MEMORY -
Every year during the holidays, Pete would get our family Candlelight tickets (a Disney created tribute to the birth of Jesus Christ). We would sit, watch and enjoy the beautiful songs of praise and celebration. A family tradition that Pete was in charge of year after year.
APPLICATION -
Today, Mom shared with me an e-mail she found. It was a conversation she had with Pete about Candlelight. He states " Got the Candlelight tickets this morning. It's for Sunday December 3rd."
It's incredible how something so simple and informative can bring about so much emotion. Mom admitted to being a little misty eyed after reading it. It was Pete's "thing" ..... and this year it was hers.
REFLECTION -
I wrote back to Mom "Amazing how he finds a way everyday to keep himself remembered"
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Blog Of Healing - Day 92 of 365
This post is for December 28th, 2010
MEMORY -
How much we were missing Pete shortly after he left us
APPLICATION -
Today, Dad and I got together for lunch. In midst of conversation he said " I really miss Pete, he was such a good guy. I love your blog, he would be so proud. When it's published someday, I want a copy" What do you say to that? Nothing. All you can do is say "Thank You" and listen.
I feel the same way more often than not, but I've learned how to filter those feelings of loss. Writing this blog not only has kept Pete's memory alive, but it's also allowed me to be with him everyday in a very quiet, intimate way. Yes, I miss the physical Pete, but the spiritual Pete is very much alive more now than ever. It's the essence of his spirit that makes his memory so memorable.
If I didn't get my feelings out on paper ..... I would be speaking it everyday.
REFLECTION -
This blog continues to be a healing tool for me and my family.
MEMORY -
How much we were missing Pete shortly after he left us
APPLICATION -
Today, Dad and I got together for lunch. In midst of conversation he said " I really miss Pete, he was such a good guy. I love your blog, he would be so proud. When it's published someday, I want a copy" What do you say to that? Nothing. All you can do is say "Thank You" and listen.
I feel the same way more often than not, but I've learned how to filter those feelings of loss. Writing this blog not only has kept Pete's memory alive, but it's also allowed me to be with him everyday in a very quiet, intimate way. Yes, I miss the physical Pete, but the spiritual Pete is very much alive more now than ever. It's the essence of his spirit that makes his memory so memorable.
If I didn't get my feelings out on paper ..... I would be speaking it everyday.
REFLECTION -
This blog continues to be a healing tool for me and my family.
" I No Feelie To Good" - Day 91 of 365
This post is for December 27th, 2010
MEMORY -
When Pete was at his worse with a cold. His posture would slouch as he slowly came pounding down the stairs in his navy blue robe and slippers. He would make his way into the living then plop himself in the recliner. If you asked him how he was doing he would respond in a dramatic high toned voice "I no feelie to good" A statement commonly used by his Mother when she was under the weather.
APPLICATION -
Today ..... "I no feelie to good".......
REFLECTION -
In my robe and slippers popping some Nyquil ..... nite nite.
MEMORY -
When Pete was at his worse with a cold. His posture would slouch as he slowly came pounding down the stairs in his navy blue robe and slippers. He would make his way into the living then plop himself in the recliner. If you asked him how he was doing he would respond in a dramatic high toned voice "I no feelie to good" A statement commonly used by his Mother when she was under the weather.
APPLICATION -
Today ..... "I no feelie to good".......
REFLECTION -
In my robe and slippers popping some Nyquil ..... nite nite.
Birthday Wishes - Day 90 of 365
This post is for December 26, 2010
MEMORY -
The feeling I took for granted when I opened a birthday card from Uncle Pete that surprisingly had his voice recorded with a personalized greeting.
APPLICATION -
As I was cleaning out my scrapbook room, I came across that birthday card with his recorded greeting. I opened it with curiosity and heard his voice. It was surreal to hear him again. He spoke about all the good things in my life and all the good things ahead. I found comfort in his soothing voice. O how I miss that voice.
REFLECTION -
A birthday card not appreciated as much then, as it is now.
MEMORY -
The feeling I took for granted when I opened a birthday card from Uncle Pete that surprisingly had his voice recorded with a personalized greeting.
APPLICATION -
As I was cleaning out my scrapbook room, I came across that birthday card with his recorded greeting. I opened it with curiosity and heard his voice. It was surreal to hear him again. He spoke about all the good things in my life and all the good things ahead. I found comfort in his soothing voice. O how I miss that voice.
REFLECTION -
A birthday card not appreciated as much then, as it is now.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Best Christmas Gift EVER - Day 89 of 365
This post is for December 25th, 2010
MEMORY -
Living much "in the moment" since I have started this blog. Living like a loved one has taught me so much about Peter as well as myself, I am thankful to have the opportunity to write about him. When I hit my full year of blogs, I hope to get it published so others who have had a loss can find comfort and closeness to their loved one.
APPLICATION -
Mom called me over to sit next to her and open the last gift. In our family, the BIG gift was saved for last. I didn't have anything BIG on my list so I had no idea what it could have been. As I moved the tissue paper, one side off the other, I saw a book that was titled "Living Like a Loved One". It was a collaboration of all my blogs to date. She added a few new pictures of Pete as well as including "Exercise" and "Journal" areas to each post. She will put a new one together once I am done with my year long commitment. I will then have a manuscript I can share with publishers. I instantly began to cry saying in a weepy voice ....... " I love it" ......
REFLECTION -
The feeling of "WOW" came over me. For the first time I was able to physically hold the last 81 days in my hands ..... felt amazing.
REFLECTION
MEMORY -
Living much "in the moment" since I have started this blog. Living like a loved one has taught me so much about Peter as well as myself, I am thankful to have the opportunity to write about him. When I hit my full year of blogs, I hope to get it published so others who have had a loss can find comfort and closeness to their loved one.
APPLICATION -
Mom called me over to sit next to her and open the last gift. In our family, the BIG gift was saved for last. I didn't have anything BIG on my list so I had no idea what it could have been. As I moved the tissue paper, one side off the other, I saw a book that was titled "Living Like a Loved One". It was a collaboration of all my blogs to date. She added a few new pictures of Pete as well as including "Exercise" and "Journal" areas to each post. She will put a new one together once I am done with my year long commitment. I will then have a manuscript I can share with publishers. I instantly began to cry saying in a weepy voice ....... " I love it" ......
REFLECTION -
The feeling of "WOW" came over me. For the first time I was able to physically hold the last 81 days in my hands ..... felt amazing.
REFLECTION
Our Gift's From The Heart - Day 88 of 365
This post is for December 24th, 2010
MEMORY -
I remember, as a complete family the moments together in front of the fire, next to the tree, sharing our gifts from the heart with one another. A very special tradition that brought our family together to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas.
APPLICATION -
Today, all the Deluca's were together. Both Pete and Grandma's spirit felt present throughout the house. It was time to share our gifts from the heart .... and boy our hearts were ready!
Christian did a hilarious song and dance with a "Disney feel" about working for the company. He had help from Mom and I have to say I was very impressed. His timing and showmanship was quiet captivating and I thought I was the ONLY performer in the family!
Dad shared his love of photography. He went through some of his most recent holiday shots and found the one that seemed to represent Christmas the best. His picture was of a girl hugging Santa during a meet and greet. The smile upon her face was full of love and magic, while Santa closed his eyes and sat in the joy of the young child. Absolutely explained what Christmas is all about.
Mom shared an old e-mail conversation she had with Pete that she printed and saved from about 10 years ago. It was an intimate conversation about both life and death. It was everything we needed to hear on a night like this. The most fond family memory we have is of the snow trip to Breckenridge in 2008. Mom gave us a reminder of that trip in key chain form. She downsized all the page layouts from her Breckenridge scrapbook, laminated them and made them into key chains. A moment in time we can instantly relive thanks to her.
Erik shared his recent discovery with the word Charisma. Comparing the word to "Christmas" .... Christmas being the birth of Christ .... and the relation between Christ and Charisma.
Charisma : .a certain quality of an individual personality, by virtue of which one is "set apart" from ordinary people and treated as endowed with supernatural, superhuman, or at least specifically exceptional powers or qualities. These as such are not accessible to the ordinary person, but are regarded as divine in origin or as exemplary, and on the basis of them the individual concerned is treated as a leader.[2]
Then it was my turn. I found a treasure at a local Hallmark store that spoke to me. It was a
"Christmas In Heaven" poem. A beautiful poem about a passed spirit explaining how they
are celebrating Christmas with Jesus this year.
I gave the card to each member of the family along with an old gift tag with Peter's writing.
I feel like I have been in touch with Peter since he's been gone, the blog helping me
maintain that relationship. I decided it would be a good idea for the family to add their own
thoughts and memories of Pete in tonight's blog. Here's what they had to say :
Erik - " It was awesome to watch Pete while he watched others open gifts from him.
Something so jubilant and raw, felt by everyone in his presence."
Christian - "I remember when I would get excited over a new game. Peter would share in
my excitement and rush me to the nearest Game Stop. We would search each shelf until we
found the new masterpiece from EA. When we got home, I would immediately
pop in the game and start it up. We picked up our controllers and and played for hours. I
could always count of Pete to be my second player"
Mom - "Words With Friends, my new favorite app for the IPhone. I wish Pete had known
about it - he was our dictionary. I know I would have been challenged. In the meantime
I have Erik to keep me on my toes!"
Dad - "Every year, Peter would wish you "Merry Christmas"in his own special way, by
simply saying "Merry Berries""
Jen - Pete WAS Christmas ..... he was tradition, he was heart, he was joy and he was love, not
just at Christmas, but all year long.
REFLECTION -
Even though we were minus one physically ....... it felt like we were all together spiritually.
What a very Merry Christmas we all had together.
MEMORY -
I remember, as a complete family the moments together in front of the fire, next to the tree, sharing our gifts from the heart with one another. A very special tradition that brought our family together to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas.
APPLICATION -
Today, all the Deluca's were together. Both Pete and Grandma's spirit felt present throughout the house. It was time to share our gifts from the heart .... and boy our hearts were ready!
Christian did a hilarious song and dance with a "Disney feel" about working for the company. He had help from Mom and I have to say I was very impressed. His timing and showmanship was quiet captivating and I thought I was the ONLY performer in the family!
Dad shared his love of photography. He went through some of his most recent holiday shots and found the one that seemed to represent Christmas the best. His picture was of a girl hugging Santa during a meet and greet. The smile upon her face was full of love and magic, while Santa closed his eyes and sat in the joy of the young child. Absolutely explained what Christmas is all about.
Mom shared an old e-mail conversation she had with Pete that she printed and saved from about 10 years ago. It was an intimate conversation about both life and death. It was everything we needed to hear on a night like this. The most fond family memory we have is of the snow trip to Breckenridge in 2008. Mom gave us a reminder of that trip in key chain form. She downsized all the page layouts from her Breckenridge scrapbook, laminated them and made them into key chains. A moment in time we can instantly relive thanks to her.
Erik shared his recent discovery with the word Charisma. Comparing the word to "Christmas" .... Christmas being the birth of Christ .... and the relation between Christ and Charisma.
Charisma : .a certain quality of an individual personality, by virtue of which one is "set apart" from ordinary people and treated as endowed with supernatural, superhuman, or at least specifically exceptional powers or qualities. These as such are not accessible to the ordinary person, but are regarded as divine in origin or as exemplary, and on the basis of them the individual concerned is treated as a leader.[2]
Then it was my turn. I found a treasure at a local Hallmark store that spoke to me. It was a
"Christmas In Heaven" poem. A beautiful poem about a passed spirit explaining how they
are celebrating Christmas with Jesus this year.
I gave the card to each member of the family along with an old gift tag with Peter's writing.
I feel like I have been in touch with Peter since he's been gone, the blog helping me
maintain that relationship. I decided it would be a good idea for the family to add their own
thoughts and memories of Pete in tonight's blog. Here's what they had to say :
Erik - " It was awesome to watch Pete while he watched others open gifts from him.
Something so jubilant and raw, felt by everyone in his presence."
Christian - "I remember when I would get excited over a new game. Peter would share in
my excitement and rush me to the nearest Game Stop. We would search each shelf until we
found the new masterpiece from EA. When we got home, I would immediately
pop in the game and start it up. We picked up our controllers and and played for hours. I
could always count of Pete to be my second player"
Mom - "Words With Friends, my new favorite app for the IPhone. I wish Pete had known
about it - he was our dictionary. I know I would have been challenged. In the meantime
I have Erik to keep me on my toes!"
Dad - "Every year, Peter would wish you "Merry Christmas"in his own special way, by
simply saying "Merry Berries""
Jen - Pete WAS Christmas ..... he was tradition, he was heart, he was joy and he was love, not
just at Christmas, but all year long.
REFLECTION -
Even though we were minus one physically ....... it felt like we were all together spiritually.
What a very Merry Christmas we all had together.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
"A Snowy Night" - Day 87 of 365
This post is for Thursday December 23,2010
MEMORY -
December 23, 1995 .... Pete created his gift from the heart for our family. A poem dedicated to his mother the month she passed away.
" A Snowy Night" By Peter DeLuca
A young girl walks home one evening.
It's been snowing, more or less, all day long, but now the snow come like a white waterfall.
The flakes large and wet, dancing through the cold night air.
Tumbling, twirling, catching the moonlight as they fall.
Touching everything, covering the grass, the sidewalk, the front steps.
Blanketing the street, quieting the night noises.
It's unusually quiet .... like putting your ears into a warm, white pillow in a cold bed and listening to your thoughts get louder and louder.
The world has gone white .....
The snow, the moon, the streetlights all blur into one winter white.
The absence of color is barley noticed.
It is as though there is only one color, everything else is unnecessary.
The snow amplifies quiet, and diminishes confusion.
Each flake, like each person is individually complicated, unique and never to be duplicated.
But when millions fall to the earth in an hour, they surrender their complexity to leave one lasting impression.
An impression so powerful, so moving, it might last a lifetime.
It embeds itself into the memory.
It burrows into the unconscious.
It penetrates into the heart ... where it finds a welcome home and soon becomes a friend.
Life plays with us.
It tempts us with things.
It seduces us with self-importance.
It convinces us that we are invincible.
It makes a great noise of itself ... and then we need the snow quiet and then we need the old friend.
The young girl becomes a new bride
A new mother
A new grandmother
and finally ..... an old woman.
The light begins to fail, the world becomes confusion.
The strong legs that once walked in the quiet deep snow... weaken
But the heart memory grows younger, stronger, more real than reality.
And in the end, the world grows simpler and quieter once more.
Forever .....
APPLICATION -
This evening, surrounded by warm glowing Christmas lights, I read his labor of love ........ I'm celebrating inside to know that mother and son are together again this Christmas and like Pete stated in his poem ... they are younger, stronger and more real than reality. Their world is simple and quiet once more ...... forever.
REFLECTION -
My spirit looks forward to the day we are all together, once again feeling the joy of Christmas for the rest of eternity.
MEMORY -
December 23, 1995 .... Pete created his gift from the heart for our family. A poem dedicated to his mother the month she passed away.
" A Snowy Night" By Peter DeLuca
A young girl walks home one evening.
It's been snowing, more or less, all day long, but now the snow come like a white waterfall.
The flakes large and wet, dancing through the cold night air.
Tumbling, twirling, catching the moonlight as they fall.
Touching everything, covering the grass, the sidewalk, the front steps.
Blanketing the street, quieting the night noises.
It's unusually quiet .... like putting your ears into a warm, white pillow in a cold bed and listening to your thoughts get louder and louder.
The world has gone white .....
The snow, the moon, the streetlights all blur into one winter white.
The absence of color is barley noticed.
It is as though there is only one color, everything else is unnecessary.
The snow amplifies quiet, and diminishes confusion.
Each flake, like each person is individually complicated, unique and never to be duplicated.
But when millions fall to the earth in an hour, they surrender their complexity to leave one lasting impression.
An impression so powerful, so moving, it might last a lifetime.
It embeds itself into the memory.
It burrows into the unconscious.
It penetrates into the heart ... where it finds a welcome home and soon becomes a friend.
Life plays with us.
It tempts us with things.
It seduces us with self-importance.
It convinces us that we are invincible.
It makes a great noise of itself ... and then we need the snow quiet and then we need the old friend.
The young girl becomes a new bride
A new mother
A new grandmother
and finally ..... an old woman.
The light begins to fail, the world becomes confusion.
The strong legs that once walked in the quiet deep snow... weaken
But the heart memory grows younger, stronger, more real than reality.
And in the end, the world grows simpler and quieter once more.
Forever .....
APPLICATION -
This evening, surrounded by warm glowing Christmas lights, I read his labor of love ........ I'm celebrating inside to know that mother and son are together again this Christmas and like Pete stated in his poem ... they are younger, stronger and more real than reality. Their world is simple and quiet once more ...... forever.
REFLECTION -
My spirit looks forward to the day we are all together, once again feeling the joy of Christmas for the rest of eternity.
A Purple Bag Of Opportunity - Day 86 of 365
This post is for Wednesday, December 22, 2010
MEMORY -
A beautiful purple bag with felt stripes on the outside and a ribbon draped handle. It was a classy gift bag Peter gave to me during one of our Christmas's together. The tag attached said " To Jen and Erik, Love Uncle Pete" It had a flare of magic to it then, and it still does today.
APPLICATION -
Today was one of those days where a frown was turned upside down. I was having a rough day until I realized something of GREAT importance. When one door closes, another one opens .... and today ..... it opened! Not only did another door open, but it was the door that shut that led me to this new door of opportunity. I came across a handmade gift store just a few doors down from the dance studio I will soon be retiring from. Walking my new path into my handmade flower business (Blessing Bouquets) I've been looking for a fun place to sell them. Sure enough on my way to class tonight, I discovered the cute little art store.
I was a few mins early for class so I decided to stop in. I happened to have some flowers with me in the purple bag Pete gave me. I brought them in and showed the owner. They loved what they saw and invited my product to be a part of their store.It was the PERFECT place for my product and was owned by other local artists. I felt at home with the store and the treasures that surrounded me.
REFLECTION -
Peter always supported my craft and was amazed with my artistic ability. It just felt right to show my flowers in the bag that he gave me. I felt that he was with me in this new venture, giving me strength and confidence to follow yet another one of my dreams. "Thank You Uncle Pete. I feel you everyday in everything I do. I continue to adore my bag and plan on putting it to good use, holding my flowers while I bring them from studio to store."
MEMORY -
A beautiful purple bag with felt stripes on the outside and a ribbon draped handle. It was a classy gift bag Peter gave to me during one of our Christmas's together. The tag attached said " To Jen and Erik, Love Uncle Pete" It had a flare of magic to it then, and it still does today.
APPLICATION -
Today was one of those days where a frown was turned upside down. I was having a rough day until I realized something of GREAT importance. When one door closes, another one opens .... and today ..... it opened! Not only did another door open, but it was the door that shut that led me to this new door of opportunity. I came across a handmade gift store just a few doors down from the dance studio I will soon be retiring from. Walking my new path into my handmade flower business (Blessing Bouquets) I've been looking for a fun place to sell them. Sure enough on my way to class tonight, I discovered the cute little art store.
I was a few mins early for class so I decided to stop in. I happened to have some flowers with me in the purple bag Pete gave me. I brought them in and showed the owner. They loved what they saw and invited my product to be a part of their store.It was the PERFECT place for my product and was owned by other local artists. I felt at home with the store and the treasures that surrounded me.
REFLECTION -
Peter always supported my craft and was amazed with my artistic ability. It just felt right to show my flowers in the bag that he gave me. I felt that he was with me in this new venture, giving me strength and confidence to follow yet another one of my dreams. "Thank You Uncle Pete. I feel you everyday in everything I do. I continue to adore my bag and plan on putting it to good use, holding my flowers while I bring them from studio to store."
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
God's Light Show - Day 85 of 365
This post is for Tuesday, December 21 2010
MEMORY -
Today I remember Pete's love for our family and how giving he was.
If we had told him that we wanted the stars in the sky .... without hesitation, he would find a way to pull them down.
APPLICATION -
My husband and I woke up at 3:00 am and walked outside with anticipation. We had never seen a lunar eclipse before and were eager to witness something so rare. The sight was one so beautifully different, it kept us captivated for some time. Erik ran back inside to warm up and watch through the dining room window. I however sat on the driveway, in my big fluffy robe and slippers, holding my dog close gazing at the sky like a baby gazes at it's mother's first glance. The blocking of the moonlight caused all the stars to magically appear before me and shine with bright intensity. The blackness of the sky was the truest black I had ever seen. I couldn't help but feel the love of God and the presence of Pete. Just for a brief moment, I felt a sense of world peace in MY world. This was God's light show. More brilliant than any house on the block lit for the holidays, the moon seemed to take on the characteristics of a mood ring, ever so slowly changing it's color.
I glanced down the block, both directions. Not one person was out to see such a rare work of nature. Erik had went back to bed and the dog was getting antsy. I brought the dog back inside, made a u turn towards the door and realized, this may be a moment that was to be shared between God, Peter and myself. I sat on the driveway, closed my eyes and opened my heart.
REFLECTION -
Sadly enough, I can't put into words what I experienced in that moment under the blanket of stars. The only thing I can put into words is ....... "They" say that God speaks to you in the crazy hours of the morning ....... yah..... "They" are right.
MEMORY -
Today I remember Pete's love for our family and how giving he was.
If we had told him that we wanted the stars in the sky .... without hesitation, he would find a way to pull them down.
APPLICATION -
My husband and I woke up at 3:00 am and walked outside with anticipation. We had never seen a lunar eclipse before and were eager to witness something so rare. The sight was one so beautifully different, it kept us captivated for some time. Erik ran back inside to warm up and watch through the dining room window. I however sat on the driveway, in my big fluffy robe and slippers, holding my dog close gazing at the sky like a baby gazes at it's mother's first glance. The blocking of the moonlight caused all the stars to magically appear before me and shine with bright intensity. The blackness of the sky was the truest black I had ever seen. I couldn't help but feel the love of God and the presence of Pete. Just for a brief moment, I felt a sense of world peace in MY world. This was God's light show. More brilliant than any house on the block lit for the holidays, the moon seemed to take on the characteristics of a mood ring, ever so slowly changing it's color.
I glanced down the block, both directions. Not one person was out to see such a rare work of nature. Erik had went back to bed and the dog was getting antsy. I brought the dog back inside, made a u turn towards the door and realized, this may be a moment that was to be shared between God, Peter and myself. I sat on the driveway, closed my eyes and opened my heart.
REFLECTION -
Sadly enough, I can't put into words what I experienced in that moment under the blanket of stars. The only thing I can put into words is ....... "They" say that God speaks to you in the crazy hours of the morning ....... yah..... "They" are right.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Pete's Gift From The Heart - Day 84 of 365
MEMORY -
Every Christmas Eve before midnight mass, our family would gather around the fireplace, enjoy some good eats and share our gifts from the heart. Gifts From The Heart was a tradition that my mom started when I was a little girl. Like many kids on Christmas, I kept asking about the presents.... mom noticed and took action to show me what Christmas was all about. Christmas wasn't about the gifts we buy, yet the gifts that come from the heart. We each brought something personal to the evening. I had brought the fun of entertainment with song and dance and my brother brought the joy of laughter with jokes and skits. Dad would bring characters to life with 3D animated holiday greetings, while Mom brought us to tears with insightful words of love and faith.
Uncle Pete brought us to thought, taking us to a place in our minds and hearts, we didn't even know existed.
It was Christmas Eve 1996, a year after Pete's mom had passed.
Every Sunday our family joined together in the front row at church. To our right in the next section over, sat an old man and his adult son. His son had Cerebral Palsy and was limited to a wheel chair. The father's touch seemed to calm the boy, as he would hold his hand and stroke it softly. A few times during the service, the father would take his hankie and wipe the mouth of his son, put the hankie away and continue to hold his trembling child.
Pete took notice and was touched at the sight of unconditional love. So touched, he decided to include his observations in his gift from the heart. He went on to talk about Grandma, how unconditional her love was for her sons. Just before concluding his thoughts, he gave each of us one of Grandmas hankies. This way, we will remember the "hankie story" and the unconditional love that brought it to life.
APPLICATION -
Today, Uncle Pete guided me from a distance, inspiring me to create an AWESOME gift from the heart this year!
REFLECTION -
Looking back on that intimate Christmas Eve in December 1996, it was a good thing Peter gave us hankies, we were all in tears and happily so.
Every Christmas Eve before midnight mass, our family would gather around the fireplace, enjoy some good eats and share our gifts from the heart. Gifts From The Heart was a tradition that my mom started when I was a little girl. Like many kids on Christmas, I kept asking about the presents.... mom noticed and took action to show me what Christmas was all about. Christmas wasn't about the gifts we buy, yet the gifts that come from the heart. We each brought something personal to the evening. I had brought the fun of entertainment with song and dance and my brother brought the joy of laughter with jokes and skits. Dad would bring characters to life with 3D animated holiday greetings, while Mom brought us to tears with insightful words of love and faith.
Uncle Pete brought us to thought, taking us to a place in our minds and hearts, we didn't even know existed.
It was Christmas Eve 1996, a year after Pete's mom had passed.
Every Sunday our family joined together in the front row at church. To our right in the next section over, sat an old man and his adult son. His son had Cerebral Palsy and was limited to a wheel chair. The father's touch seemed to calm the boy, as he would hold his hand and stroke it softly. A few times during the service, the father would take his hankie and wipe the mouth of his son, put the hankie away and continue to hold his trembling child.
Pete took notice and was touched at the sight of unconditional love. So touched, he decided to include his observations in his gift from the heart. He went on to talk about Grandma, how unconditional her love was for her sons. Just before concluding his thoughts, he gave each of us one of Grandmas hankies. This way, we will remember the "hankie story" and the unconditional love that brought it to life.
APPLICATION -
Today, Uncle Pete guided me from a distance, inspiring me to create an AWESOME gift from the heart this year!
REFLECTION -
Looking back on that intimate Christmas Eve in December 1996, it was a good thing Peter gave us hankies, we were all in tears and happily so.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
The Rock In My Life - Day 83 of 365
MEMORY -
Peter had two stones he had a liking for. Tiger's Eye and Hematite. He wouldn't pass them by without telling me how much he loved them.
APPLICATION -
Today, I received an e-mail from a friend about the origins of first names. Peter's name was listed as "A rock. Peter the biblical fisherman and apostle had impulsive nature and rock like faith" Although Uncle Pete was no where near a fisherman, he definitely had a rock like faith. His show of faith was humble but extremely personal. Being the elder in the family, he seemed to be the rock for us all staying grounded to reality and connected to life.
I took some time this evening and held two of Pete's stones. Yes, Hematite and Tiger's Eye are quite beautiful, I see now why he found them so remarkable.
REFLECTION -
As quoted by Jim Carrey " Nothing on this earth was created without intent".
From the stars up above to the rocks down below they all have a purpose, as do you and I. I may not know the purpose to all things in life, but I do know two things for sure, Pete was my rock and I was his star.
Peter had two stones he had a liking for. Tiger's Eye and Hematite. He wouldn't pass them by without telling me how much he loved them.
APPLICATION -
Today, I received an e-mail from a friend about the origins of first names. Peter's name was listed as "A rock. Peter the biblical fisherman and apostle had impulsive nature and rock like faith" Although Uncle Pete was no where near a fisherman, he definitely had a rock like faith. His show of faith was humble but extremely personal. Being the elder in the family, he seemed to be the rock for us all staying grounded to reality and connected to life.
I took some time this evening and held two of Pete's stones. Yes, Hematite and Tiger's Eye are quite beautiful, I see now why he found them so remarkable.
REFLECTION -
As quoted by Jim Carrey " Nothing on this earth was created without intent".
From the stars up above to the rocks down below they all have a purpose, as do you and I. I may not know the purpose to all things in life, but I do know two things for sure, Pete was my rock and I was his star.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Angel Nightlight - Day 82 of 365
MEMORY -
During Pete's last days, I brought over my favorite nightlight to set a soft loving glow in his room. It was a gold angel with a beautiful crystal positioned at the bottom. I felt that the angel held a small part of myself. When I couldn't be with him, I at least knew there was angel was by his side.
The light soon went back to it's original home (my scrapbook room). In preparation for an out of town guest, I was cleaning the guest room when something told me to put the angel light in the room, so I did and it didn't go unnoticed.
APPLICATION -
I had an interesting conversation about last night's blog with a friend. He had just spent the previous week at my house and had a question for me. He asked if the nightlight in the guest room had any significance. After telling him the story, we were both a little surprised how the night light story he brought up went hand in hand with the blog from last night "Death Bed vs Birth Blanket" Day 81 of 365.
REFLECTION -
As I am growing older, I am learning who my soul mates are. Our spirits know each other better than our minds. This particular friend is just one of those people.
For some reason, I was moved to bring the angel light into his room, sure enough, he noticed it and questioned me about it. I don't doubt for one second that Peter had something to do with it. Whenever you get "a feeling" that's usually your spirit talking. I'm sure Peter wanted me to share his light with someone else and gave me "that feeling". It was able to shed light through the darkness, guiding yet another loved spirit into a place of newness. A perfect addition to the guest room!
During Pete's last days, I brought over my favorite nightlight to set a soft loving glow in his room. It was a gold angel with a beautiful crystal positioned at the bottom. I felt that the angel held a small part of myself. When I couldn't be with him, I at least knew there was angel was by his side.
The light soon went back to it's original home (my scrapbook room). In preparation for an out of town guest, I was cleaning the guest room when something told me to put the angel light in the room, so I did and it didn't go unnoticed.
APPLICATION -
I had an interesting conversation about last night's blog with a friend. He had just spent the previous week at my house and had a question for me. He asked if the nightlight in the guest room had any significance. After telling him the story, we were both a little surprised how the night light story he brought up went hand in hand with the blog from last night "Death Bed vs Birth Blanket" Day 81 of 365.
REFLECTION -
As I am growing older, I am learning who my soul mates are. Our spirits know each other better than our minds. This particular friend is just one of those people.
For some reason, I was moved to bring the angel light into his room, sure enough, he noticed it and questioned me about it. I don't doubt for one second that Peter had something to do with it. Whenever you get "a feeling" that's usually your spirit talking. I'm sure Peter wanted me to share his light with someone else and gave me "that feeling". It was able to shed light through the darkness, guiding yet another loved spirit into a place of newness. A perfect addition to the guest room!
Friday, December 17, 2010
Death Bed vs Birth Blanket - Day 81 of 365
MEMORY -
A sad, but very vivid memory ...... our family preparing for Pete's hospice experience. I was shopping at Bed, Bath and Beyond when I received a phone call from Uncle Pete. His voice was worn as his sentences were broken up with severe hiccups that were being caused by the cancer. Nothing could prepare me to hear what was about to come out of his mouth. In a calm, relaxed voice he said "Hunny, can you pick up a pair of sheets for my hospice bed?" I stuttered over my words trying to find the simple one worded "yes" answer. I followed with "Any particular kind?" I know it wouldn't matter to him, but it was the only thing I could think of saying, still in a state of shock. I remember thinking to myself "These are the sheets he will die in" It had finally hit me of how real this whole thing was becoming. Death was approaching and there was nothing we could do but prepare, that's exactly what Pete did. As freaked out as I was by the whole thing, I was honored to do him one last favor. I ended up picking out the softest sheet set in the store. He deserved nothing but the best ..... all the way till the end.
With sheets at hand, I assured him I bought the comfiest. He thanked me and in a stern voice said " I'll pay you when you get here" I abruptly said " I got it covered, please just go rest" With Pete still maintaining the little independence he had left he said "Jenny, don't be silly, please take the money, I won't have you pay for this" At that moment, I realized that this had nothing to do with money. He was going to a place where money was no longer needed. I felt he wanted to stay in control with his hospice decision all the way down to the minor details. A sense of control, in an uncontrollable situation seemed to comfort him deeply. After all, this is what Hospice is all about ....... comfort. It was only right that I do what was asked of me.
When I handed him the sheets, he took his wallet out to give me money. So shook up by the whole thing, I don't even recall anything past the wallet. I don't remember me taking the money nor rejecting it, but whatever I did, it must have made Pete happy.
APPLICATION -
This evening, I was at Mom and Dad's house going over the Holiday schedule for the weeks to come. Mom and I found our way into her scrapbook room chatting like two best friends do. During our talk, Peter's sheet set came up. It was brief, hardly talked about and actually led into another topic of discussion. It stuck in the back of my mind throughout our chat, as I began reliving that day at Bed, Bath and Beyond. I began to feel Peter's spirit fill the space around me. After all, the scrapbook room was the room where Peter passed, making that moment of reflection even more real and impactful.
REFLECTION -
I feel death is very similar to birth. It's not an end, yet a re-birth of your spiritual self. When you are born, the nurse gently wraps you up in a birth blanket and hands you over to your mother. In this case, I was the nurse bringing Peter his second birth blanket, while his mother, yet again awaits his birth but this time, from the other side. Birth and Death are merely moments of un-experienced "newness"in which both are comforted in softness.
It was a heart crushing thing to do at the time, but it was in this state of helplessness, I was really helping the most.
A sad, but very vivid memory ...... our family preparing for Pete's hospice experience. I was shopping at Bed, Bath and Beyond when I received a phone call from Uncle Pete. His voice was worn as his sentences were broken up with severe hiccups that were being caused by the cancer. Nothing could prepare me to hear what was about to come out of his mouth. In a calm, relaxed voice he said "Hunny, can you pick up a pair of sheets for my hospice bed?" I stuttered over my words trying to find the simple one worded "yes" answer. I followed with "Any particular kind?" I know it wouldn't matter to him, but it was the only thing I could think of saying, still in a state of shock. I remember thinking to myself "These are the sheets he will die in" It had finally hit me of how real this whole thing was becoming. Death was approaching and there was nothing we could do but prepare, that's exactly what Pete did. As freaked out as I was by the whole thing, I was honored to do him one last favor. I ended up picking out the softest sheet set in the store. He deserved nothing but the best ..... all the way till the end.
With sheets at hand, I assured him I bought the comfiest. He thanked me and in a stern voice said " I'll pay you when you get here" I abruptly said " I got it covered, please just go rest" With Pete still maintaining the little independence he had left he said "Jenny, don't be silly, please take the money, I won't have you pay for this" At that moment, I realized that this had nothing to do with money. He was going to a place where money was no longer needed. I felt he wanted to stay in control with his hospice decision all the way down to the minor details. A sense of control, in an uncontrollable situation seemed to comfort him deeply. After all, this is what Hospice is all about ....... comfort. It was only right that I do what was asked of me.
When I handed him the sheets, he took his wallet out to give me money. So shook up by the whole thing, I don't even recall anything past the wallet. I don't remember me taking the money nor rejecting it, but whatever I did, it must have made Pete happy.
APPLICATION -
This evening, I was at Mom and Dad's house going over the Holiday schedule for the weeks to come. Mom and I found our way into her scrapbook room chatting like two best friends do. During our talk, Peter's sheet set came up. It was brief, hardly talked about and actually led into another topic of discussion. It stuck in the back of my mind throughout our chat, as I began reliving that day at Bed, Bath and Beyond. I began to feel Peter's spirit fill the space around me. After all, the scrapbook room was the room where Peter passed, making that moment of reflection even more real and impactful.
REFLECTION -
I feel death is very similar to birth. It's not an end, yet a re-birth of your spiritual self. When you are born, the nurse gently wraps you up in a birth blanket and hands you over to your mother. In this case, I was the nurse bringing Peter his second birth blanket, while his mother, yet again awaits his birth but this time, from the other side. Birth and Death are merely moments of un-experienced "newness"in which both are comforted in softness.
It was a heart crushing thing to do at the time, but it was in this state of helplessness, I was really helping the most.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Friend-ly Introduction - Day 80 of 365
MEMORY -
Everyone who was apart of me, was a part of my family. They knew my Uncle and the joy he brought to our hearts. I looked forward to introducing my closest of friends to him, he loved to see what company I kept! Some were crazy and loud, some were quiet and studious ...... didn't matter to him, if they were a friend of mine, they were a friend of his.
APPLICATION -
In the midst of a good conversation with a close friend, I realized this person never had the chance to meet Uncle Pete. It saddened me to know that there would be people in my life who would never get the chance to meet Peter. He was just one of those people who you thought the whole world should be acquainted with. The world would be a better place if there were more Peter DeLuca's.
My heart was put to ease when my friend said "It's through you I get to meet him. Although I haven't met him personally, I feel I already know so much about him"
REFLECTION -
I'm fortunate to have someone in my life who reminds me that Uncle Pete lives from within. He's in my soul and therefore remains alive and present for all to enjoy.
Everyone who was apart of me, was a part of my family. They knew my Uncle and the joy he brought to our hearts. I looked forward to introducing my closest of friends to him, he loved to see what company I kept! Some were crazy and loud, some were quiet and studious ...... didn't matter to him, if they were a friend of mine, they were a friend of his.
APPLICATION -
In the midst of a good conversation with a close friend, I realized this person never had the chance to meet Uncle Pete. It saddened me to know that there would be people in my life who would never get the chance to meet Peter. He was just one of those people who you thought the whole world should be acquainted with. The world would be a better place if there were more Peter DeLuca's.
My heart was put to ease when my friend said "It's through you I get to meet him. Although I haven't met him personally, I feel I already know so much about him"
REFLECTION -
I'm fortunate to have someone in my life who reminds me that Uncle Pete lives from within. He's in my soul and therefore remains alive and present for all to enjoy.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
A Christmas In Heaven - Day 79 of 365
MEMORY -
I remember the morning that Pete's mother passed away. It was December 15th, 1995. We emotionally woke up to the phone call we were all dreading to get. It was early in the morning and still dark outside. I remember the Christmas Tree shining unusually bright as if each light let off a neon glow. We collected our things and headed out the door to the hospital. Grandma had been sick for some time and suffering a little more as the days went on. As much as it saddened us to hear the news, we were thankful she was no longer in a state of suffering but rather in a state of love. My Dad and Uncle Pete took it hard, as it was their last immediate family member to pass. The boys helped each other to cope with the loss and kept her memory alive every chance they would get.
APPLICATION -
It was 15 years today that Grandma entered the gates of Heaven.
REFLECTION -
Uncle Pete and Grandma get to spend Christmas together this year ......... how awesome is that?!?!?
I remember the morning that Pete's mother passed away. It was December 15th, 1995. We emotionally woke up to the phone call we were all dreading to get. It was early in the morning and still dark outside. I remember the Christmas Tree shining unusually bright as if each light let off a neon glow. We collected our things and headed out the door to the hospital. Grandma had been sick for some time and suffering a little more as the days went on. As much as it saddened us to hear the news, we were thankful she was no longer in a state of suffering but rather in a state of love. My Dad and Uncle Pete took it hard, as it was their last immediate family member to pass. The boys helped each other to cope with the loss and kept her memory alive every chance they would get.
APPLICATION -
It was 15 years today that Grandma entered the gates of Heaven.
REFLECTION -
Uncle Pete and Grandma get to spend Christmas together this year ......... how awesome is that?!?!?
Pete On A Snow Tube - Day 78 of 365
This post is for Tuesday December 14th, 2010
MEMORY -
It was a memory from a few years back. Our family had gone on a magical snow vacation to Breckenridge. We all saw a side of Pete that we had never seen before. During one VERY cold afternoon, we decided to do a little snow tubing. It was the first time we had ever done something like this as a family and I have to say, it saddens me that it was the last.
We all took turns partnering up and plunging down the scariest of slopes. We each hooked onto each others tube and held on for dear life! The workers would count us off to 3, then push us down the icy path of bitter cold excitement! Pete and I partnered up a few times and boy was that fun! I'll never forget the thrilling look on his face while racing down the slope, he would bend his head down and nuzzle his mouth in his scarf protecting himself from the freezing wind. Each tube would slide to a stop, our noses frozen and our laughter loud with joy. Before I could help Pete get out of his tube, he was asking to go up the slope again. We even caught him a few times up on the slope going down by himself, soaking up a moment alone with his adrenaline rush and the soft falling snow. It was one of the many highlights our family experienced during week long vacation in Breckenridge.
APPLICATION -
I was in the kitchen when I heard "Oh my gosh! It's the snow tube ticket from Breckenridge!" Still attached to Erik's jacket was his snow tubing ticket. It was dated December 10th 2008. We sat for a second remembering what good times our family had together that week, the snow tubing being one of our favorites!
REFLECTION -
Special moments like this don't come around often. Having your loved ones near, all experiencing something new together on a beautiful snowy day in December, how fortunate we all were!
MEMORY -
It was a memory from a few years back. Our family had gone on a magical snow vacation to Breckenridge. We all saw a side of Pete that we had never seen before. During one VERY cold afternoon, we decided to do a little snow tubing. It was the first time we had ever done something like this as a family and I have to say, it saddens me that it was the last.
We all took turns partnering up and plunging down the scariest of slopes. We each hooked onto each others tube and held on for dear life! The workers would count us off to 3, then push us down the icy path of bitter cold excitement! Pete and I partnered up a few times and boy was that fun! I'll never forget the thrilling look on his face while racing down the slope, he would bend his head down and nuzzle his mouth in his scarf protecting himself from the freezing wind. Each tube would slide to a stop, our noses frozen and our laughter loud with joy. Before I could help Pete get out of his tube, he was asking to go up the slope again. We even caught him a few times up on the slope going down by himself, soaking up a moment alone with his adrenaline rush and the soft falling snow. It was one of the many highlights our family experienced during week long vacation in Breckenridge.
APPLICATION -
I was in the kitchen when I heard "Oh my gosh! It's the snow tube ticket from Breckenridge!" Still attached to Erik's jacket was his snow tubing ticket. It was dated December 10th 2008. We sat for a second remembering what good times our family had together that week, the snow tubing being one of our favorites!
REFLECTION -
Special moments like this don't come around often. Having your loved ones near, all experiencing something new together on a beautiful snowy day in December, how fortunate we all were!
Monday, December 13, 2010
Time Heals - Day 77 of 365
This post is for Monday, December 13th, 2010
MEMORY -
Missing Pete last Christmas. Missing him to the point of having to disconnect myself from the holidays all together.
APPLICATION -
I sit here in my living room admiring the Christmas decor that surrounds me. I have finally allowed myself to enjoy the holidays again, appreciating every memory I had with Pete in this house and at this time.
REFLECTION -
Only time heals.
MEMORY -
Missing Pete last Christmas. Missing him to the point of having to disconnect myself from the holidays all together.
APPLICATION -
I sit here in my living room admiring the Christmas decor that surrounds me. I have finally allowed myself to enjoy the holidays again, appreciating every memory I had with Pete in this house and at this time.
REFLECTION -
Only time heals.
Christmas Lights - Day 76 of 365
This post is for December 12th, 2010
MEMORY -
Pete's spirit touched mine many times throughout the years. The Christmas season seemed to be the time of year when his spirit seemed the most joyous and vibrant. You could feel it as soon as you were in his company. A feeling that eased the soul and melted the heart. He radiated of humor and love.
APPLICATION -
As I look at the the Christmas lights upon each house, I think of Pete's spirit a glow. So bright, so colorful. Each light having it's individual warm glow giving light to whatever was in it's presence. Much like Peter's spirit ...... colorfully bright and shedding light to whomever was in his company.
REFLECTION -
The light in a bulb will eventually burn out, while the light of a spirit will only grow brighter
MEMORY -
Pete's spirit touched mine many times throughout the years. The Christmas season seemed to be the time of year when his spirit seemed the most joyous and vibrant. You could feel it as soon as you were in his company. A feeling that eased the soul and melted the heart. He radiated of humor and love.
APPLICATION -
As I look at the the Christmas lights upon each house, I think of Pete's spirit a glow. So bright, so colorful. Each light having it's individual warm glow giving light to whatever was in it's presence. Much like Peter's spirit ...... colorfully bright and shedding light to whomever was in his company.
REFLECTION -
The light in a bulb will eventually burn out, while the light of a spirit will only grow brighter
Inner Child Magic - Day 75 of 365
This post is for Saturday December 11, 2010
MEMORY -
I was totally connected to Pete's inner child. He embraced that side of himself and shared it with our family quite often. He was DEFINITELY a BIG kid. Disney World would inspire that inner child to come out and play. No matter how many times he rode an attraction or stood on the side lines of a parade, he would be touched by a different level of magic every visit.
APPLICATION -
Tonight I brought a good friend to Disney. Walking through the park brought back some awesome memories of Pete and his inner child. An inner child playing with mine ..... creating magical memories for the both of us.
REFLECTION -
MEMORY -
I was totally connected to Pete's inner child. He embraced that side of himself and shared it with our family quite often. He was DEFINITELY a BIG kid. Disney World would inspire that inner child to come out and play. No matter how many times he rode an attraction or stood on the side lines of a parade, he would be touched by a different level of magic every visit.
APPLICATION -
Tonight I brought a good friend to Disney. Walking through the park brought back some awesome memories of Pete and his inner child. An inner child playing with mine ..... creating magical memories for the both of us.
REFLECTION -
His spirit was clearly with us in the parks ..... an ageless spirit that is now able to enjoy his inner child for the rest of eternity.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Light Switch - Day 74 of 365
MEMORY -
A portable light switch. Something so simple yet so highly effective when it came to "lights out time". I bought Peter the cool little gadget along with getting one for myself. He LOVED the "As Seen On T.V" product as much as I did. He'd pick it up, flip the switch, shouting out a sound of delight. I loved to see him get tickled over the small things in life.
APPLICATION -
Walking through CVS, I passed through the "As Seen On T.V" aisle. For just a moment, I looked through the products wondering what I would have bought him this Christmas if he was around.
When I got home, I walked into my room and grabbed my portable light switch. I flipped it on and off a few times, getting a simple thrill from the convenience of not having to walk to the wall or reach under the lamp shade.
REFLECTION -
Just like the switch, Pete's spirit is portable and always near by. He immediately brings me light so I don't have to walk through darkness to find it.
Finding Balance - Day 73 of 365
This blog is for Thursday December 9th, 2010
MEMORY -
MEMORY -
Peter had a very balanced life. Just enough time at work, just enough time at home. I admire people who are able to maintain balance in an often unbalanced world, he was one of those people.
APPLICATION -
Today was one of those days. The day when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed and find yourself staying there all day long. I had no energy, unable to put any out into the world. I had lost balance and needed to gain it back. I asked myself "What would Uncle Pete do?" In a matter of minutes, I got a text from my mom confirming our evening plans with the family. A hearty dinner and a night of board games was exactly what I needed. Pete would stop the chaos of his unbalanced day and regain it by doing the things he loved in the company of those who loved him.
REFLECTION -
A balanced life begins and ends at home.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
There When Needed - Day 72 of 365
MEMORY -
Whenever I was in the need for advice or inspiration, Pete was the man I turned too. It was on his couch, I would sit and listen, finding the answers to most of my questions.
APPLICATION -
Spent the last few months searching for inspiration. Today I sat on Pete's couch and instantly, inspiration was found. Questions were answered and troubles were put to ease.
REFLECTION -
I'm unable to see him, nor can I feel him although not forgetting he's everywhere around me speaking from within.
Whenever I was in the need for advice or inspiration, Pete was the man I turned too. It was on his couch, I would sit and listen, finding the answers to most of my questions.
APPLICATION -
Spent the last few months searching for inspiration. Today I sat on Pete's couch and instantly, inspiration was found. Questions were answered and troubles were put to ease.
REFLECTION -
I'm unable to see him, nor can I feel him although not forgetting he's everywhere around me speaking from within.
Carpet Cleaning Day - Day 71 of 365
This post is for Tuesday 12/7
MEMORY -
All of Uncle Pete's visits to my home. He would walk through the front door with the happiest of smiles, walk past the staircase, plop on the couch and say " What a beautiful home you have Jenny, I'm so proud of you" He created moments to remember for our entire family in each and every room.
APPLICATION -
I was very unpleased with a chore on my to do list today ..... shampooing the carpets!!!!!! As I would finish one room and move into another, memories of Pete would come into focus. The dinning room, where the stomach and soul were satisfied along with the living room, a place where stories and dreams came alive. Pete was apart of it all, each room having their own memories and energy.
REFLECTION -
Next time the carpet is due for a cleaning, I'll be less likely to close my eyes and complain but more likely to open my eyes and remember.
MEMORY -
All of Uncle Pete's visits to my home. He would walk through the front door with the happiest of smiles, walk past the staircase, plop on the couch and say " What a beautiful home you have Jenny, I'm so proud of you" He created moments to remember for our entire family in each and every room.
APPLICATION -
I was very unpleased with a chore on my to do list today ..... shampooing the carpets!!!!!! As I would finish one room and move into another, memories of Pete would come into focus. The dinning room, where the stomach and soul were satisfied along with the living room, a place where stories and dreams came alive. Pete was apart of it all, each room having their own memories and energy.
REFLECTION -
Next time the carpet is due for a cleaning, I'll be less likely to close my eyes and complain but more likely to open my eyes and remember.
Monday, December 6, 2010
A Book To Remember - Day 70 of 365
This post is for Monday 12/6
MEMORY -
I will never forget Pete's request to be cremated and put into an urn in the shape of a book. It represented all that he was while here on earth. Well worded, full of knowledge and always a page away from a good story.
APPLICATION -
Took a trip to my parents house today. While sitting in the living room with Dad, he spoke about wanting to have Christmas at their house, because that's where Pete was. "He's too heavy to lift and bring over to your house" Dad said jokingly with a smile.
REFLECTION -
A year ago, Dad would have never lightly spoken about Pete's urn like he did today. It was not a sign of disrespect, yet a sign of acceptance and healing. Peter wouldn't have wanted us to be sad every time we caught glance of his remains. It's comforting to watch over the physical part of the person that is no longer needed in the spiritual world. Pete is still very much alive continuing to be an open book for our entire family. The urn is simply a reminder of what he once was and what he needs not to be anymore.
MEMORY -
I will never forget Pete's request to be cremated and put into an urn in the shape of a book. It represented all that he was while here on earth. Well worded, full of knowledge and always a page away from a good story.
APPLICATION -
Took a trip to my parents house today. While sitting in the living room with Dad, he spoke about wanting to have Christmas at their house, because that's where Pete was. "He's too heavy to lift and bring over to your house" Dad said jokingly with a smile.
REFLECTION -
A year ago, Dad would have never lightly spoken about Pete's urn like he did today. It was not a sign of disrespect, yet a sign of acceptance and healing. Peter wouldn't have wanted us to be sad every time we caught glance of his remains. It's comforting to watch over the physical part of the person that is no longer needed in the spiritual world. Pete is still very much alive continuing to be an open book for our entire family. The urn is simply a reminder of what he once was and what he needs not to be anymore.
The Perfect Retirement - Day 69 of 365
This post is for Sunday Dec 5th, 2010
MEMORY -
I remember getting aggravated with the physical demands of Peter's job. As he grew older, I was more concerned with his well being at work. He was the manager of the same book distribution company for many years. He worked hard and was very dedicated to his career. Some mornings, he would need to be at the airport at 4:30 am to stock shelves and meet with store managers. The book filled totes he had to lift on and off the truck were extremely heavy and more than enough weight for a man of his age to be lifting. Pete hardly ever complained and did what he had to do. I on the other hand felt a weight of guilt on my shoulders. Owning a business and being my own boss was truly working a "retirement position". I could call my own shots, rest when I was tired, make good money and create flexible schedules. Not to mention my job as a dance instructor is pure fun and always a joy. Here is man, close to his retirement, doing the physical labors of an 18 year old kid. Over time, his aging body had more and more difficulty with the work at hand.
After all those years of hard work, his retirement was finally here. It wasn't long after when he was hit with life changing news. He had cancer that was completely untreatable and quickly spreading throughout his body. His days of work were coming to an end while his hard earned retirement was unable to begin.
APPLICATION -
I had a great weekend teaching dance for the students of New York and New Jersey. My evening was over and my body was feeling fatigued and a little sore. As I got out of the car, I slightly twisted my knee. I went inside, sat with an ice pack and began to think of Pete. I'm 27 and already feeling the results of aging, I can't imagine what aches and pains Peter experienced in his mid 60's working the job he did. He did it every day, and no matter how much it hurt to see it, he loved what he did. Pete would rather have felt the physical pains of the job than to feel the pain of having no job at all.
REFLECTION -
I commend Peter for all that he did for his company. I admire his dedication, physical labor and willingness to make the company the best it could be. On earth, he had an aching body and driven soul. Today, he continues to have the same driven soul without the distraction of the aching body, giving him the perfect retirement he was ever so deserving of.
MEMORY -
I remember getting aggravated with the physical demands of Peter's job. As he grew older, I was more concerned with his well being at work. He was the manager of the same book distribution company for many years. He worked hard and was very dedicated to his career. Some mornings, he would need to be at the airport at 4:30 am to stock shelves and meet with store managers. The book filled totes he had to lift on and off the truck were extremely heavy and more than enough weight for a man of his age to be lifting. Pete hardly ever complained and did what he had to do. I on the other hand felt a weight of guilt on my shoulders. Owning a business and being my own boss was truly working a "retirement position". I could call my own shots, rest when I was tired, make good money and create flexible schedules. Not to mention my job as a dance instructor is pure fun and always a joy. Here is man, close to his retirement, doing the physical labors of an 18 year old kid. Over time, his aging body had more and more difficulty with the work at hand.
After all those years of hard work, his retirement was finally here. It wasn't long after when he was hit with life changing news. He had cancer that was completely untreatable and quickly spreading throughout his body. His days of work were coming to an end while his hard earned retirement was unable to begin.
APPLICATION -
I had a great weekend teaching dance for the students of New York and New Jersey. My evening was over and my body was feeling fatigued and a little sore. As I got out of the car, I slightly twisted my knee. I went inside, sat with an ice pack and began to think of Pete. I'm 27 and already feeling the results of aging, I can't imagine what aches and pains Peter experienced in his mid 60's working the job he did. He did it every day, and no matter how much it hurt to see it, he loved what he did. Pete would rather have felt the physical pains of the job than to feel the pain of having no job at all.
REFLECTION -
I commend Peter for all that he did for his company. I admire his dedication, physical labor and willingness to make the company the best it could be. On earth, he had an aching body and driven soul. Today, he continues to have the same driven soul without the distraction of the aching body, giving him the perfect retirement he was ever so deserving of.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Christmas Tree Lane - Day 68 of 365
This post is for Saturday 12/4/2010
MEMORY -
Christmas was a time of year that brought about many traditions. One of my favorite traditions was Pete's very own "Christmas Tree Lane". We headed over to Uncle Pete's house to open gifts on Christmas morning. Pete welcomed us in, while the sound of Christmas carols rushed out the door. To our surprise, we were walked into a lane of snow covered presents. Peter had made a trail of presents that started at the front door and ended at the tree sitting in the living room. I walked down the trail in amazement, as I had never seen anything like this before. It was beautiful!!!!! He titled it "Christmas Tree Lane" and created it every year on Christmas morning. His way of spreading the magic on the most magical of holidays.
APPLICATION -
My lunch consisted of great company, great food and great memories. My friend and ate our way through a hearty Bar-B-Q platter while sharing family stories from past holiday celebrations. Pete's special tradition came up in conversation as I began to explain how happy I was to have surprised Pete with my own Christmas tree lane the year before he passed.
REFLECTION -
Magic can be pulled from a hat, out of a sleeve or even taken from sight. Pete's magic was pulled from his creativity, taken from his heart and presented for all to enjoy. Christmas Tree lane will forever be in my family. Preserving Uncle Pete's magic means more to me now than it ever did before.
MEMORY -
Christmas was a time of year that brought about many traditions. One of my favorite traditions was Pete's very own "Christmas Tree Lane". We headed over to Uncle Pete's house to open gifts on Christmas morning. Pete welcomed us in, while the sound of Christmas carols rushed out the door. To our surprise, we were walked into a lane of snow covered presents. Peter had made a trail of presents that started at the front door and ended at the tree sitting in the living room. I walked down the trail in amazement, as I had never seen anything like this before. It was beautiful!!!!! He titled it "Christmas Tree Lane" and created it every year on Christmas morning. His way of spreading the magic on the most magical of holidays.
APPLICATION -
My lunch consisted of great company, great food and great memories. My friend and ate our way through a hearty Bar-B-Q platter while sharing family stories from past holiday celebrations. Pete's special tradition came up in conversation as I began to explain how happy I was to have surprised Pete with my own Christmas tree lane the year before he passed.
REFLECTION -
Magic can be pulled from a hat, out of a sleeve or even taken from sight. Pete's magic was pulled from his creativity, taken from his heart and presented for all to enjoy. Christmas Tree lane will forever be in my family. Preserving Uncle Pete's magic means more to me now than it ever did before.
WIth Me All The Way -Day 67 of 365
This post is for Friday (12/3)
MEMORY -
He was one of my biggest cheerleaders in life. If I had a dream, he pumped me up to get out there and make it happen!
APPLICATION -
Starting my little side business"Blessing Bouquets" has kept me extremely busy. Today, I was sitting in my scrapbook room, creating a business plan for the year ahead. I caught sight of my table top Christmas tree that held my uncles ornaments. Within seconds, I was flooded with marketing ideas and short terms goals. My pen couldn't move fast enough, as my mind and spirit were fully entertained with exciting possibilities.
REFLECTION -
He still listens, he still guides ...... more now than ever, he feels the passion behind my dreams. I know he will be with me all the way, seeing me through the birth of my new business.
MEMORY -
He was one of my biggest cheerleaders in life. If I had a dream, he pumped me up to get out there and make it happen!
APPLICATION -
Starting my little side business"Blessing Bouquets" has kept me extremely busy. Today, I was sitting in my scrapbook room, creating a business plan for the year ahead. I caught sight of my table top Christmas tree that held my uncles ornaments. Within seconds, I was flooded with marketing ideas and short terms goals. My pen couldn't move fast enough, as my mind and spirit were fully entertained with exciting possibilities.
REFLECTION -
He still listens, he still guides ...... more now than ever, he feels the passion behind my dreams. I know he will be with me all the way, seeing me through the birth of my new business.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
The Bridal Collection - Day 66 of 365
MEMORY -
The year he had given me 12 mini old fashioned Christmas ornaments. They were in a white box with silver lettering. They were made in Germany, each one glistening with the finest glitter. They were the 12 blessings for newly weds. He had given them to me the year that Erik and I got married. December 2008. It was our last Christmas together. Last year, the family was sleep walking in a haze of mourning, we didn't celebrate like we had in the past. I remember looking at the box he had given me and realizing that I hadn't put them on a tree yet, nor was I going too. I had even gone out to buy a small desk tree to put them on, but I never got as far as opening the box. It was just too painful.
APPLICATION -
While continuing to decorate the house today, I came across the gorgeous box of ornaments from Uncle Pete. I took some time with the ornaments. This year, the holidays were reinvented and felt close to normal again. Without hesitation, I opening the box and began reading the descriptions given to each piece. I must have really had my mind elsewhere last year, I looked at the tree box and it was labeled "Lavender" ..... great .... a purple tree! I laughed to myself and plugged the tree into the wall anyways. The ornaments were girly looking, so I figured lavender was perfect!
I held each one in my hand for a while, thinking of Pete giving each one a gentle squeeze. When the tree was done, I began to cry. It's the second time since the night of his passing that I have allowed myself to take in the moment of missing him and let it all out. After a few minuets of crying, I stood the tree up in my scrapbook room on top of my television. Next to it, sat a gift I gave him for the holidays a few years back. It held tons of pictures of him caught in the most joyful of moments. Things in life come around full circle. It's now back in my care. His scrapbook sits there, keeping good watch over the blessings that hang from the lavender tree.
REFLECTION -
I'm thinking the box didn't need to be opened until the right time ..... today that time had come, meaning more to me than the day that it was received.
The year he had given me 12 mini old fashioned Christmas ornaments. They were in a white box with silver lettering. They were made in Germany, each one glistening with the finest glitter. They were the 12 blessings for newly weds. He had given them to me the year that Erik and I got married. December 2008. It was our last Christmas together. Last year, the family was sleep walking in a haze of mourning, we didn't celebrate like we had in the past. I remember looking at the box he had given me and realizing that I hadn't put them on a tree yet, nor was I going too. I had even gone out to buy a small desk tree to put them on, but I never got as far as opening the box. It was just too painful.
APPLICATION -
While continuing to decorate the house today, I came across the gorgeous box of ornaments from Uncle Pete. I took some time with the ornaments. This year, the holidays were reinvented and felt close to normal again. Without hesitation, I opening the box and began reading the descriptions given to each piece. I must have really had my mind elsewhere last year, I looked at the tree box and it was labeled "Lavender" ..... great .... a purple tree! I laughed to myself and plugged the tree into the wall anyways. The ornaments were girly looking, so I figured lavender was perfect!
I held each one in my hand for a while, thinking of Pete giving each one a gentle squeeze. When the tree was done, I began to cry. It's the second time since the night of his passing that I have allowed myself to take in the moment of missing him and let it all out. After a few minuets of crying, I stood the tree up in my scrapbook room on top of my television. Next to it, sat a gift I gave him for the holidays a few years back. It held tons of pictures of him caught in the most joyful of moments. Things in life come around full circle. It's now back in my care. His scrapbook sits there, keeping good watch over the blessings that hang from the lavender tree.
REFLECTION -
I'm thinking the box didn't need to be opened until the right time ..... today that time had come, meaning more to me than the day that it was received.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Pete's Penmanship - Day 65 of 365
MEMORY -
What is it about handwriting? When written by hand, words fall into an entirely different level of "personal" Uncle Pete had an interesting font. Sometimes, letters were capitalized in the middle of a word positioned at a slant, sometimes they weren't. His personality seem to flow onto the paper and into the ink, giving each letter a stroke of quirkiness. He was quite animated when he wrote. He'd raise his index finger to his face and give his glasses a courtesy bump up the nose. Once his sight was in check, he'd begin the writing. Just before lifting his pen from the paper, one final time, he'd end his last word with a quick stroke in an upward motion. His arm would fly in the air as if he just signed his life away, even if he was simply taking jotting down a number.
APPLICATION -
As I brought out the Christmas decorations from under the stairs, a gift bad caught my eye. The tag dangled from the handle stating "To Jenny, Love Uncle Pete xoxox" written out in his "interesting" font. I miss seeing his handwriting. I was fortunate to catch a glimpse of it this morning. One of those things you don't think you miss until it' isn't there anymore.
REFLECTION -
Amazing how Pete stays with me throughout my days. I feel him even through his penmanship!
What is it about handwriting? When written by hand, words fall into an entirely different level of "personal" Uncle Pete had an interesting font. Sometimes, letters were capitalized in the middle of a word positioned at a slant, sometimes they weren't. His personality seem to flow onto the paper and into the ink, giving each letter a stroke of quirkiness. He was quite animated when he wrote. He'd raise his index finger to his face and give his glasses a courtesy bump up the nose. Once his sight was in check, he'd begin the writing. Just before lifting his pen from the paper, one final time, he'd end his last word with a quick stroke in an upward motion. His arm would fly in the air as if he just signed his life away, even if he was simply taking jotting down a number.
APPLICATION -
As I brought out the Christmas decorations from under the stairs, a gift bad caught my eye. The tag dangled from the handle stating "To Jenny, Love Uncle Pete xoxox" written out in his "interesting" font. I miss seeing his handwriting. I was fortunate to catch a glimpse of it this morning. One of those things you don't think you miss until it' isn't there anymore.
REFLECTION -
Amazing how Pete stays with me throughout my days. I feel him even through his penmanship!
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