magic Kingdom (The Wedway People Mover) It was a smooth ride around Future Land. It weaved in and out of different attractions, one of the more low keyed rides at the park. Wasn't my favorite .... in fact I remember always throwing a hissy fit when Uncle Pete wanted to go on. Although it was the most boring of rides to me, to Uncle Pete, it was the only way to ride.
APPLICATION -
Took a train today from Paris to Montpelier. The smooth ride reminded me of Pete's favorite ride for some odd reason.
REFLECTION -
Even if just for a moment throughout my day I remember a random thought of my Uncle, it makes all the difference in my day.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Enjoy It While You Have It - Day 136 of 365
This post is for February 10th, 2011
MEMORY -
Towards Uncle Pete's last few days, I remember him lighting up at the taste of a Popsicle. The severity of the cancer made it impossible for him to keep any food down, and in all reality, was starving. We gave him an orange Popsicle to hold and enjoy in effort to keep him hydrated while making him feel independent enough to do something on his own. He LOVED his Popsicles, letting out a brief smile upon receiving it. The coolness of the icy treat was refreshing for him. He enjoyed it as if it was the last thing he would eat ..... and that it was.
APPLICATION -
After spending a tiresome day at the Louvre Museum, Erik and I did a little shopping nearby. Knowing it was our last day in Paris, Erik sucked every last bit of his surroundings in, making stops at every crepe wagon he passed, as if it was the last real crepe he would have in a long time .... which is would be.
REFLECTION -
Enjoy what you can while you can, you never know when it will be your last.
MEMORY -
Towards Uncle Pete's last few days, I remember him lighting up at the taste of a Popsicle. The severity of the cancer made it impossible for him to keep any food down, and in all reality, was starving. We gave him an orange Popsicle to hold and enjoy in effort to keep him hydrated while making him feel independent enough to do something on his own. He LOVED his Popsicles, letting out a brief smile upon receiving it. The coolness of the icy treat was refreshing for him. He enjoyed it as if it was the last thing he would eat ..... and that it was.
APPLICATION -
After spending a tiresome day at the Louvre Museum, Erik and I did a little shopping nearby. Knowing it was our last day in Paris, Erik sucked every last bit of his surroundings in, making stops at every crepe wagon he passed, as if it was the last real crepe he would have in a long time .... which is would be.
REFLECTION -
Enjoy what you can while you can, you never know when it will be your last.
Nothing But A Shell - Day 135 of 365
This post is for February 9th, 2011
MEMORY -
I remember the exact moment Peter took his last breath. I immediately felt his spirit exit the circle our family made around the body. It was the most odd feeling. Odd because it was new feeling perhaps? Upon waiting for the undertakers to arrive, I remember thinking to myself "Wow, all that's left is a shell .. just an empty shell"
APPLICATION -
Walking through the maze of bones and dirt, the catacombs of Paris had me a little freaked out. Thousands upon thousands of skulls and bones were placed decoratively on top of each other, something you definitely don't see everyday. Just to think that each lifeless skull once told a story of life.
REFLECTION -
When a bodies dies, it literally becomes an empty shell. It's stripped of the spirit, the magic that makes all the atoms dance together to create a one of a kind human being. I am sure the spiritual body is much more enjoyable that the earthly one, Peter only knows.
MEMORY -
I remember the exact moment Peter took his last breath. I immediately felt his spirit exit the circle our family made around the body. It was the most odd feeling. Odd because it was new feeling perhaps? Upon waiting for the undertakers to arrive, I remember thinking to myself "Wow, all that's left is a shell .. just an empty shell"
APPLICATION -
Walking through the maze of bones and dirt, the catacombs of Paris had me a little freaked out. Thousands upon thousands of skulls and bones were placed decoratively on top of each other, something you definitely don't see everyday. Just to think that each lifeless skull once told a story of life.
REFLECTION -
When a bodies dies, it literally becomes an empty shell. It's stripped of the spirit, the magic that makes all the atoms dance together to create a one of a kind human being. I am sure the spiritual body is much more enjoyable that the earthly one, Peter only knows.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
"I'm Da Boss!" - Day 134 of 365
This post is for February 8th, 2011
MEMORY -
One of the first things my Uncle taught me was that I was the boss! When I was a baby, he would get down with me on the floor and ask me "Who's da boss?" taking my little hands in his, he would bring my fist to my chest and say "I'm da boss!" He did this countless times, each time making me giggle. A sweet moment of joy I wish I could actually remember. Video is all I have to recall this playfulness between Uncle Pete and his baby girl.
APPLICATION -
Getting a tour of the Palace of Versailles was an amazing opportunity. The history, the art, the stories and scandal ..... all was so intriguing. As I waked through the gold brushed halls, I listened closely to the guided tour. As the guide began talking about the Louie XIV, I wondered about his failed roll as "The Boss" or "The King" as we known him. I thought to myself " How could someone be so rich in "stuff" and so poor in heart"
REFLECTION -
I may not have been royalty, but in Uncle Pete's eyes, I was the boss and plenty rich in love.
MEMORY -
One of the first things my Uncle taught me was that I was the boss! When I was a baby, he would get down with me on the floor and ask me "Who's da boss?" taking my little hands in his, he would bring my fist to my chest and say "I'm da boss!" He did this countless times, each time making me giggle. A sweet moment of joy I wish I could actually remember. Video is all I have to recall this playfulness between Uncle Pete and his baby girl.
APPLICATION -
Getting a tour of the Palace of Versailles was an amazing opportunity. The history, the art, the stories and scandal ..... all was so intriguing. As I waked through the gold brushed halls, I listened closely to the guided tour. As the guide began talking about the Louie XIV, I wondered about his failed roll as "The Boss" or "The King" as we known him. I thought to myself " How could someone be so rich in "stuff" and so poor in heart"
REFLECTION -
I may not have been royalty, but in Uncle Pete's eyes, I was the boss and plenty rich in love.
A Cookie Lover's Dream - Day 133 of 365
This post is for February 7th, 2011
MEMORY -
I remember a trick I was taught in elementary school and the obsession Uncle Pete had with sweets. Today, both of those memories are brought back and go together hand in hand. The trick that I was taught helped you remember the spelling difference between the words "Desert" and "Dessert". The word "Dessert" always had two S's because you would want to go back for seconds, which is exactly what Peter would do especially when it came to biscotti's.
APPLICATION -
While walking through the streets of Paris, I caught sight of a brightly colored cookie store. I stopped the boys and motioned for them to follow me in. The smell of combined ingredients, vanilla and sugar tickled my nose with delight. I beelined straight toward the "cookie bar" where you could combine your own mix of cookies. Without any hesitation or warning to my husband, I put on a glove, ripped off a bag and quickly started filling it with the yummiest of flavors. Once I felt the bag begin to grow some weight, I tied off the bag and brought it up to the register. I remembered Pete and his severe sweet tooth. I thought to myself " Geez, Uncle Pete would be in his glory here, shortbread cookies and biscotti biscuits from ceiling to floor!"
REFLECTION -
Cookies + Uncle Pete = Sweet memories money can't buy.
MEMORY -
I remember a trick I was taught in elementary school and the obsession Uncle Pete had with sweets. Today, both of those memories are brought back and go together hand in hand. The trick that I was taught helped you remember the spelling difference between the words "Desert" and "Dessert". The word "Dessert" always had two S's because you would want to go back for seconds, which is exactly what Peter would do especially when it came to biscotti's.
APPLICATION -
While walking through the streets of Paris, I caught sight of a brightly colored cookie store. I stopped the boys and motioned for them to follow me in. The smell of combined ingredients, vanilla and sugar tickled my nose with delight. I beelined straight toward the "cookie bar" where you could combine your own mix of cookies. Without any hesitation or warning to my husband, I put on a glove, ripped off a bag and quickly started filling it with the yummiest of flavors. Once I felt the bag begin to grow some weight, I tied off the bag and brought it up to the register. I remembered Pete and his severe sweet tooth. I thought to myself " Geez, Uncle Pete would be in his glory here, shortbread cookies and biscotti biscuits from ceiling to floor!"
REFLECTION -
Cookies + Uncle Pete = Sweet memories money can't buy.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Family Fondue - Day 132 of 365
This post is for February 6th, 2011
MEMORY -
The sweet moments with my family come to mind when I think of dinner time, all of us gathered around the kitchen table, laughing and sharing stories. I fondly remember the times when my Grandma Jackie was still alive and after my brother had been born. The time when I felt our family was whole. We joked around a lot with each other, me to Christian, Dad to Pete, Mom to Dad, Dad to Grandma ..... we all entertained each other with each other. I miss that more than missing anyone individually. As a kid, you just don't know what you have until it's gone. Pete would completely agree.
APPLICATION -
This evening, we gathered at a Fondue place. Nancy and Jerome's son, Kim joined us for the fun. They are the cutest family ever. As I sat in my chair, with the feel of family in the air, I realized then how much the old DeLuca gang was missed. I thought to myself " My family dinners will never be the same as they once were again". For a second there, I was mourning the end to what HAD BEEN the end since 1995, the year Grandma passed. I shook the thought out of my head and continued enjoying the family around me, whether it was mine or not.
REFLECTION -
Family ...... I just love it.
MEMORY -
The sweet moments with my family come to mind when I think of dinner time, all of us gathered around the kitchen table, laughing and sharing stories. I fondly remember the times when my Grandma Jackie was still alive and after my brother had been born. The time when I felt our family was whole. We joked around a lot with each other, me to Christian, Dad to Pete, Mom to Dad, Dad to Grandma ..... we all entertained each other with each other. I miss that more than missing anyone individually. As a kid, you just don't know what you have until it's gone. Pete would completely agree.
APPLICATION -
This evening, we gathered at a Fondue place. Nancy and Jerome's son, Kim joined us for the fun. They are the cutest family ever. As I sat in my chair, with the feel of family in the air, I realized then how much the old DeLuca gang was missed. I thought to myself " My family dinners will never be the same as they once were again". For a second there, I was mourning the end to what HAD BEEN the end since 1995, the year Grandma passed. I shook the thought out of my head and continued enjoying the family around me, whether it was mine or not.
REFLECTION -
Family ...... I just love it.
The Cafe Way - Day 131 of 365
This post is for February 5th, 2011
MEMORY -
Pete loved a big breakfast, but he was just as happy with a sweet treat and a cafe latte. On occasion, he would purchase an add on to his coffee making station. His electric cafe latte mixer was most memorable for me.
APPLICATION -
Jerome took us to a nearby favorite cafe of his. No eggs and bacon here. Cafe Lattes, Scones and Jelly were most popular. The typical breakfast for the French. Peter never had the chance to visit France, but if he did, he would have been very happy especially in the mornings!
REFLECTION -
Us Americans do EVERYTHING differently, especially when it comes to food. Sure, scones are not the healthiest of foods, but when you walk EVERYWHERE ..... it balances itself out. God I love Paris!
MEMORY -
Pete loved a big breakfast, but he was just as happy with a sweet treat and a cafe latte. On occasion, he would purchase an add on to his coffee making station. His electric cafe latte mixer was most memorable for me.
APPLICATION -
Jerome took us to a nearby favorite cafe of his. No eggs and bacon here. Cafe Lattes, Scones and Jelly were most popular. The typical breakfast for the French. Peter never had the chance to visit France, but if he did, he would have been very happy especially in the mornings!
REFLECTION -
Us Americans do EVERYTHING differently, especially when it comes to food. Sure, scones are not the healthiest of foods, but when you walk EVERYWHERE ..... it balances itself out. God I love Paris!
Friday, February 25, 2011
Heavenly Harmony - Day 130 of 365
This post is for February 4th, 2011
MEMORY -
A memory in church, first row, Uncle Pete to my left and my brother to my right. The choir's vocal collaboration seemed to float throughout the isles gracefully, inviting people to join in the praise. I was never one to sing in church. Always a dancer, NEVER a singer. I would hold the hymnal book with interest, but just read along while tapping my foot to the melody. It was hard to keep a straight face while having Tweedledee and Tweedledum on either side of you. Pete and Christian would sing dramatically in a stern "churchy voice" until I was red in the face with embarrassment. Keeping my head in the book seemed to bring the whiteness back into my face, but it didn't seem to tune out the boys.
APPLICATION -
Erik and I were brought to a Gospel performance at a beautiful church is Paris. They were called "Gospel Dream". We were lucky enough to get front row seats. The church seemed cold and dark before there was song. As the first note was sung .... I could feel warmth begin to dance it's way in. Their voices echoed throughout the church and off of my heart. I was immediately touched. The harmony was crisp, their energy was uplifting, I felt God intensely. About half way through (once they began dancing) I began singing! Even though Pete wasn't physically next to me, I felt him entirely around me. For a moment, I was brought back to church, first row next to Uncle Pete, only this time I wasn't embarrassed.
From what I have heard, in Heaven, things are very different than here on earth. Colors or more vivid, songs are more beautiful, time is timeless and people look the healthiest they've every looked. Maybe the voice you have in heaven is one that is felt, not heard. I say that only because I felt Peter sing along this evening. The only one I could here with my spirit and not my ears.
REFLECTION -
Heaven will always be the mystery it was intended to be. Through moments like tonight, where my soul surpasses my body, I get to hear with my heart and get a glimpse of what's ahead. Brings me comfort to know that I will once again be reunited with Uncle Pete in a renewed form, only this time I'll be happily singing along.
MEMORY -
A memory in church, first row, Uncle Pete to my left and my brother to my right. The choir's vocal collaboration seemed to float throughout the isles gracefully, inviting people to join in the praise. I was never one to sing in church. Always a dancer, NEVER a singer. I would hold the hymnal book with interest, but just read along while tapping my foot to the melody. It was hard to keep a straight face while having Tweedledee and Tweedledum on either side of you. Pete and Christian would sing dramatically in a stern "churchy voice" until I was red in the face with embarrassment. Keeping my head in the book seemed to bring the whiteness back into my face, but it didn't seem to tune out the boys.
APPLICATION -
Erik and I were brought to a Gospel performance at a beautiful church is Paris. They were called "Gospel Dream". We were lucky enough to get front row seats. The church seemed cold and dark before there was song. As the first note was sung .... I could feel warmth begin to dance it's way in. Their voices echoed throughout the church and off of my heart. I was immediately touched. The harmony was crisp, their energy was uplifting, I felt God intensely. About half way through (once they began dancing) I began singing! Even though Pete wasn't physically next to me, I felt him entirely around me. For a moment, I was brought back to church, first row next to Uncle Pete, only this time I wasn't embarrassed.
From what I have heard, in Heaven, things are very different than here on earth. Colors or more vivid, songs are more beautiful, time is timeless and people look the healthiest they've every looked. Maybe the voice you have in heaven is one that is felt, not heard. I say that only because I felt Peter sing along this evening. The only one I could here with my spirit and not my ears.
REFLECTION -
Heaven will always be the mystery it was intended to be. Through moments like tonight, where my soul surpasses my body, I get to hear with my heart and get a glimpse of what's ahead. Brings me comfort to know that I will once again be reunited with Uncle Pete in a renewed form, only this time I'll be happily singing along.
A Timeless Dinner - Day 129 of 365
This post is for February 3rd, 2011
MEMORY -
Sunday dinners with Pete. He would make his famous wine and meat filled gravy, cook his favorite pasta and toss his olive and tomato salad. It seemed to be the one time of week we could all meet up together as a family, take our time and enjoy good food with good company. Even through taking our time, there was always a natural habit of cleaning up the table shortly after dessert. Never thought twice about it till today.
APPLICATION -
After a long flight with crappy food, Erik and I were delightfully surprised when we arrived at Nancy and Jerome's home. They immediately sat us down with amazing wine, real french bread and the stinkiest of cheeses (those are the best). It was the perfect "hold over" snack till dinner. Before we knew it, we were eating again! The wine, bread and cheese seemed to find it's way to the table again along with my o-so content husband. Within no time (it seemed) salad was brought out, soon after that, the main entree was delivered then of course dessert, a homemade prune pie! Soooooo yummy. Between the wine, the food, the laughs .... I totally lost track of time. Feeling a little panicked toward the end of dinner, I checked the time. I have a bad habit of always checking the time, in fear I will be late for the next upcoming task or event. I almost fell out of my chair when I saw it was 11:00 pm! We had been having dinner for 3 hrs! WOW! It not only went by fast, but we were doing everything so slowly. We ate slowly, we took our time in conversation. It seemed this was the way we were intended to have dinner all along. I am now working on breaking my "time check" habit, it feels great!
REFLECTION -
As distant as Pete was from his original Italian roots, there was still some European habits in his blood. Providing his Sunday dinner every week created a safe zone for a our family. A place we could all come together as we were, delight in each other's company and put "clock time" aside. Our dinner wasn't as long as the ones they have over seas, but it was definitely as meaningful.
MEMORY -
Sunday dinners with Pete. He would make his famous wine and meat filled gravy, cook his favorite pasta and toss his olive and tomato salad. It seemed to be the one time of week we could all meet up together as a family, take our time and enjoy good food with good company. Even through taking our time, there was always a natural habit of cleaning up the table shortly after dessert. Never thought twice about it till today.
APPLICATION -
After a long flight with crappy food, Erik and I were delightfully surprised when we arrived at Nancy and Jerome's home. They immediately sat us down with amazing wine, real french bread and the stinkiest of cheeses (those are the best). It was the perfect "hold over" snack till dinner. Before we knew it, we were eating again! The wine, bread and cheese seemed to find it's way to the table again along with my o-so content husband. Within no time (it seemed) salad was brought out, soon after that, the main entree was delivered then of course dessert, a homemade prune pie! Soooooo yummy. Between the wine, the food, the laughs .... I totally lost track of time. Feeling a little panicked toward the end of dinner, I checked the time. I have a bad habit of always checking the time, in fear I will be late for the next upcoming task or event. I almost fell out of my chair when I saw it was 11:00 pm! We had been having dinner for 3 hrs! WOW! It not only went by fast, but we were doing everything so slowly. We ate slowly, we took our time in conversation. It seemed this was the way we were intended to have dinner all along. I am now working on breaking my "time check" habit, it feels great!
REFLECTION -
As distant as Pete was from his original Italian roots, there was still some European habits in his blood. Providing his Sunday dinner every week created a safe zone for a our family. A place we could all come together as we were, delight in each other's company and put "clock time" aside. Our dinner wasn't as long as the ones they have over seas, but it was definitely as meaningful.
A Passion For Travel - Day 128 of 365
This post is for February 2nd, 2011
MEMORY -
The stories our family would hear were often told by a story teller well traveled. Though Pete died fairly young, he lived an experienced life inspired by travel. His favorites were Scotland, England and Italy. If you couldn't get out to travel, he was the next best thing next to visiting the countries at Epcot!
APPLICATION -
Haven't seen my husband this happy in a long time. With his luggage all packed and his problems forgotten, Erik is ready! I was invited to teach in Montpelier and decided to go out a week before and visit some friends in Paris. I had passed through the beautiful city before, however never got the chance to explore it. It was also Erik's first time to France. I am more excited for him than myself. He is about to uncover an entirely different part of the world, and I couldn't be more thrilled for him.
REFLECTION -
Traveling to a new place changes someone forever. The good, the bad ..... it doesn't matter. It shapes us into who we are are. Visiting places far away from our normal day to day life, introduces life and discovery beyond what any book or television show could. Travel truly is a portal to self discovery, an experience Peter often shared with those he loved and those who loved to travel.
MEMORY -
The stories our family would hear were often told by a story teller well traveled. Though Pete died fairly young, he lived an experienced life inspired by travel. His favorites were Scotland, England and Italy. If you couldn't get out to travel, he was the next best thing next to visiting the countries at Epcot!
APPLICATION -
Haven't seen my husband this happy in a long time. With his luggage all packed and his problems forgotten, Erik is ready! I was invited to teach in Montpelier and decided to go out a week before and visit some friends in Paris. I had passed through the beautiful city before, however never got the chance to explore it. It was also Erik's first time to France. I am more excited for him than myself. He is about to uncover an entirely different part of the world, and I couldn't be more thrilled for him.
REFLECTION -
Traveling to a new place changes someone forever. The good, the bad ..... it doesn't matter. It shapes us into who we are are. Visiting places far away from our normal day to day life, introduces life and discovery beyond what any book or television show could. Travel truly is a portal to self discovery, an experience Peter often shared with those he loved and those who loved to travel.
Boxes Galore! - Day 127 of 365
This post is for February 1st, 2011
MEMORY -
Whether it was on vacation, out shopping or in his home, Pete loved boxes. I know, I know ..... boxes? They weren't just ordinary boxes though. Not shoes boxes or storage boxes, these had to be special. They had to have a unique design or an artsy flair. He loved the ones that had secret storage spaces within the interiors. We all have our weird likings ..... boxes were Pete's.
APPLICATION -
Making a thank you gift for a friend today. A beautiful box that is elaborately decorated with a Paris theme. Heading out for a Paris trip tomorrow, I thought it would be nice to make a gift for our hostess. While filling the box with my handmade flowers, I remembered Pete and his unusual collection of boxes. It brought a smile to my face as I toyed with the box, listening to the clean "snap" sound the magnetic cover created upon closing. I thought to myself " Pete wouldn't own a pretty box like this one, but he would go crazy for the closing mechanism"
REFLECTION -
When I had purchased the Paris box, I also picked up one for myself. It stated "Live, Laugh, Love" the three things Peter is still teaching me today.
MEMORY -
Whether it was on vacation, out shopping or in his home, Pete loved boxes. I know, I know ..... boxes? They weren't just ordinary boxes though. Not shoes boxes or storage boxes, these had to be special. They had to have a unique design or an artsy flair. He loved the ones that had secret storage spaces within the interiors. We all have our weird likings ..... boxes were Pete's.
APPLICATION -
Making a thank you gift for a friend today. A beautiful box that is elaborately decorated with a Paris theme. Heading out for a Paris trip tomorrow, I thought it would be nice to make a gift for our hostess. While filling the box with my handmade flowers, I remembered Pete and his unusual collection of boxes. It brought a smile to my face as I toyed with the box, listening to the clean "snap" sound the magnetic cover created upon closing. I thought to myself " Pete wouldn't own a pretty box like this one, but he would go crazy for the closing mechanism"
REFLECTION -
When I had purchased the Paris box, I also picked up one for myself. It stated "Live, Laugh, Love" the three things Peter is still teaching me today.
Pete, A Smart Shopper - Day 126 of 365
This post is for January 31st, 2011
MEMORY -
Peter always bought quality. Most importantly, he knew what he was buying before he spent the money!
APPLICATION -
So, I'm walking into a blind purchase. Paying LOTS of money for something that has no customer guarantee ...... o boy. Can we say NERVOUS?!?!?!
REFLECTION -
Learned my lesson. To maintain a positive frame of mind ....... know what you are buying BEFORE spending the moo-lah! Pete had it right!
MEMORY -
Peter always bought quality. Most importantly, he knew what he was buying before he spent the money!
APPLICATION -
So, I'm walking into a blind purchase. Paying LOTS of money for something that has no customer guarantee ...... o boy. Can we say NERVOUS?!?!?!
REFLECTION -
Learned my lesson. To maintain a positive frame of mind ....... know what you are buying BEFORE spending the moo-lah! Pete had it right!
The Insanity of Perfection - Day 125 of 365
This post is for January 30th, 2011
MEMORY -
Everything I ever did was perfect in my Uncle's eyes. My dancing, my smile, my voice .... my whole being was perfect to him.
APPLICATION -
Watched the movie "Black Swan" this evening. WOW!! Didn't realize a perfectionist could go off the deep end, but it completely makes sense. Having studied with the Royal Academy Ballet school, I was taught perfection at a very young age. We would be given exams yearly, only graduating the best of the best. I would do my best to execute perfection. Then during my ROTC years in High School, I found myself on an armed drill team. We were CONSTANTLY reminded by our Captain "Practice doesn't make PERFECT, PERFECT practice makes PERFECT". As crazy as those words sounded, they unfortunately found their way into my thoughts quite often. This habit of thought throughout the years created a "false self" of whom I was as an artist and performer. Over the years, I have come to the realization that perfection is an illusory thing and when reaching for it, dysfunction eventually finds it's way in, like a cold draft in the middle of the night. It comes in without an invite and doesn't leave until you do something about it.
REFLECTION -
Perfection is a funny thing. We spend our lives seeking it, knowingly or not. Whether it's our bodies, our relationships or our faith ...... society seems to be on an endless search for the unrealistic ..... Perfection. I've come to learn, it's the things that don't take practice (like being Uncle Peter's niece) that end up being the most perfect.
MEMORY -
Everything I ever did was perfect in my Uncle's eyes. My dancing, my smile, my voice .... my whole being was perfect to him.
APPLICATION -
Watched the movie "Black Swan" this evening. WOW!! Didn't realize a perfectionist could go off the deep end, but it completely makes sense. Having studied with the Royal Academy Ballet school, I was taught perfection at a very young age. We would be given exams yearly, only graduating the best of the best. I would do my best to execute perfection. Then during my ROTC years in High School, I found myself on an armed drill team. We were CONSTANTLY reminded by our Captain "Practice doesn't make PERFECT, PERFECT practice makes PERFECT". As crazy as those words sounded, they unfortunately found their way into my thoughts quite often. This habit of thought throughout the years created a "false self" of whom I was as an artist and performer. Over the years, I have come to the realization that perfection is an illusory thing and when reaching for it, dysfunction eventually finds it's way in, like a cold draft in the middle of the night. It comes in without an invite and doesn't leave until you do something about it.
REFLECTION -
Perfection is a funny thing. We spend our lives seeking it, knowingly or not. Whether it's our bodies, our relationships or our faith ...... society seems to be on an endless search for the unrealistic ..... Perfection. I've come to learn, it's the things that don't take practice (like being Uncle Peter's niece) that end up being the most perfect.
Clumsy Us - Day 124 of 365
This post is for January 29th, 2011
MEMORY -
I definitely got my clumsy habits from Uncle Pete. Pete's clumsiness came out to play while he lived a few houses down from us in Kissimmee, Fl. My Dad kept hounding him about his walls and how some areas needed some touch up paint. Peter wasn't exactly the handyman type, so this was a responsibility he would usually ignore in hopes Dad would come to the rescue. Pete must have been tired of hearing Dad complain, because he FINALLY took matters into his own hands.
Pete left the room to go get the paint in the garage. He came back and what a site to see!!!!!! Splattered from head to toe in white paint! Pete went on to explain that the lid to the paint can, it wasn't popped into place all the way! When he went to go shake the can to mix up the paint..... you guessed it ...... paint went EVERYWHERE! On his car, on his workbench, all over the garage, on his glasses ....... and of course, all over the "handyman" himself.
Mom and Dad bursted into laughter, then asked" Touched up a few things did ya Pete?"
APPLICATION -
Getting ready in a rush, I of course wasn't paying attention. Curling my hair with one hand and putting on lipstick with the other ..... not such a great idea. My thumb had slid across the HOT curling barrel and totally got burned. "CRAP!" I yelled. ( not the exact word I used at the time, but "crap" will work for now)
REFLECTION -
No matter what you do today, pay attention while doing it! Make sure you check before you shake and focus before you curl!!!! Clumsiness ...... definitely a shared trait between the both of us!
MEMORY -
I definitely got my clumsy habits from Uncle Pete. Pete's clumsiness came out to play while he lived a few houses down from us in Kissimmee, Fl. My Dad kept hounding him about his walls and how some areas needed some touch up paint. Peter wasn't exactly the handyman type, so this was a responsibility he would usually ignore in hopes Dad would come to the rescue. Pete must have been tired of hearing Dad complain, because he FINALLY took matters into his own hands.
Pete left the room to go get the paint in the garage. He came back and what a site to see!!!!!! Splattered from head to toe in white paint! Pete went on to explain that the lid to the paint can, it wasn't popped into place all the way! When he went to go shake the can to mix up the paint..... you guessed it ...... paint went EVERYWHERE! On his car, on his workbench, all over the garage, on his glasses ....... and of course, all over the "handyman" himself.
Mom and Dad bursted into laughter, then asked" Touched up a few things did ya Pete?"
APPLICATION -
Getting ready in a rush, I of course wasn't paying attention. Curling my hair with one hand and putting on lipstick with the other ..... not such a great idea. My thumb had slid across the HOT curling barrel and totally got burned. "CRAP!" I yelled. ( not the exact word I used at the time, but "crap" will work for now)
REFLECTION -
No matter what you do today, pay attention while doing it! Make sure you check before you shake and focus before you curl!!!! Clumsiness ...... definitely a shared trait between the both of us!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Playing In The Snow - Day 123 of 365
This post is for January 28th, 2011
MEMORY -
It was a cold winter morning, the kind that inspires a fire and a cup of hot chocolate. During our family vacation in Breckenridge, my brother, Uncle Pete and myself decided to spend some time playing in the snow. We walked to the back of the cabin, carrying our sleds in one hand and our excitement in the other. Pete was a kid again. He seemed to have tapped into a simpler time in his life, putting all thoughts of adulthood on hold. It was good. Good to see the ageless spirit of my Uncle come to life, in the Snow, having fun.
APPLICATION -
I found myself spending a weekend in a snow covered home. New Jersey was over flowing with ice, very different from what I had experienced in Breckenridge. I was introduced to Black Ice ..... By the way, I am NOT a fan! I was amazed at how such a pleasurable thing at one point in my life, was such a un-fun thing at the moment. Walking through the freezing cold, stomping my way through the snow, I close my eyes and remember the good times I had with Peter in similar weather conditions.
REFLECTION -
I see now .... it wasn't the snow I loved in Breckenridge, it was the people I was with.
MEMORY -
It was a cold winter morning, the kind that inspires a fire and a cup of hot chocolate. During our family vacation in Breckenridge, my brother, Uncle Pete and myself decided to spend some time playing in the snow. We walked to the back of the cabin, carrying our sleds in one hand and our excitement in the other. Pete was a kid again. He seemed to have tapped into a simpler time in his life, putting all thoughts of adulthood on hold. It was good. Good to see the ageless spirit of my Uncle come to life, in the Snow, having fun.
APPLICATION -
I found myself spending a weekend in a snow covered home. New Jersey was over flowing with ice, very different from what I had experienced in Breckenridge. I was introduced to Black Ice ..... By the way, I am NOT a fan! I was amazed at how such a pleasurable thing at one point in my life, was such a un-fun thing at the moment. Walking through the freezing cold, stomping my way through the snow, I close my eyes and remember the good times I had with Peter in similar weather conditions.
REFLECTION -
I see now .... it wasn't the snow I loved in Breckenridge, it was the people I was with.
Expect The Unexpected - Day 122 of 365
This post is for January 27th, 2011
MEMORY -
Peter would always be prepared for the unexpected. Not because he carried around a special tool kit for life, more so because he always lived in the "Now". He was so present. Present in the moment enough to deal with the challenge at hand, even if it was the unexpected.
APPLICATION -
Today, I literally walked into an unexpected situation. I was caught by surprise and didn't quite know how to handle it. I lived in the moment, and waited it out. I learned from this unexpected event and am thankful it happened.
REFLECTION -
Expect the unexpected, it keeps life interesting.
MEMORY -
Peter would always be prepared for the unexpected. Not because he carried around a special tool kit for life, more so because he always lived in the "Now". He was so present. Present in the moment enough to deal with the challenge at hand, even if it was the unexpected.
APPLICATION -
Today, I literally walked into an unexpected situation. I was caught by surprise and didn't quite know how to handle it. I lived in the moment, and waited it out. I learned from this unexpected event and am thankful it happened.
REFLECTION -
Expect the unexpected, it keeps life interesting.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Growing Relationships - Day 121 of 365
This post is for January 26th, 2011
MEMORY -
As a child, I saw Pete as an Uncle. The man in my life whom I could do no wrong. As a teen, I began to see him as my dad's brother, learning more about where he came from and whom he was as an individual. As an adult, I saw him as my friend, realizing our relationship was maturing and solidifying by choice not by blood.
APPLICATION -
While teaching my study group of 8, I felt a special bond happening within the group. Beyond the "teacher/student" realm, was a group of adults gathered together sharing information and learning from each other. Conversation was knowledgable but not always dance related. Special moments full of laughing, questioning and sharing. Special moments I'll forever hold dear to my heart. Wether teacher OR student, we are good people sharing good times.
REFLECTION -
I teach them dance, they teach me enjoyment ..... I guess it goes hand in hand.
MEMORY -
As a child, I saw Pete as an Uncle. The man in my life whom I could do no wrong. As a teen, I began to see him as my dad's brother, learning more about where he came from and whom he was as an individual. As an adult, I saw him as my friend, realizing our relationship was maturing and solidifying by choice not by blood.
APPLICATION -
While teaching my study group of 8, I felt a special bond happening within the group. Beyond the "teacher/student" realm, was a group of adults gathered together sharing information and learning from each other. Conversation was knowledgable but not always dance related. Special moments full of laughing, questioning and sharing. Special moments I'll forever hold dear to my heart. Wether teacher OR student, we are good people sharing good times.
REFLECTION -
I teach them dance, they teach me enjoyment ..... I guess it goes hand in hand.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Falling Behind - Day 120 of 365
This post is for January 25th, 2011
MEMORY -
I remember when I began this blog ..... I was very good about keeping up with the posts everyday as desired.
APPLICATION -
A bit disappointed in myself today. It hit me that I have fallen behind on my commitment to blog about Peter on a daily basis. I have had to jot my thoughts down throughout my hectic days and plan for a later time to blog about them.
Life happens, and things tie up your time. This daily commitment has shown me when I am on AND off track. The days that I make the time to blog in the quiet, I tend to slow myself down.
REFLECTION -
The days I play "catch up" are the days that fly by without stillness of the soul. Days not fully lived.
MEMORY -
I remember when I began this blog ..... I was very good about keeping up with the posts everyday as desired.
APPLICATION -
A bit disappointed in myself today. It hit me that I have fallen behind on my commitment to blog about Peter on a daily basis. I have had to jot my thoughts down throughout my hectic days and plan for a later time to blog about them.
Life happens, and things tie up your time. This daily commitment has shown me when I am on AND off track. The days that I make the time to blog in the quiet, I tend to slow myself down.
REFLECTION -
The days I play "catch up" are the days that fly by without stillness of the soul. Days not fully lived.
Candy Wrapper Clutch - Day 119 of 365
This post is for January 24th, 2011
MEMORY -
Candy wrapper purses. The first year they came out, Uncle Pete went out and bought me one. I had not yet known of the recycled trend, but he did and he just had to get me one. I remember him being so proud of his find. He purchased it at an art gallery in Downtown Disney.
APPLICATION -
Cleaning day ;-( My closet had taken a turn for the worse! It was time to get organized. I have been a purse junkie for years. Collecting bag upon bag. Handbags, duffel bags, clutches .... had them all. For Christmas, Erik bought me the new Miche bag. The bag that has interchangeable shells. One purse, and hundreds of different shells. There was no need for my HUGE collection of purses anymore. Having no emotional attachment to my collection, I began tossing the purses one by one.
I paused for a moment and was happily surprised. There at the bottom of the pile was Peters Candy Wrapper clutch. I held it close realizing that it hadn't been put to use in quite a long time.
REFLECTION -
Currently planning the perfect outfit for the most perfect purse.
MEMORY -
Candy wrapper purses. The first year they came out, Uncle Pete went out and bought me one. I had not yet known of the recycled trend, but he did and he just had to get me one. I remember him being so proud of his find. He purchased it at an art gallery in Downtown Disney.
APPLICATION -
Cleaning day ;-( My closet had taken a turn for the worse! It was time to get organized. I have been a purse junkie for years. Collecting bag upon bag. Handbags, duffel bags, clutches .... had them all. For Christmas, Erik bought me the new Miche bag. The bag that has interchangeable shells. One purse, and hundreds of different shells. There was no need for my HUGE collection of purses anymore. Having no emotional attachment to my collection, I began tossing the purses one by one.
I paused for a moment and was happily surprised. There at the bottom of the pile was Peters Candy Wrapper clutch. I held it close realizing that it hadn't been put to use in quite a long time.
REFLECTION -
Currently planning the perfect outfit for the most perfect purse.
The Simple Things - Day 118 of 365
This post is for January 23rd, 2011
MEMORY -
I remember the simple things. The everyday gestures and habits Peter displayed. The moments I wouldn't normally label as "memorable", seem to stick in my mind the most. I guess in a moment of loss ...... everything is memorable.
APPLICATION -
Tonight, I sit down at the dinner table at Mom and Dad's. I sit patiently waiting for dinner to be served. During my wait, I noticed my mind begin to wander. It tends to do that when I am around Pete's old living quarters. I could imagine him at the other end of the table. Sitting quietly playing on his IPhone. He also had a bad habit of biting his nails on occasion. As crazy as that sounds, I miss that too! From the good to the bad ..... I miss it all.
REFLECTION -
It's when you no longer have the means to see nor touch someone, that you begin to miss EVERYTHING about them, even the simple things.
MEMORY -
I remember the simple things. The everyday gestures and habits Peter displayed. The moments I wouldn't normally label as "memorable", seem to stick in my mind the most. I guess in a moment of loss ...... everything is memorable.
APPLICATION -
Tonight, I sit down at the dinner table at Mom and Dad's. I sit patiently waiting for dinner to be served. During my wait, I noticed my mind begin to wander. It tends to do that when I am around Pete's old living quarters. I could imagine him at the other end of the table. Sitting quietly playing on his IPhone. He also had a bad habit of biting his nails on occasion. As crazy as that sounds, I miss that too! From the good to the bad ..... I miss it all.
REFLECTION -
It's when you no longer have the means to see nor touch someone, that you begin to miss EVERYTHING about them, even the simple things.
A Different Light - Day 117 of 365
This post is for January 22nd, 2011
MEMORY -
The day I began this blog was a special day. I began to get to know Peter in a different light.
APPLICATION -
Today, I listened to a friend who was speaking about a lost loved one. I spoke about my blog and inspired them to get to know their loved one in a different light as well. She was glowing with curiosity and excitement.
REFLECTION -
No doubt, continuing to remember someone who has crossed to the other side is an enlightening experience unlike any other I have ever experienced. Happy to see others keeping those memories alive.
MEMORY -
The day I began this blog was a special day. I began to get to know Peter in a different light.
APPLICATION -
Today, I listened to a friend who was speaking about a lost loved one. I spoke about my blog and inspired them to get to know their loved one in a different light as well. She was glowing with curiosity and excitement.
REFLECTION -
No doubt, continuing to remember someone who has crossed to the other side is an enlightening experience unlike any other I have ever experienced. Happy to see others keeping those memories alive.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)