MEMORY -
Growing up in a house full of boys, I was raised with "playing rough" Pete and Dad would start these slapping spats between the two of them. Dad would come up behind Pete and bop him on the head, then quickly run the opposite direction. Within minutes, Pete would seek his revenge with a returned bop on my Dad's head, making sure it was twice as hard. This physical sign of brotherly love went on for years. I found this act to be most humorous as they grew older. Here are two grown men in their 50's and 60's running around the house like maniacs trying to bop the other harder than the last. Mom would shake her head and yell at the top of her lungs " That's enough already, you two are going to break something!!!!!"
As my Brother grew older, he was sucked into this "bopping fest"and found his role in the whole thing. He would sometimes side with Dad, sometimes with Pete. What is worse than TWO grown men running around and smacking each other? THREE of them!!!!
Since Pete was the elder in the family, I always took his side. Dad being 11 years younger than Pete, he was the quickest, but Peter was by far the smartest. He would casually say in a slow, coy voice " I'll get you back when you least expect it" Sure enough, he came through and what a sight to see! Pete would strike back when Dad was pre-occupied AND least expecting it! I loved to see Dad get a taste of his own medicine! Go Uncle Pete!
APPLICATION -
I had my Dad and Brother over for lunch this afternoon. When they were just about to be on their way, they began a bopping fest right in the middle of my living room. The craziness of laughter and yelling went on for about 5 mins until I finally kicked them out. I shut the door behind them, looked up and said " Uncle Pete .... what am I going to do with these boys? Can't you come back just to give em a good bop or two?" Obviously, there was no verbal response, however I felt his presence and knew that his spirit found humor in my moment of aggravation.
REFLECTION -
Everyone has their own ways of showing affection, even when there is "bopping" involved.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Pete's Pj's - Day 43 of 365
MEMORY -
Pete and his pajamas. He loved flannel Pj's and slippers. It was one of those items he would pay top dollar for too. He had to dress up for work everyday, so I am sure it felt great to come home and step into something more comfortable. Something about pajamas ........ it seemed that he had a different pair for every night of the week! He simply loved them!
APPLICATION -
After a long day of teaching, I went into my bedroom and fell backwards onto my bed. Just as fast as I fell backwards, I pushed myself forward onto my feet. Laying there in jeans, dress shirt and dance shoes wasn't cutting it! I slipped into the coziest pair of Pj's that I own and felt the "ahhhhhhh" feeling begin to take effect. It's a nice reward for the body after a hard days work. Pete had the right idea!
REFLECTION -
Not only did Pete's Pj's give him comfort, it was an official way to say good bye to the demands of his work day and hello to an evening of relaxation. He sure knew how to pamper himself, tonight I do the same and so should you!
Pete and his pajamas. He loved flannel Pj's and slippers. It was one of those items he would pay top dollar for too. He had to dress up for work everyday, so I am sure it felt great to come home and step into something more comfortable. Something about pajamas ........ it seemed that he had a different pair for every night of the week! He simply loved them!
APPLICATION -
After a long day of teaching, I went into my bedroom and fell backwards onto my bed. Just as fast as I fell backwards, I pushed myself forward onto my feet. Laying there in jeans, dress shirt and dance shoes wasn't cutting it! I slipped into the coziest pair of Pj's that I own and felt the "ahhhhhhh" feeling begin to take effect. It's a nice reward for the body after a hard days work. Pete had the right idea!
REFLECTION -
Not only did Pete's Pj's give him comfort, it was an official way to say good bye to the demands of his work day and hello to an evening of relaxation. He sure knew how to pamper himself, tonight I do the same and so should you!
Monday, November 8, 2010
A Little Lie Down - Day 42 of 365
MEMORY -
Right before Pete would take a nap , he would stand at the top of the stairs and in a projected voice announce to the whole family "I'm going to have a little lie down now" A nice way of informing us he was taking a nap, hoping everyone would be quiet!
APPLICATION -
Monday, my day off. As much as I wanted to be productive, I knew it was best to rest. I can't do much on muscle relaxers except sleep ..... so that's what I did. I popped my meds, covered my back with Tiger Balm and headed to bed. Just before I drifted off to sleep, I remembered Pete and his cat naps. I was having more than just a "little lie down" but I still referred to it as that, when I was asked what I did today.
REFLECTION -
I really miss the authentic "Pete Statements", this being one of them
Right before Pete would take a nap , he would stand at the top of the stairs and in a projected voice announce to the whole family "I'm going to have a little lie down now" A nice way of informing us he was taking a nap, hoping everyone would be quiet!
APPLICATION -
Monday, my day off. As much as I wanted to be productive, I knew it was best to rest. I can't do much on muscle relaxers except sleep ..... so that's what I did. I popped my meds, covered my back with Tiger Balm and headed to bed. Just before I drifted off to sleep, I remembered Pete and his cat naps. I was having more than just a "little lie down" but I still referred to it as that, when I was asked what I did today.
REFLECTION -
I really miss the authentic "Pete Statements", this being one of them
Sunday, November 7, 2010
No Title Needed - Day 41 of 365
MEMORY -
Peter was more than just an Uncle. He was a teacher, comedian and friend.
APPLICATION -
Tonight, Erik and I had Mom and Dad over for some drinks. As I sat in their company, It dawned on me that they are beginning to take on new titles in my life just as Pete did. Between each sip of wine, I looked around the room and realized something, my parents were so fun to be around. The older I am getting, the more I seem to be connecting them to new titles, and honestly it feels great. They are still "Mom" and "Dad" and I am still their baby girl, but tonight we were a tight group of friends enjoying each others company over a few drinks. I would be lying if I didn't admit that being in their life as an adult is loads of fun!
I never told Peter how grateful I was for all the roles he played in my life. The title "Uncle" was a bit of an understatement.
REFLECTION -
It's funny how "titles" can't begin to reveal the real roles people play in your lives. If there is someone in your world who goes beyond their given "title", share your appreciation for the awesome impact they have made.
Peter was more than just an Uncle. He was a teacher, comedian and friend.
APPLICATION -
Tonight, Erik and I had Mom and Dad over for some drinks. As I sat in their company, It dawned on me that they are beginning to take on new titles in my life just as Pete did. Between each sip of wine, I looked around the room and realized something, my parents were so fun to be around. The older I am getting, the more I seem to be connecting them to new titles, and honestly it feels great. They are still "Mom" and "Dad" and I am still their baby girl, but tonight we were a tight group of friends enjoying each others company over a few drinks. I would be lying if I didn't admit that being in their life as an adult is loads of fun!
I never told Peter how grateful I was for all the roles he played in my life. The title "Uncle" was a bit of an understatement.
REFLECTION -
It's funny how "titles" can't begin to reveal the real roles people play in your lives. If there is someone in your world who goes beyond their given "title", share your appreciation for the awesome impact they have made.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
" I ....L ...OVE YOU! " - Day 40 of 365
MEMORY -
It was a tradition that ended every New Year celebration. Uncle Pete would treat the family to a huge dinner at the "Chef's Table" in Buca di Beppo. Once, he ended up drinking one too many chocolate martini's and was causing a real ruckus in the kitchen. It wasn't often Peter had a drink, so 3 martini's were enough to throw him under the table. As the guests would get a tour of the kitchen, Peter would yell out in a slurred drunken voice " I .... L.....OVE YOU!!!!!!" The families that walked in were his LOVE victims whether they wanted to be or not. The adults would walk faster and look away as if they didn't see the funny man to their right, and the children all look a little scared as they clung on to their parents. We were all laughing hysterically. He loved everyone that night but I don't think everyone loved him!
APPLICATION -
This evening, Erik took me out to Buca's for dinner. The wait was too long, so we sat at the bar. Since I wasn't driving and in lots of pain, I decided to pop a muscle relaxer for my back spasms. It began to work quickly, relaxing everything including my eyelids. As my eyes were turning into jello, I caught a fuzzy glimpse of the entrance to the kitchen where Uncle Pete drank his martinis. I was going to get a chocolate martini until I realized I was on heavy meds. O well, the memories of drunkin good times was enough to make me smile and tell my husband "I.... L....OVE YOU!"
REFLECTION -
Never drink more than you can handle, you just might start loving people you don't even know!
It was a tradition that ended every New Year celebration. Uncle Pete would treat the family to a huge dinner at the "Chef's Table" in Buca di Beppo. Once, he ended up drinking one too many chocolate martini's and was causing a real ruckus in the kitchen. It wasn't often Peter had a drink, so 3 martini's were enough to throw him under the table. As the guests would get a tour of the kitchen, Peter would yell out in a slurred drunken voice " I .... L.....OVE YOU!!!!!!" The families that walked in were his LOVE victims whether they wanted to be or not. The adults would walk faster and look away as if they didn't see the funny man to their right, and the children all look a little scared as they clung on to their parents. We were all laughing hysterically. He loved everyone that night but I don't think everyone loved him!
APPLICATION -
This evening, Erik took me out to Buca's for dinner. The wait was too long, so we sat at the bar. Since I wasn't driving and in lots of pain, I decided to pop a muscle relaxer for my back spasms. It began to work quickly, relaxing everything including my eyelids. As my eyes were turning into jello, I caught a fuzzy glimpse of the entrance to the kitchen where Uncle Pete drank his martinis. I was going to get a chocolate martini until I realized I was on heavy meds. O well, the memories of drunkin good times was enough to make me smile and tell my husband "I.... L....OVE YOU!"
REFLECTION -
Never drink more than you can handle, you just might start loving people you don't even know!
Friday, November 5, 2010
Pain - Day 39 of 365
MEMORY -
The moment's of emotional and physical pain Peter experienced when the cancer was invading his body and taking over his world.
APPLICATION -
I saw the Dr today. Having severe neck and back spasms for the past week, I reached an unbearable point this afternoon and needed muscle relaxers asap. As I was sitting in the waiting room, I remembered Pete and how uncomfortable he was before he was put on in home Hospice and given pain medication. He couldn't hold anything down, not even water. He had ongoing hiccups that would hurt and prevent him from sleeping. He began to loose eye sight rather quickly. He had to mourn the death of his career and distance himself from his loved ones. The list goes on ..... and so did the pain. All of a sudden, the sharp pain down my back became pleasantly dull as I realized there was no true comparison.
REFLECTION -
Pain is an interesting thing. We all experience it in one capacity or another. Within the last few weeks of Pete's life, he went through it emotionally and physically hardly ever needing to complain. Tonight, I take my pills, and I take them in silence. No crying, no fussing. To complain, only creates greater pain. Take the "L" out of the word and you have "Com-pain" !!!!
The moment's of emotional and physical pain Peter experienced when the cancer was invading his body and taking over his world.
APPLICATION -
I saw the Dr today. Having severe neck and back spasms for the past week, I reached an unbearable point this afternoon and needed muscle relaxers asap. As I was sitting in the waiting room, I remembered Pete and how uncomfortable he was before he was put on in home Hospice and given pain medication. He couldn't hold anything down, not even water. He had ongoing hiccups that would hurt and prevent him from sleeping. He began to loose eye sight rather quickly. He had to mourn the death of his career and distance himself from his loved ones. The list goes on ..... and so did the pain. All of a sudden, the sharp pain down my back became pleasantly dull as I realized there was no true comparison.
REFLECTION -
Pain is an interesting thing. We all experience it in one capacity or another. Within the last few weeks of Pete's life, he went through it emotionally and physically hardly ever needing to complain. Tonight, I take my pills, and I take them in silence. No crying, no fussing. To complain, only creates greater pain. Take the "L" out of the word and you have "Com-pain" !!!!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
His Little Audrey Hepburn - Day 38 of 365
MEMORY -
For as long as I can remember, Uncle Pete referred to me as "his little Audrey Hepburn" When I wore my hair in a bun, he would comment that I had a long beautiful neck like Audrey. As a kid, I never knew who he was referring too, but as I grew older Miss Hepburn became one of my favorite actresses. Her feminine sense of style was stunningly timeless and her movies .....classic.
APPLICATION -
Last year for Christmas, one of my students gave me an Audrey Hepburn calendar. Today, the month of October caught my eye. A picture of Audrey peering out of car window flashing the camera a look of pure innocence. She really was beautiful. I took a moment and thought about Pete's appreciation for her acting and natural beauty. She was definitely the Diva of her time!
REFLECTION -
Certain people come into our lives who remind us of others. A friend could remind you of a family member, or a family member could remind you of an actor. They might not always agree, but that doesn't matter. No matter how many times I would disagreed with Pete , he saw me as his "Little Audrey Hepburn". I was honored to resemble such beauty in my Uncle's mind, whether I believed it or not.
For as long as I can remember, Uncle Pete referred to me as "his little Audrey Hepburn" When I wore my hair in a bun, he would comment that I had a long beautiful neck like Audrey. As a kid, I never knew who he was referring too, but as I grew older Miss Hepburn became one of my favorite actresses. Her feminine sense of style was stunningly timeless and her movies .....classic.
APPLICATION -
Last year for Christmas, one of my students gave me an Audrey Hepburn calendar. Today, the month of October caught my eye. A picture of Audrey peering out of car window flashing the camera a look of pure innocence. She really was beautiful. I took a moment and thought about Pete's appreciation for her acting and natural beauty. She was definitely the Diva of her time!
REFLECTION -
Certain people come into our lives who remind us of others. A friend could remind you of a family member, or a family member could remind you of an actor. They might not always agree, but that doesn't matter. No matter how many times I would disagreed with Pete , he saw me as his "Little Audrey Hepburn". I was honored to resemble such beauty in my Uncle's mind, whether I believed it or not.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Massage Surprise - Day 37 of 365
MEMORY -
Pete was uncomfortably surprised with a gifted massage for his birthday. Mom felt like it did wonders for her body and thought Pete would enjoy the treatment. Since Pete had never had a massage before, idea of getting naked in front of a total stranger left him perplexed and extremely nervous. He thought mom was taking him on a tour of the facility. He knew she had something up her sleeve once he heard from the front desk girl "Peter ...... are you ready for your massage?" Mom smiled and waved goodbye as Peter ever so hesitantly followed the girl into the massage room.
He came out like a sac of potatoes and smelling of mixed oils. He grinned and said "I got to wear a robe and sit in the spa! The massage was amazing. I enjoyed it .....maybe a bit too much, had trouble rolling over!" Mom belted out in laughter. It just wasn't something you would hear out of Pete. The comment totally caught her off guard and left her laughing the entire drive home.
APPLICATION -
Throughout a conversation I had with mom, we got on the subject of Pete and his massage story. After we shared a good laugh, I was motivated to treat myself to a day of pampering at the local spa. My massage was wonderful and ever so peaceful! I giggled to myself after I heard the therapist say "Okay, you may roll over now" thinking of Pete and his spa story.
REFLECTION -
Pete learned something that day ..... getting naked in front of a stranger isn't as hard as some things can be!!!! LOL!!!! Today, try something new ..... even if it makes you uncomfortable. You might surprise yourself and actually enjoy it, maybe even a little too much!
Pete was uncomfortably surprised with a gifted massage for his birthday. Mom felt like it did wonders for her body and thought Pete would enjoy the treatment. Since Pete had never had a massage before, idea of getting naked in front of a total stranger left him perplexed and extremely nervous. He thought mom was taking him on a tour of the facility. He knew she had something up her sleeve once he heard from the front desk girl "Peter ...... are you ready for your massage?" Mom smiled and waved goodbye as Peter ever so hesitantly followed the girl into the massage room.
He came out like a sac of potatoes and smelling of mixed oils. He grinned and said "I got to wear a robe and sit in the spa! The massage was amazing. I enjoyed it .....maybe a bit too much, had trouble rolling over!" Mom belted out in laughter. It just wasn't something you would hear out of Pete. The comment totally caught her off guard and left her laughing the entire drive home.
APPLICATION -
Throughout a conversation I had with mom, we got on the subject of Pete and his massage story. After we shared a good laugh, I was motivated to treat myself to a day of pampering at the local spa. My massage was wonderful and ever so peaceful! I giggled to myself after I heard the therapist say "Okay, you may roll over now" thinking of Pete and his spa story.
REFLECTION -
Pete learned something that day ..... getting naked in front of a stranger isn't as hard as some things can be!!!! LOL!!!! Today, try something new ..... even if it makes you uncomfortable. You might surprise yourself and actually enjoy it, maybe even a little too much!
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Couch Of Conversation - Day 36 of 365
MEMORY -
Walking into Peter's room, I remember his beige leather couch. I would plop onto the over sized cushions and sink into a leather hug of comfort. I loved that couch. For Peter, it was more than just a couch ..... it was a place of conversation. He would sit ever so comfortably in his computer chair and invite visitors to sit across from him on his couch. On some occasions, I felt similar to the way a patient does while visiting her shrink. I asked questions, he had the answers. The last conversation we had on that couch, was the first time I saw him after he was diagnosed with the worse news ever.
He seemed tired and depressed but extremely happy to see me. I took the cushion next to him, and joined in on watching the movie "Enchanted". He asked me if I had see it. Before I could answer "yes", he grabbed my hand and held it tightly. It hit me then, he didn't want awkward conversation, he wanted physical contact. What do you say to someone who has just been told they only have a matter of weeks to live? Nothing at all. As much as I wanted to run my mouth and tell him how much I'm going to miss him, I could feel in my heart, he already knew.
APPLICATION -
I was given Peter's couch late last year. It sits in our movie loft - the only appropriate space for a piece of furniture that seated the movie king himself. Erik and I sat across from it this evening while watching a Red Box rental. It stole my attention during the movie and showed me a movie reel of it's own. Memory after memory came into clear focus as if I was watching a Blu-ray disc of my past.
REFLECTION -
Last Fall, the couch had taken on a new purpose. Once a couch of many words, now a place of silent company. This fall, it remains in silence being the perfect place for Pete and I to continue our conversations. It's still a couch of conversation, only now there is no need for words.
Walking into Peter's room, I remember his beige leather couch. I would plop onto the over sized cushions and sink into a leather hug of comfort. I loved that couch. For Peter, it was more than just a couch ..... it was a place of conversation. He would sit ever so comfortably in his computer chair and invite visitors to sit across from him on his couch. On some occasions, I felt similar to the way a patient does while visiting her shrink. I asked questions, he had the answers. The last conversation we had on that couch, was the first time I saw him after he was diagnosed with the worse news ever.
He seemed tired and depressed but extremely happy to see me. I took the cushion next to him, and joined in on watching the movie "Enchanted". He asked me if I had see it. Before I could answer "yes", he grabbed my hand and held it tightly. It hit me then, he didn't want awkward conversation, he wanted physical contact. What do you say to someone who has just been told they only have a matter of weeks to live? Nothing at all. As much as I wanted to run my mouth and tell him how much I'm going to miss him, I could feel in my heart, he already knew.
APPLICATION -
I was given Peter's couch late last year. It sits in our movie loft - the only appropriate space for a piece of furniture that seated the movie king himself. Erik and I sat across from it this evening while watching a Red Box rental. It stole my attention during the movie and showed me a movie reel of it's own. Memory after memory came into clear focus as if I was watching a Blu-ray disc of my past.
REFLECTION -
Last Fall, the couch had taken on a new purpose. Once a couch of many words, now a place of silent company. This fall, it remains in silence being the perfect place for Pete and I to continue our conversations. It's still a couch of conversation, only now there is no need for words.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Stupid? I Think Not! - Day 35 of 365
MEMORY -
SHTUPID - Pronounced - Sh*tu*pid - Adj:
Emphasis on the SH-tu-pid
DEFINITION -
1) A word that was used more often than not when Peter disagreed with something or felt offended
2) Used frequently while losing in a fierce game of UNO
3) Commonly shouted out when told a story of disbelief
4) May be used by others in place of the original word "stupid"
APPLICATION -
Tonight, my husband pointed out a funny moment during a sitcom. I didn't laugh, I just shrugged my shoulders and said "Sh-tupid!" I've never said that word before in my life! I laughed to myself and wondered what Peter would have thought of that scene. It tickles me that I speak his words without even thinking about it! Guess he made quite an impact in his moments of little outbursts.
REFLECTION -
Pete loved to put his own spin on the English Vocabulary. I guess you could say, he Peter-ized it!
Today, take a word you commonly use and put YOUR own spin on it. Be sure to use it when you can, someone could find it catchy and use it too help express their feelings! IF unable to think of your own, I give you all permission to use Pete's, even if it is ....... SHTUPID!
SHTUPID - Pronounced - Sh*tu*pid - Adj:
Emphasis on the SH-tu-pid
DEFINITION -
1) A word that was used more often than not when Peter disagreed with something or felt offended
2) Used frequently while losing in a fierce game of UNO
3) Commonly shouted out when told a story of disbelief
4) May be used by others in place of the original word "stupid"
APPLICATION -
Tonight, my husband pointed out a funny moment during a sitcom. I didn't laugh, I just shrugged my shoulders and said "Sh-tupid!" I've never said that word before in my life! I laughed to myself and wondered what Peter would have thought of that scene. It tickles me that I speak his words without even thinking about it! Guess he made quite an impact in his moments of little outbursts.
REFLECTION -
Pete loved to put his own spin on the English Vocabulary. I guess you could say, he Peter-ized it!
Today, take a word you commonly use and put YOUR own spin on it. Be sure to use it when you can, someone could find it catchy and use it too help express their feelings! IF unable to think of your own, I give you all permission to use Pete's, even if it is ....... SHTUPID!
Sunday, October 31, 2010
The Candy Man - Day 34 of 36
MEMORY -
Halloween wasn't Peter's favorite holiday, but he loved handing out the candy! He enjoyed seeing all the kids dressed up and playing their parts. He was a kid at heart ..... I'm sure it delighted the little costume covered boy inside.
APPLICATION -
Tonight, I decided to hand out candy to the kids. First time ever! Im usually on the road for business during the spooky holiday, but this year I had it off! Never had such a good time at my door step. Unfortunately, I ran out of candy within no time. Note to self : More candy = More fun!
REFLECTION -
Adults who hand out candy are simply big kids giving back to their inner child
Halloween wasn't Peter's favorite holiday, but he loved handing out the candy! He enjoyed seeing all the kids dressed up and playing their parts. He was a kid at heart ..... I'm sure it delighted the little costume covered boy inside.
APPLICATION -
Tonight, I decided to hand out candy to the kids. First time ever! Im usually on the road for business during the spooky holiday, but this year I had it off! Never had such a good time at my door step. Unfortunately, I ran out of candy within no time. Note to self : More candy = More fun!
REFLECTION -
Adults who hand out candy are simply big kids giving back to their inner child
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Man Of Many Faces - Day 33 of 365
MEMORY -
Uncle Pete. A man of few words but a man of many faces.
I don't think he ever realized how animated he really was. If you weren't captured by his words, his facial reactions would surely draw you in. It was always fun to watch his response to something that caught him off guard. He would close his eyes, give his head a quick shake from side to side, let out a sound of shock beneath his breath and yell "WHAT?" in a short toned voice. The look of puzzlement seem to capture my attention. Didn't see that face too often. Nothing puzzled Pete, he seemed to know all ....... all the time.
APPLICATION -
I was going through some files on my computer, when I came across a family vacation aboard a Royal Caribbean Cruise Ship. I flipped through the photos in amazement. Every picture of Pete was different. The rest of the family had similar facial expressions throughout the whole trip, but Peter stood out!
REFLECTION -
Pete did more than just smile for the camera. He gave the person behind the lens something more to look at. A few of my favorites moments caught on film:
A magical smile after an unforgettable sleigh ride
The longest sad face imaginable, covered with silly string
The "Proud Uncle" grin as he helps me unwrap my first Mac laptop
Face of curiosity as he observes a drunk man putting a beer bottle into the hand of a Caesar statue
Eyes of delight as he kicks through a street of foam snow while listening to Christmas carols
Standing in "awe" while taking a photograph of a historical statue
The face that could say a thousand words, as he points to the spot on Chicago ground where we'd make snow angels in the past years.
Then of course ...... the face of absolute surprise, when he realizes he is falling out of his lounge chair as a result of drinking too many Coco Locos!
Out of all the different faces Pete demonstrated, I noticed that one in particular remained consistent. Every picture that him and I were together, his face glows with complete wholeness that tells the world "I'm with my Jenny and that's all that matters"
Uncle Pete. A man of few words but a man of many faces.
I don't think he ever realized how animated he really was. If you weren't captured by his words, his facial reactions would surely draw you in. It was always fun to watch his response to something that caught him off guard. He would close his eyes, give his head a quick shake from side to side, let out a sound of shock beneath his breath and yell "WHAT?" in a short toned voice. The look of puzzlement seem to capture my attention. Didn't see that face too often. Nothing puzzled Pete, he seemed to know all ....... all the time.
APPLICATION -
I was going through some files on my computer, when I came across a family vacation aboard a Royal Caribbean Cruise Ship. I flipped through the photos in amazement. Every picture of Pete was different. The rest of the family had similar facial expressions throughout the whole trip, but Peter stood out!
REFLECTION -
Pete did more than just smile for the camera. He gave the person behind the lens something more to look at. A few of my favorites moments caught on film:
A magical smile after an unforgettable sleigh ride
The longest sad face imaginable, covered with silly string
The "Proud Uncle" grin as he helps me unwrap my first Mac laptop
Face of curiosity as he observes a drunk man putting a beer bottle into the hand of a Caesar statue
Eyes of delight as he kicks through a street of foam snow while listening to Christmas carols
Standing in "awe" while taking a photograph of a historical statue
The face that could say a thousand words, as he points to the spot on Chicago ground where we'd make snow angels in the past years.
Then of course ...... the face of absolute surprise, when he realizes he is falling out of his lounge chair as a result of drinking too many Coco Locos!
Out of all the different faces Pete demonstrated, I noticed that one in particular remained consistent. Every picture that him and I were together, his face glows with complete wholeness that tells the world "I'm with my Jenny and that's all that matters"
Friday, October 29, 2010
Stillness - Day 32 of 365
Today was a day of great Enlightenment. I was able reach a point of stillness within the present moment throughout my day and it was amazing!!!!!
I was in my car, leaving the neighborhood, when I noticed I was coming up to a stop sign. Upon approaching the sign, I heard the most beautiful song being sung by a bird in the tree off to my right. For the first time in my life, I stopped at a stop sign because I wanted to, NOT because I had to. After I made a complete stop, I looked to my right, looked to my left and caught the view behind me. There was no one around, so I remained stopped. I took a deep breath of natures air, released my grip of the steering wheel and enjoyed a few rare moments of parked stillness.
MEMORY -
Pete lived life to it's fullest through stillness. It wasn't uncommon to find him quiet to himself with a smile on his face.
APPLICATION -
Throughout my day, I was aware of the present moment, allowed stillness to take place and effortlessly just "was"
REFLECTION -
It was at that stop sign, I seem to be living the life I was intended to live. There were no thoughts about the past, nor about the future. I was present in the NOW .... and NOW I understand. I understand Pete's way of living , just a little bit more today than I did yesterday.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Life Unwrapped - Day 31 of 365
MEMORY -
Gifts of mystery wrapped ever so perfectly waiting to be opened. Every occasion where gifts were given, you could always recognize the ones from Pete. He paid so much attention to detail, from the way the paper was folded to the hidden pieces of tape that held all the sides together. The tag in which our names were written upon were just as beautiful as the gift wrapping underneath. His gifts were so magically presented, I never wanted to unwrap them.
This memory reminded me of Leo Buscaglia, a man that spoke to my Uncle through his lectures. A college professor who gave many people the insight on what we were born to do. Born to love.
One philosophy of Leo's that Peter seemed to really connected with was "Life is a gift .... it bothers me that most people don't take the opportunity to take off the ribbon, rip it open and enjoy what's inside"
Pete did more than just open HIS gift of life, he taught others how to open theirs. When he handed me a gift, I would tell him " It's so beautiful, I don't want to ruin it by unwrapping it" I would take my time, attempting to keep the packaging intact as if I were to use it again for another celebration. Peter would yell at me " O- don't worry about the paper, just unwrap the darn thing!"
APPLICATION -
Tonight, I watched Leo's lecture "Born To Love" the same lecture that spoke to my uncle so long ago
REFLECTION -
Life IS a gift and our giver is waiting for us to unwrap it. Live in love and enjoy what's inside!
Gifts of mystery wrapped ever so perfectly waiting to be opened. Every occasion where gifts were given, you could always recognize the ones from Pete. He paid so much attention to detail, from the way the paper was folded to the hidden pieces of tape that held all the sides together. The tag in which our names were written upon were just as beautiful as the gift wrapping underneath. His gifts were so magically presented, I never wanted to unwrap them.
This memory reminded me of Leo Buscaglia, a man that spoke to my Uncle through his lectures. A college professor who gave many people the insight on what we were born to do. Born to love.
One philosophy of Leo's that Peter seemed to really connected with was "Life is a gift .... it bothers me that most people don't take the opportunity to take off the ribbon, rip it open and enjoy what's inside"
Pete did more than just open HIS gift of life, he taught others how to open theirs. When he handed me a gift, I would tell him " It's so beautiful, I don't want to ruin it by unwrapping it" I would take my time, attempting to keep the packaging intact as if I were to use it again for another celebration. Peter would yell at me " O- don't worry about the paper, just unwrap the darn thing!"
APPLICATION -
Tonight, I watched Leo's lecture "Born To Love" the same lecture that spoke to my uncle so long ago
REFLECTION -
Life IS a gift and our giver is waiting for us to unwrap it. Live in love and enjoy what's inside!
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Intrigued By Incense - Day 30 of 365
MEMORY -
It was a cylinder of shiny silver metal. The cut out designs that were set throughout, intricately released the scent of soft vanilla into the air. Pete's incense burner caught my eye upon every visit. It gave off a relaxing aroma that seemed to fill his room with meditative energy. I would always comment on the beauty it held. It was so unusually different, something about it spoke to me.
APPLICATION -
Today I took some time to meditate on the past month since I started this blog. It has really changed my perspective on life. I simply have allowed life to happen.
During this time of meditation, I decided to use Uncle Pete's burner. I watched as the incense danced it's way into the air. I studied the gray colored shapes that had left the burner. Found myself getting lost in the movement of the scented smoke feeling my mind getting quieter and quieter.
REFLECTION -
Meditation is unattainable when our minds are racing with thoughts. Today the incense was my tool to silence my thoughts and open my heart. It worked beautifully as I am sure Pete would agree.
It was a cylinder of shiny silver metal. The cut out designs that were set throughout, intricately released the scent of soft vanilla into the air. Pete's incense burner caught my eye upon every visit. It gave off a relaxing aroma that seemed to fill his room with meditative energy. I would always comment on the beauty it held. It was so unusually different, something about it spoke to me.
APPLICATION -
Today I took some time to meditate on the past month since I started this blog. It has really changed my perspective on life. I simply have allowed life to happen.
During this time of meditation, I decided to use Uncle Pete's burner. I watched as the incense danced it's way into the air. I studied the gray colored shapes that had left the burner. Found myself getting lost in the movement of the scented smoke feeling my mind getting quieter and quieter.
REFLECTION -
Meditation is unattainable when our minds are racing with thoughts. Today the incense was my tool to silence my thoughts and open my heart. It worked beautifully as I am sure Pete would agree.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Snow Globe of Love - Day 29 of 365
MEMORY -
A snow trip! In 2008, our family decided to take a magical vacation, one we will never forget. We had the time of our lives in the life size snow globe I call Breckenridge. Among the activities, food and shopping, we all found moments of pure bliss. During that week we seemed to have everything we ever needed all at one point in time. The feeling of joyousness that the holiday season brought to our door step. The sense of security and comfort, sleeping in a sturdy log cabin that was surrounded by God's most beautiful creations. The fun of tapping into each others inner child while playing in the snow. Allowing as much time as needed to prepare home made meals to enjoy at our convenience. The stillness that calmed our spirits as we would sit by the fire to keep warm. The unforgettable rush of adrenaline that raced through our bodies while snow tubing. The feeling of surprise we experienced when Santa Clause greeted us next to a limo awaiting our arrival for a tour of the city. The magic that filled our hearts the night we went on a real sleigh ride!
We had it all and Pete realized that more than anyone! Peter seemed to be relishing in EVERY moment taking notice to how lucky we were all were to have this opportunity and experience it together. I had NEVER seen Peter as happy as I did during that week.
I decided to take all the photos that were taken on that trip and display them in a rotating photo box, wrap it all up and give it to Pete for Christmas. When received, he flipped through the individual albums that were set inside and sat in awe. I could tell he was re-living those special moments one by one. He kept the photo box next to his couch and looked through the pictures quite often. He always told me that box of memories was the best gift received all year long.
APPLICATION -
The photo box now sits upstairs in my loft next to his couch. The two kinda go together I guess. I spent some time with the photos this evening. I have never seen our family so content. Something about our spirits seemed different that week. Tonight as I look at our pictures .... I realize what it was ...... Love....... 100% Love.
REFLECTION -
My definition of Breckenridge 2008 ............ A snow globe of love.
In just a few words, capture your most memorable trip.
A snow trip! In 2008, our family decided to take a magical vacation, one we will never forget. We had the time of our lives in the life size snow globe I call Breckenridge. Among the activities, food and shopping, we all found moments of pure bliss. During that week we seemed to have everything we ever needed all at one point in time. The feeling of joyousness that the holiday season brought to our door step. The sense of security and comfort, sleeping in a sturdy log cabin that was surrounded by God's most beautiful creations. The fun of tapping into each others inner child while playing in the snow. Allowing as much time as needed to prepare home made meals to enjoy at our convenience. The stillness that calmed our spirits as we would sit by the fire to keep warm. The unforgettable rush of adrenaline that raced through our bodies while snow tubing. The feeling of surprise we experienced when Santa Clause greeted us next to a limo awaiting our arrival for a tour of the city. The magic that filled our hearts the night we went on a real sleigh ride!
We had it all and Pete realized that more than anyone! Peter seemed to be relishing in EVERY moment taking notice to how lucky we were all were to have this opportunity and experience it together. I had NEVER seen Peter as happy as I did during that week.
I decided to take all the photos that were taken on that trip and display them in a rotating photo box, wrap it all up and give it to Pete for Christmas. When received, he flipped through the individual albums that were set inside and sat in awe. I could tell he was re-living those special moments one by one. He kept the photo box next to his couch and looked through the pictures quite often. He always told me that box of memories was the best gift received all year long.
APPLICATION -
The photo box now sits upstairs in my loft next to his couch. The two kinda go together I guess. I spent some time with the photos this evening. I have never seen our family so content. Something about our spirits seemed different that week. Tonight as I look at our pictures .... I realize what it was ...... Love....... 100% Love.
REFLECTION -
My definition of Breckenridge 2008 ............ A snow globe of love.
In just a few words, capture your most memorable trip.
Monday, October 25, 2010
No News is Good News - Day 28 of 365
MEMORY -
Being a young child, I remember Pete preparing for his work day. He would watch the morning news until his coffee was done brewing, turn the t.v off and head to the car. He would come home, turn the t.v back on and leave it on throughout the night before heading to bed. He always knew what was happening in the world, thanks to the news channel. He loved politics as well. He could sit and listen to political debates for hours. Being a child at the time, I had no interest in the news. I never understood why Pete was drawn to this display of constant negativity and sadness.
A month after he discovered his terminal illness, he began to detach himself from family and friends (a normal behavior for those whom are nearing death) I found it interesting that he was still very much attached to the world outside of our family. During this time many changes had occurred but one thing that remained the same was his want to watch the news. This time around he wasn't watching it in preparation for work, it was in preparation to die. While tuned in, he would tell us " Things just aren't the way they use to be, I'm okay with leaving this crazy world" The news was his way of easing the detaching process. Although he enjoyed the pleasures that life provided for him, he knew there had to be a better place. A place that is free from politics, hatred and gossip. A place of eternal love, warmth and peace.
APPLICATION -
Today, I caught some of the news. I thought about what Pete said ...... it was true. We live in a crazy world. There had to be a better place than this. The news channel is where the negative seemed to always out weigh the positive. I turned off the t.v, said a prayer for the world and continued about my day.
REFLECTION -
As we use the news channel to connect to whats happening in the world, Pete was using it to disconnect. Today, I understand why. When one is caught up in the secular world, the news seems informative and entertaining. When one is about to enter a new, the news is nothing but a reminder of the anguish we leave behind and the peace that lies ahead.
Being a young child, I remember Pete preparing for his work day. He would watch the morning news until his coffee was done brewing, turn the t.v off and head to the car. He would come home, turn the t.v back on and leave it on throughout the night before heading to bed. He always knew what was happening in the world, thanks to the news channel. He loved politics as well. He could sit and listen to political debates for hours. Being a child at the time, I had no interest in the news. I never understood why Pete was drawn to this display of constant negativity and sadness.
A month after he discovered his terminal illness, he began to detach himself from family and friends (a normal behavior for those whom are nearing death) I found it interesting that he was still very much attached to the world outside of our family. During this time many changes had occurred but one thing that remained the same was his want to watch the news. This time around he wasn't watching it in preparation for work, it was in preparation to die. While tuned in, he would tell us " Things just aren't the way they use to be, I'm okay with leaving this crazy world" The news was his way of easing the detaching process. Although he enjoyed the pleasures that life provided for him, he knew there had to be a better place. A place that is free from politics, hatred and gossip. A place of eternal love, warmth and peace.
APPLICATION -
Today, I caught some of the news. I thought about what Pete said ...... it was true. We live in a crazy world. There had to be a better place than this. The news channel is where the negative seemed to always out weigh the positive. I turned off the t.v, said a prayer for the world and continued about my day.
REFLECTION -
As we use the news channel to connect to whats happening in the world, Pete was using it to disconnect. Today, I understand why. When one is caught up in the secular world, the news seems informative and entertaining. When one is about to enter a new, the news is nothing but a reminder of the anguish we leave behind and the peace that lies ahead.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Pete's Magic Apron - Day 27 of 365
MEMORY -
It was on many Sundays, like the one today. Uncle Pete would proudly wear his red and white striped apron, and transform the kitchen into a workspace fit for a Chef. It was like magic. He would make something out of nothing. I was always shocked when he told me the limited amount of ingredients he was using.
I remember walking into a home heavily scented of garlic and basil. I'd pop my head around the corner to check in on the master chef himself. He would call me over to the stove where I would get a taste of his work in progress. Never short of amazing, even in the early stages of cook time.
When he wore that apron, he was more than just a man not wanting to get his shirt dirty. He became a provider for the family. EVERY Sunday he prepared our family with a meal that would have our taste buds dancing in flavor. Just before he served the meal, he would briskly wipe his hands on the apron, undo the ties in the back and hang it in the pantry until the following week. It seemed him and this apron had a " same time, same place" meeting arrangement week after week. It was something he could count on and something we could look forward too. Within his collection of cooking tools, the apron was the first he used and the last to put away, being the most used item in the kitchen.
APPLICATION -
Today I decided to have the family over for dinner. As I was hunting down the needed ingredients from the pantry, I noticed his apron. I decided to hang it on the wall in our kitchen to remind me of his cooking days, but never thought about wearing it. In the midst of chopping garlic and boiling water, I decided to give the apron a shot. If anything, maybe Pete's talent would rub off on me. Lord knows I need it when I'm in a kitchen surrounded by heat and knives! As I walked into the living room, a glimpse of myself reflected clearly through the sliding glass door. I couldn't help but remember all the good moments this well loved piece of fabric was apart of.
The once lonely Williams-Sonoma apron that hung from a kitchen wall, is now brought back to life in a new kitchen with a new Chef. It was indeed a staple in Pete's Sunday wardrobe, and it seems to be making it's way into mine.
REFLECTION -
I know wearing this apron won't improve my cooking skills, but as it did with Pete, it will remind me that providing for the family can be as simple as preparing a meal. A meal made with time, effort and most importantly, love. Good meals will come and go, but the magic of that apron will always remain.
It was on many Sundays, like the one today. Uncle Pete would proudly wear his red and white striped apron, and transform the kitchen into a workspace fit for a Chef. It was like magic. He would make something out of nothing. I was always shocked when he told me the limited amount of ingredients he was using.
I remember walking into a home heavily scented of garlic and basil. I'd pop my head around the corner to check in on the master chef himself. He would call me over to the stove where I would get a taste of his work in progress. Never short of amazing, even in the early stages of cook time.
When he wore that apron, he was more than just a man not wanting to get his shirt dirty. He became a provider for the family. EVERY Sunday he prepared our family with a meal that would have our taste buds dancing in flavor. Just before he served the meal, he would briskly wipe his hands on the apron, undo the ties in the back and hang it in the pantry until the following week. It seemed him and this apron had a " same time, same place" meeting arrangement week after week. It was something he could count on and something we could look forward too. Within his collection of cooking tools, the apron was the first he used and the last to put away, being the most used item in the kitchen.
APPLICATION -
Today I decided to have the family over for dinner. As I was hunting down the needed ingredients from the pantry, I noticed his apron. I decided to hang it on the wall in our kitchen to remind me of his cooking days, but never thought about wearing it. In the midst of chopping garlic and boiling water, I decided to give the apron a shot. If anything, maybe Pete's talent would rub off on me. Lord knows I need it when I'm in a kitchen surrounded by heat and knives! As I walked into the living room, a glimpse of myself reflected clearly through the sliding glass door. I couldn't help but remember all the good moments this well loved piece of fabric was apart of.
The once lonely Williams-Sonoma apron that hung from a kitchen wall, is now brought back to life in a new kitchen with a new Chef. It was indeed a staple in Pete's Sunday wardrobe, and it seems to be making it's way into mine.
REFLECTION -
I know wearing this apron won't improve my cooking skills, but as it did with Pete, it will remind me that providing for the family can be as simple as preparing a meal. A meal made with time, effort and most importantly, love. Good meals will come and go, but the magic of that apron will always remain.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Cow, Chicken, Goose, Duck -Day 26 of 365
MEMORY -
Like most dedicated employees, Peter had his days of "burn out". The mornings he had to be up at 4:30 am to prepare for his day seemed to be the hardest on him. On some days, his physical demands were higher than others. Those were the evenings he would come home, exhausted from head to toe. His words were short and patience wore thin. He'd grab a quick dinner, go to his room and watch the evening news till he fell asleep.
Why do we allow ourselves to remain "on the clock" when we are clearly off?
APPLICATION -
This is the first time in 26 days, I am unable to bring myself to a focused enough place in my head and heart to write freely about my day. I feel so ....... empty. I realize that for the first time in almost a month, I lived like I did 27 days ago. Driven by tasks and blinded by completion, still allowing myself to think about my job, even after it was completed. Having a night very similar to the ones that Pete had every now and again.
Today, I was obsessed with choreographing a routine for my student. I started the session with enthusiasm and spunk. Everything was rolling smoothly until the third hour. I began losing creative momentum and it was thinning my patience. I knew my brain was fried when my counts were changing from 1,2,3,4 ...... 5,6,7,8 into .............
"Cow, Chicken, Goose, Duck .... I don't really give a $@&!" As I recited each farm animal, I stomped my feet and flailed my hands. The words came out so quick, I didn't even realized what I had said!!!
My mother looked up in surprise and began to laugh. While my student and mom were busy laughing up a storm, I was forming a storm of my own. A complete brainstorm, thundered in thought, wondering "Why couldn't my choreography come out as smoothly as that did?" I knew then, my time was up. I kicked myself off the clock, put my things away and drove home. Bummed I didn't reach my goal of completion, I left knowing I gave everyone a good laugh. Why did I allowed my brain to remain ON THE CLOCK after I got home?
The rest of my day was spent thinking about that choreography. It wasn't till about an hour ago I sat down to my computer, took a deep breath and realized my Saturday went by in a flash. I am empty and have nothing to write about. That feeling is what got me thinking. Everyone has these types of days. I have them, you have them and Pete had them. After I am done with this blog, I will do as Pete did. Enjoy what I have left of my day, then head to bed in peace.
REFLECTION -
If you ever notice yourself reciting a cranky rhyme involving farm animals and bad language .... it's time to take a breather. Take a break and recharge as soon as you can. This way, you are able to salvage the calm parts of your day then go to bed. When Pete went to bed after dinner, it wasn't because he was still "on the clock" he just wanted to salvage what he had left of his day ...... to find the peace and enjoy the quiet, all completely done OFF THE CLOCK.
Like most dedicated employees, Peter had his days of "burn out". The mornings he had to be up at 4:30 am to prepare for his day seemed to be the hardest on him. On some days, his physical demands were higher than others. Those were the evenings he would come home, exhausted from head to toe. His words were short and patience wore thin. He'd grab a quick dinner, go to his room and watch the evening news till he fell asleep.
Why do we allow ourselves to remain "on the clock" when we are clearly off?
APPLICATION -
This is the first time in 26 days, I am unable to bring myself to a focused enough place in my head and heart to write freely about my day. I feel so ....... empty. I realize that for the first time in almost a month, I lived like I did 27 days ago. Driven by tasks and blinded by completion, still allowing myself to think about my job, even after it was completed. Having a night very similar to the ones that Pete had every now and again.
Today, I was obsessed with choreographing a routine for my student. I started the session with enthusiasm and spunk. Everything was rolling smoothly until the third hour. I began losing creative momentum and it was thinning my patience. I knew my brain was fried when my counts were changing from 1,2,3,4 ...... 5,6,7,8 into .............
"Cow, Chicken, Goose, Duck .... I don't really give a $@&!" As I recited each farm animal, I stomped my feet and flailed my hands. The words came out so quick, I didn't even realized what I had said!!!
My mother looked up in surprise and began to laugh. While my student and mom were busy laughing up a storm, I was forming a storm of my own. A complete brainstorm, thundered in thought, wondering "Why couldn't my choreography come out as smoothly as that did?" I knew then, my time was up. I kicked myself off the clock, put my things away and drove home. Bummed I didn't reach my goal of completion, I left knowing I gave everyone a good laugh. Why did I allowed my brain to remain ON THE CLOCK after I got home?
The rest of my day was spent thinking about that choreography. It wasn't till about an hour ago I sat down to my computer, took a deep breath and realized my Saturday went by in a flash. I am empty and have nothing to write about. That feeling is what got me thinking. Everyone has these types of days. I have them, you have them and Pete had them. After I am done with this blog, I will do as Pete did. Enjoy what I have left of my day, then head to bed in peace.
REFLECTION -
If you ever notice yourself reciting a cranky rhyme involving farm animals and bad language .... it's time to take a breather. Take a break and recharge as soon as you can. This way, you are able to salvage the calm parts of your day then go to bed. When Pete went to bed after dinner, it wasn't because he was still "on the clock" he just wanted to salvage what he had left of his day ...... to find the peace and enjoy the quiet, all completely done OFF THE CLOCK.
Friday, October 22, 2010
A Voice Not Forgotten -Day 25 of 365
MEMORY -
Pete's voice was ever so soothing and filled with kindness. He had humor in his tone and wisdom in his words. It didn't matter what he spoke about, when he spoke, everyone listened.
APPLICATION -
Today during a "Father/Daughter lunch", Dad let me listen to a few voice memos Peter had recorded. It felt amazing to hear his voice again. Almost an unreal encounter..... real in sound, yet unreal in time. I wanted to jump through the phone and give him a hug, something completely unreal and utterly ridiculous. I have never felt an equal amount of sadness and happiness all at one time like I did today.
REFLECTION -
I copied the sound clip to my computer in efforts to preserve a part of him that defined every ounce of his being. You don't realize how much you miss someones voice until the only means of hearing them is through a digital memo pad, luckily I have that much.
Pete's voice was ever so soothing and filled with kindness. He had humor in his tone and wisdom in his words. It didn't matter what he spoke about, when he spoke, everyone listened.
APPLICATION -
Today during a "Father/Daughter lunch", Dad let me listen to a few voice memos Peter had recorded. It felt amazing to hear his voice again. Almost an unreal encounter..... real in sound, yet unreal in time. I wanted to jump through the phone and give him a hug, something completely unreal and utterly ridiculous. I have never felt an equal amount of sadness and happiness all at one time like I did today.
REFLECTION -
I copied the sound clip to my computer in efforts to preserve a part of him that defined every ounce of his being. You don't realize how much you miss someones voice until the only means of hearing them is through a digital memo pad, luckily I have that much.
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